ThisisIt606 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I've been on 5 good dates with this guy that I met online. He's respectful and seems like a true gentleman (opens car and building doors, helps me with my jacket, payed for everything so far). We've cuddled, made out, felt each other over clothes, and 2nd base. I wasn't comfortable with more and he respected my boundaries. We both said "i like you" to each other. The last 2 dates were at his place. I met his mom and brother briefly as they were visiting. The guy I'm seeing knew I had some things in common with his mom and brother so he started some conversation topics for us. He also asked me my last name and had me spell it a few times ( it's complicated/unique) and he said his last name in passing during conversation. He left recently and will be away for about 3 weeks (business then pleasure) I last saw him Wednesday and he last texted me (innitiated it) on Thursday. Is it too creepy/too soon to friend him on fb? He's 10 years older than me and said he's not too into texting or social media but said he did have a fb. I basically want to friend him just to see more pics. He has under 100 friends I noticed so he doesn't seem to be the "typical fb user". Or is this whole FB friending thing not even a big deal? I haven't heard from him yet on his trip and am planning to text him tomorrow late afternoon so it will make sense for the time zone he's in. He's initiated all dates so far/asked me out. When he dropped me off after our last date he seemed sad that he wouldn't see me for long time but we could text until next week before he leaves the country (part 2 of his trip). I do not feel like he will just up and vanish/ I do think he will see me when he gets back so that's not my issue here. Just a long winded (wanted to provided background) way of asking if friending him on FB while he's traveling too creepy/weird/too soon?
Mrin Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Some people are really loose with who the friend. I am not. I had a few women I dated ask to friend me. I said yes only twice. With one i regretted it immediately. The second was a good call.
lillyz Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I am slightly biased here, because I find Facebook really irritating. I think it's too soon. I also don't think it's a big deal. If he's ten years older than you, and doesn't use Facebook much, then don't read into how 'soon' you friend each other on social media, as a lot of people (including myself), don't see it as a primary communication tool. I also think people get carried away with Facebook, but that's another rant. Really, relax. And in my opinion, leave the Facebook stuff alone for now.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I don't see the rush to friend people on Facebook. I think my current boyfriend sent me a request after maybe one date, but he's the type of person to add literally anybody (over a thousand 'friends'), and I'm the type to keep mine very locked down and only add people I consider to be actual friends (I regularly cull from my friendslist so it isn't populated by random people I once met at a party etc.). I didn't accept until we were talking about starting a relationship a few weeks after our first date. I don't like how it gets rid of the mystery. I don't want to learn all about him via his facebook photos and likes, or be able to see photos of him with ex girlfriends. I want to learn about him fresh, through conversation, as and when we choose to share things. He was fine with that, I didn't even mention the request and neither did he, until we got together then I accepted. It's your call. Seeing as you clearly want to be friends there, send him a request. Just make sure you don't get bent outta shape if he doesn't accept.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Who cares about the mystery? Perhaps mystery is the wrong word... I just find it unappealing the idea that I can click onto someone's facebook or they click onto mine, and find out all about their favourite books, TV shows, films, who their closest friends are, photos of every year dating back however long, see who they dated, see what they do for a living, see what they studied at university, where they have worked in the past and so forth. I like and use facebook to keep in touch with people but when I'm dating somebody new I want to learn about each other through spending time and discovering things through conversation. Not meet up with them and already know SO much information about them with zero effort.
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