Socially Awkward and Looking for Love

[Mannibalector]

Hi. So after several months of lurking around, I finally decided that I needed to post something. I could use some advice. (I'm around 20 and male, by the way.)

 

Now I am rather proud and I hate to admit this (even to myself), but I am lonely. I have no close friends, and only a few (10-20) "not-that-close" friends (not sure what the right word is). Worst of all, I've never had a girlfriend despite being a loving person who adores and respects women. I have fallen for someone before, but she is several years older than I and turned me down. She was very nice about it but it still hurt more than anything and I still haven't gotten over it. I figure the only way I'll be able to get over her is to find someone else.

 

But see, it's not so easy. I was homeschooled when young and I grew up basically in the middle of nowhere (redneck country, haha), so I never really got to socialize much. Though I really don't want to admit this as well, I am kind of shy and don't talk to people much. I've been going to college for almost three years and I barely made friends with anyone, let alone a relationship. I don't know if I would call myself introverted (though I probably am somewhat), because I really do enjoy being with people I like, and I feel that I am the happiest when I'm around friends.

 

I'm just really terrible at talking to people I don't know. I can never think of anything to say and I'm rather slow-witted (it's taking me a long time just to write this post!) and awkward. I was also diagnosed with very mild Asperger syndrome when I was young; I don't like to say that I have it, because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me when it's really just how my personality is, but it does mean that I have a harder time interacting with others.

 

So basically my question is this: how exactly do guys meet women? Just going up to random strangers and talking to them is very hard for me, even if they're in the same class or whatever. It feels very forced. The only women I've ever met were by chance, and I've only really gotten close(-ish) to one (she whom I mentioned above). Going by this methodology, who knows how long it'll be before I meet someone I like? I can't really judge my own looks, but I'd say I'm about average (I do have acne though). However I do lift weights and I'm in quite good shape (6'0", ~170lbs with negligible body fat). But that doesn't really matter, I can't exactly sit around flexing and have women flock to me, haha.

 

People always tell me "dude, you gotta get out more" or "put yourself out there", but like, what the heck does that even mean? I typically assume they're talking about going to bars and parties and stuff, but I'm not really keen on that ('cause you know, shyness and awkwardness), and I physically can't drink alcohol anyway. I mean, I'm active and I do have hobbies, but most of them are rather unusual and more appealing to guys. In college I am taking engineering classes and there are exactly zero women in them.

 

Argh, so that was kinda long winded, but there was a lot to say. All I really want is to be loved and share my life with someone special. I know I'm still young, but I feel like now is the best time of my life to meet people, and if I don't do something soon, nothing will change unless I get lucky. And I don't consider myself very lucky. What I want to know is, what do I do?

 

So um, any help? (I swear, I'm not this pathetic in real life. =P)

[JuneJulySeptember]

Worst of all, I've never had a girlfriend despite being a loving person who adores and respects women. I have fallen for someone before, but she is several years older than I and turned me down. She was very nice about it but it still hurt more than anything and I still haven't gotten over it. I figure the only way I'll be able to get over her is to find someone else.

 

 

Don't ever do that again.

 

The way to go with women is to take shots with them as often and as early as possible. Once you get some volume in, your odds will improve.

 

And forget about all that 'nice guy who respects women' crap right now. That won't help you at all. The woman has to be attracted to you.

 

Volume, volume, volume.

 

The fact that you are tall helps a lot. I would also say work on your career so you have some kind of financial security. That will help you with women in the future.

[Mirages]

I was homeschooled when young and I grew up basically in the middle of nowhere (redneck country, haha), so I never really got to socialize much.

At least you seem to know the cause of your issue. I'd join the national guard if I were you, takes about 5% of your time, is patriotic, and teaches you (indirectly) how to handle people. You will socially develop there. I'd also finish college.

 

 

But that doesn't really matter, I can't exactly sit around flexing and have women flock to me, haha.

You have some sense of humor, that is good.

 

how exactly do guys meet women?

The statistical averages matter little. Since you are timid, I would get on an online dating site, find some about 40 minutes away, get into a dinner date with one. If it turns out to be an embarrassment, both the restaurant and the lady are out of town, no real embarrassment. If it is positive, it is close enough to fuel the fire, make sense?

 

And to finish, your motives and presentation are mature and respectable, as were mine once upon a time. That is a bit rare, you sound genuine. With a seasoning of confidence you will be able to find quality out there; don't settle for less.

[normal person]

 

People always tell me "dude, you gotta get out more" or "put yourself out there", but like, what the heck does that even mean? I typically assume they're talking about going to bars and parties and stuff, but I'm not really keen on that ('cause you know, shyness and awkwardness), and I physically can't drink alcohol anyway.

 

Your problem is that you want to meet women on your terms. It isn't going to happen that way. If you want to meet girls your age, you pretty much have to go drinking at bars and parties. That's where they're uninhibited, looking to socialize and meet guys. If you aren't keen on it, you should accept the fact that you might have to step out of your comfort zone and do something you don't want to do in order to get something you want. Yes, it might be uncomfortable for you. But which do you want more, girls or comfort? You can put in some work and possibly get a nice result or you can stay as you are. It's a like an overweight guy saying "How do I get girls without having to lose any weight?"

Edited October 5, 2014 by normal person

[Disillusioned]

Sorry to be the lone heckler who ruins the lecture, but I've actually spoken to a LOT of women at speed dating events, potlucks, BBQ parties, and a few other non-alcohol events over the years, ALL of them geared toward singles.

 

I never approach women in a social setting---if that doesn't qualify as shyness, then I don't know what does---and I KNOW when you sit down at that table across from a woman at a speed dating event, you ain't gonna freeze up in terror.

[Mannibalector]

Thanks for the replies. I'll start from the top.

 

@JuneJulySeptember: So you're saying not to be a nice guy? Sorry, but I abide by the rule of treating others how I like to be treated. I am by no means a saint, but I'll respect anybody (not just women) until they give me a reason not to. That's just how my engine runs, and I fail to see how not being nice will make people like me more. It's counter-intuitive, like trying to put out a fire with a flamethrower. I agree that I probably did wait too long to ask that girl out, but it was a learning experience. I am working towards an engineering degree so hopefully I'll be in good financial shape in a couple years.

 

@Mirages: I actually did want to join the army or coast guard or something, but I'm cursed with this arthritis-type disease (forgot the name) which forces me to give myself a shot in the arm every week, and pretty much makes me ineligible for the military. Before I was taking that medication I was in so much pain that I couldn't get out of bed. This is one of the reasons why I consider myself unlucky. I thought about online dating but after hearing all sorts of horror stories about it, I'm not sure anymore. I don't really do restaurants either, because I have an eating disorder thing (I'm basically the pickiest eater you will ever meet outside of a hospital room). Again, I don't have much in the luck department.

 

@normal person: Well bars would have to wait 'cause I'm not 21 yet, and I never get invited to parties. Even so, I wouldn't be able to drink anything without running the risk of having my liver collapse or some ish. If I ever do go to a party (I probably would if invited) I would just get an Everclear bottle, fill it with water, and watch people's faces as I chug it down, hahaha.

 

@Disillusioned: I dunno where to find those kind of events around here though. Maybe I'm just not looking very hard. But still, I feel like if I did go I'd just kind of sit around and not talk much, thus not getting noticed. Let me just say that I do not feel uncomfortable talking to people (like I said, I enjoy being with others), it's just that my conversational skills suck so most of the time I don't say anything.

[JuneJulySeptember]

@JuneJulySeptember: So you're saying not to be a nice guy? Sorry, but I abide by the rule of treating others how I like to be treated. I am by no means a saint, but I'll respect anybody (not just women) until they give me a reason not to. That's just how my engine runs, and I fail to see how not being nice will make people like me more. It's counter-intuitive, like trying to put out a fire with a flamethrower. I agree that I probably did wait too long to ask that girl out, but it was a learning experience. I am working towards an engineering degree so hopefully I'll be in good financial shape in a couple years.

 

No, I didn't say not to be a nice guy. I just said that won't help you attract women. At best, it just starts you at even.

 

Women really do go for jerks, but part of that is because good looking guys are more often jerks. Anyway, that is a whole 'nother topic.

 

Becoming a jerk may help you get a few more women, but as you said, it will come at costs. Just increase volume.

[Mannibalector]

^I thought that was just some stupid myth. I'd be inclined to think that d-bags have more luck with women because they are more outgoing. How many times have you met a quiet, shy guy who's also an a-hole? That's kind of an oxymoron.

 

But yeah, I agree with you on volume. I just need to get better at making friends. I strongly prefer to get to know a girl before asking her out. I guess all I really want is to be more social. Getting a girlfriend will be a lot easier in light of it. I just don't have much experience, as my childhood mostly consisted of sitting in the house doing schoolwork, playing outside, or gettin' the eggs and feedin' the hawgs.

 

Is there nothing I can do besides just forcing myself to talk to people?

[Mirages]

Mannibalector, I am slowly putting the pieces together here. Nice guy stops when your achievement/happiness is a mirror of the person you are after. not "Nice guy," can include being solid and confident on your own, having appointments and reasons why not 100% of the time is available, etc...

 

Your dietary limitation seems a little OCD to me, go out in the woods, find a fly or cricket, and eat it, really. I strongly suggest you find a way to get over that. In order to find a lady, your luck improves when you are near the middle of the bell curve: problem in relationships is that there area several bell curves, maturity, intelligence, looks, politics, etc. Yes, be yourself, but if you have oddities that you are aware of, such as picky eating, extreme cheapness, whatever, then try to consider overcoming such.

 

Your logic to approach this forum, and some aspects of your communication suggest you have a heart, some brains, are an OK human, deserve quality.

 

Is there nothing I can do besides just forcing myself to talk to people?

 

Part of the reason you describe yourself as slow witted, includes lack of human contact. This is a condition which is both it's cause and it's effect. Getting out there, in a church group, volunteer organization, certain occupations, gives you something to talk about. Once you find the woman of your dreams, you might have to be dynamic and have stuff going on in your life in order to comfortably converse. Hang in there, you're a good fellow.

[JuneJulySeptember]

^I thought that was just some stupid myth. I'd be inclined to think that d-bags have more luck with women because they are more outgoing. How many times have you met a quiet, shy guy who's also an a-hole? That's kind of an oxymoron.

 

But yeah, I agree with you on volume. I just need to get better at making friends. I strongly prefer to get to know a girl before asking her out. I guess all I really want is to be more social. Getting a girlfriend will be a lot easier in light of it. I just don't have much experience, as my childhood mostly consisted of sitting in the house doing schoolwork, playing outside, or gettin' the eggs and feedin' the hawgs.

 

Is there nothing I can do besides just forcing myself to talk to people?

 

This extends outside of the realm of romance, but nice people (women and men) don't get any benefits when it comes to ANYTHING in life: work, friendships, romance, etc.

 

People want what you can give them and the fact that you are nice to people probably just makes them not talk trash about you. It doesn't mean they want to spend time with you as a friend or lover.

 

So, what can you give women that they want? How can you make yourself into a man that women want?

 

It's the age old question. The problem is that the things that most women universally want (height/looks), you can't change. The things that you can change (style, attitude, personality), most women have different opinions on what they want.

 

So, what you should just do is mold yourself best into the type of person you want to be and then go around until you find somebody who gives you a chance.

[todreaminblue]

i am a really awkward person, i hate putting myself out there......i prefer to observe .....i have a writers heart.......i can talk to people though......how i talk to them is i approach them as if they are just like me.....awkward insecure...and it is my job to make them comfortable......i can do that ....because i am goofier than most......

 

 

what i suggest is that you just look at them like people...not potential friends ....not dates in the future but just as people who are as messed up as you are....just in different ways you dont know yet............

 

no one is better than you....you are not better than anyone else.......

 

i dont even feel i belong anywhere really...i am separated from feeling i belong a fair bit.......and i cope......with that simple fact

 

 

 

no one is better than me......i am not better than anyone else....its my mantra...i give it to you.......deb

[Mannibalector]

Your dietary limitation seems a little OCD to me, go out in the woods, find a fly or cricket, and eat it, really. I strongly suggest you find a way to get over that.

I ate a ladybug by accident once. It was nasty. Flies or crickets wouldn't be as bad; you could just swallow them and they don't have that awful stink. I don't think eating bugs would help though, haha. I just prefer to eat food that I like, and there aren't many foods I like. (It comes from this disorder thing that I got as an allergic reaction to this vaccination I had when little.) The girl I was interested in once made me eat a hamburger when we were at a carnival though. So I can venture into unknown food territory, but only if I have sufficient motivation, haha. But I digress.

 

Part of the reason you describe yourself as slow witted, includes lack of human contact. This is a condition which is both it's cause and it's effect. Getting out there, in a church group, volunteer organization, certain occupations, gives you something to talk about. Once you find the woman of your dreams, you might have to be dynamic and have stuff going on in your life in order to comfortably converse. Hang in there, you're a good fellow.

I already did find the woman of my dreams, but she didn't wanna date me, haha. Thanks for the kind words though. I already do have a pretty active life, but like I said, most of my hobbies either aren't very social, or don't really appeal to women.

 

This extends outside of the realm of romance, but nice people (women and men) don't get any benefits when it comes to ANYTHING in life: work, friendships, romance, etc.

 

People want what you can give them and the fact that you are nice to people probably just makes them not talk trash about you. It doesn't mean they want to spend time with you as a friend or lover.

This still makes absolutely no sense to me, but maybe I just don't know enough about people. Though I know a guy who's probably one of the nicest people I've ever met (nicer than I am, that's for sure), he's got a circle of friends the size of Texas, and everybody likes him (me included).

 

no one is better than you....you are not better than anyone else.......

That sounds like good advice. See I am kinda competitive and I dislike it when someone is better than me at something; whether it be if someone can lift more weight than me, does better on a test than me, plays a sport better than me, etc. I get mad at myself when this happens, even though I know I shouldn't. Some have said that I take things too seriously and I'm too hard on myself. My guess is it's because I'm the oldest sibling in my family. I wonder if that's part of my problem?

[preraph]

First of all, you seem very articulate, so that means you can be a good communicator once you get over the fear of it. You are going to have to work to make up for the deficit homeschooling gave you socially. Your friends are right. You need to get out and stay out doing a variety of things, anything you can think of that you might halfway enjoy. No, it's not going to bars or not strictly that anyway.

 

You must not fall into the trap of focusing solely on "finding a woman." You can't do that until you are able to more easily make good social just friends and feel easy going and doing things with them: the museum, the zoo, the game, the movies, a band at a bar or a concert, tubing on the river, whatever. But you can't expect to find anyone or interest them in you unless you are interesting and active. No one wants to hole up with you, and that's all there is to it. You're young and this is the time to not let yourself hole up. Once you're old, maybe you can do that some, but if you don't make friends for life now, you never will. And making friends and expanding your social activities and social circle is the very best way to meet girls. You can't get them by just trying to pick them up cold in bars unless you are a 9 or a 10 and they are stupid girls.

 

Volunteer once a week doing something you love or believe in. It will bring you in contact with people who appreciate you and give you more self-esteem and also put your world into perspective. The local papers and google all will have listings for volunteer work in your town. Take a night class that has lab or take drama or debate, something where you have to work as a team and get to know people. That is your best friend. Just because she homeschooled you doesn't mean you can't enroll at a community college or something now and meet real people and get the most important education of all: socialization.

[Gloria25]

Well, like I posted in another thread in this section, you gotta practice - put yourself out there...but, not in "bars" and "college parties" like some of your friends suggested cuz those environments - while fun, aren't conducive to you meeting anyone who is serious cuz there's alcohol and people pretty much are just having fun there...

 

Ah, home schooling....While I am becoming a strong supporter of it, I believe parents who take it on need to enroll their kids in activities like sports, clubs, music, etc - where they can develop social skills in a healthy environment.

 

Anywho, since you are in college, I think this is a great opportunity for your to develop social skills. Join clubs, groups, sports activities, religious activities and/or church...you'll HAVE to chat people up there.

 

Also, in class, speak to people...Ask them for help studying or something. People like to be useful and helpful...Also, just engage them in casual convo...ask them what they think about a TV show, ask them how they're doing...people really like when you show an interest in them and what they're doing.

[normal person]

Well, like I posted in another thread in this section, you gotta practice - put yourself out there...but, not in "bars" and "college parties" like some of your friends suggested cuz those environments - while fun, aren't conducive to you meeting anyone who is serious cuz there's alcohol and people pretty much are just having fun there...

 

 

This is very misleading. Are you really suggesting that anyone at a bar or party isn't looking for anything serious? This is how people tons of people meet each other, regardless of intentions.

[preraph]

Bars are no place for an amateur. They end up all standing around sheepishly staring at the same two best looking women and going home alone. But if you get some friends you're comfortable with and having fun with, all that fun might lure some women in to the group.

[Mannibalector]

First of all, you seem very articulate, so that means you can be a good communicator once you get over the fear of it.

Yeah, because I have plenty of time to think up what I'm going to say. It takes me a while to write these posts, and then I'll go over them again after I'm finished writing. I would not say I have a "fear" of talking to people, it's just that I can never usually think of anything to say, and can't hold a conversation very long. I get along well with my friends because they're more social and usually do most of the talking.

 

You must not fall into the trap of focusing solely on "finding a woman." You can't do that until you are able to more easily make good social just friends and feel easy going and doing things with them:

Agreed, and this is probably the main reason I made this thread; I want to be more social to improve my chances of finding someone. And of course it doesn't hurt to make more friends in the process.

 

Take a night class that has lab or take drama or debate, something where you have to work as a team and get to know people. That is your best friend. Just because she homeschooled you doesn't mean you can't enroll at a community college or something now and meet real people and get the most important education of all: socialization.

I am enrolled in the community college, doing engineering. The problem is most of my classes are all very small (~10 people), with no women at all (hey, that rhymes). I have made friends with pretty much everyone in the engineering program though. Again, it's probably because they are outgoing. People generally like me once they get to know me, but it's that first step that needs to be overcome.

 

Ah, home schooling....While I am becoming a strong supporter of it, I believe parents who take it on need to enroll their kids in activities like sports, clubs, music, etc - where they can develop social skills in a healthy environment.

Yeah, it's definitely a very good thing (I feel like I think differently than most) and I'm glad I had it, but I do kinda wish my parents made me do more activities. I guess one problem was that I was ridiculously shy when I was little, and never really wanted to do anything.

 

Anywho, since you are in college, I think this is a great opportunity for your to develop social skills. Join clubs, groups, sports activities, religious activities and/or church...you'll HAVE to chat people up there.

The problem here is that I've never really found many clubs that interest me (I have odd interests). I do have several ideas though; hopefully I can find time for them.

 

Some people in my study group were talking about throwing a party at the end of the semester. I guess I'll try to go to that.

[jay1983]

I'm not gonna lie, this is a big disadvantage. You really need a network of friends and activities to meet enough people and find someone compatible.

[jay1983]

This is very misleading. Are you really suggesting that anyone at a bar or party isn't looking for anything serious? This is how people tons of people meet each other, regardless of intentions.

 

The bar is hit or miss, but more often miss. You have smaller neighborhood bars where men out number women 5 to 1 and the people might not be the highest quality. Then you have more popular bars in trendy parts of town where the people appear younger and decent, better man to women ratio, but people go in groups so it's not as easy to talk to people that have their circle going.

[normal person]

The bar is hit or miss, but more often miss.

 

I tend to disagree. More than half of the time I'm out at a bar I'll at least meet someone interesting. Meeting girls at bars has been the source of most of my romantic encounters since I was old enough to drink legally.

 

 

You have smaller neighborhood bars where men out number women 5 to 1 and the people might not be the highest quality.

 

Well it goes without saying that if you're trying to meet girls, don't go there.

 

Then you have more popular bars in trendy parts of town where the people appear younger and decent, better man to women ratio, but people go in groups so it's not as easy to talk to people that have their circle going.

 

So you go with your group and you mingle with the other groups. This is always what happens. I met the last two girls I've been with because I was out with a big group of my friends and having a visible blast. Those two girls wanted to have fun too (it was just the two of them) so they came up and started talking to me. They're still my friends and one of them is now more than that.

 

You won't have much luck going to a bar and be passive. You have to be active and fun. Be the person everyone wants to meet.

[jay1983]

I tend to disagree. More than half of the time I'm out at a bar I'll at least meet someone interesting. Meeting girls at bars has been the source of most of my romantic encounters since I was old enough to drink legally.

 

 

 

 

Well it goes without saying that if you're trying to meet girls, don't go there.

 

 

 

So you go with your group and you mingle with the other groups. This is always what happens. I met the last two girls I've been with because I was out with a big group of my friends and having a visible blast. Those two girls wanted to have fun too (it was just the two of them) so they came up and started talking to me. They're still my friends and one of them is now more than that.

 

You won't have much luck going to a bar and be passive. You have to be active and fun. Be the person everyone wants to meet.

 

Yeah that's how I do it, but it's still hit or miss for me. And seriously, you might be better looking than me.

[GravityMan]

Bars can work in general for meeting potential dating prospects. But I don't think bars are a good option for the OP...even when he becomes legal age within a year. The OP is reserved, socially awkward and (although articulate in written prose) is presumably a bit "slow" in dynamic, spontaneous face-to-face social situations. Bars (most of them - different bars have different vibes) may be a bit too much "sensory overload" for him, especially when they're crowded on say Friday/Saturday nights. Bars work better for people who are outgoing, extroverted, quick-witted, can think on their feet, can get outside their own head, who like to go out on the town with their friends, and are good at reading subtle social cues and innuendo.

 

The issue is, the OP is at an age where many of his peers' idea of having fun is to get ****faced drunk at a bar (or a keg party at someone's house/apartment), or to get their dance on at the club or party (and drugs are often part of the package). Lots of people go through a "wild and rebellious phase" during their late teens and early 20s. Especially those who are in college and no longer living with their parents.

 

I think the OP should stop "looking" for love and just focus on becoming a better, happier and more interesting and sociable person in general. Love has a way of finding us when we're not trying too hard. He should join college clubs or groups that interest him (not necessarily related to his engineering major) not for the purpose of meeting women to date, but simply for the purpose of participating in something potentially enjoyable and building social connections and just getting more exposure and practice to socializing and doing fun things with peers. More practice ==> improved confidence ==> more attractive to others. Plus, many people meet potential dates thru mutual friends. Many opportunities of all kinds (dating, personal, professional, etc.) only present themselves through one's connections. The OP's mild Asperger's may make things more challenging for him but he can still get what he wants despite that.

 

I'm assuming his homeschooling was combined with him living a sheltered life during childhood. People who grew up sheltered tend to be a bit "behind" in the social skills area and have to play catch-up. They also tend to be rather poor at standing up for themselves. I'm not against homeschooling, but I think it is essential that it be combined with some sort of exposure to an extracurricular group or activity with the kid's peers. Developing people skills is just as important as school education if not more so.

[Mannibalector]

GravityMan: You pretty much hit the nail right on the head. That is EXACTLY why I'm hesitant about wanting to go to bars after I turn 21 (aside from the fact that I can't have alcohol). Yeah, I do feel like I was kind of sheltered when I was a kid. That's probably part of the problem. Ugh.

[preraph]

If you have any traditional religious leanings, you might also start going to church because they tend to have lots of activities and mothers wanting to find a nice churchgoing guy for their daughters. If you're lucky, you might even get fixed up with a "wayward" daughter!

[quidproquo89]

Hey man, there are no pathetic people on LS. We all have emotions and battles to face and LS helps you through that.

 

Righty, I used to be just like what you are saying. Awkward, shy - can't talk to people. In a way I'm still like that. I don't like going up to women in bars.

 

Anyway, the more you talk to people the better you get. It doesn't have to be Shakespeare, it just has to be genuine (Truman show misquote ha ha). Make conversation with everybody not just women.

 

You know how you can easily speak to a guy or an elderly lady. That doesn't seem awkward right? You know why? Because you have nothing to lose, it isn't a big deal talking to them. So... it isn't a big deal talking to women either.

 

When I see women in my store. I talk about the clichés and that's ok, because we are all human beings and human beings talk about clichés. Sao a girl comes to my till, I talk about the weather, their job, what their plans are, I observe if they have changed there hair (never anything about their bodies) observe their shopping (ask them if its a quiet night in).

 

The main thing is you have to gradually get used to people. They are the SAME as you. We all have fears, battles etc. We're all human beings! There is nothing wrong with you.

 

In fact your self awareness as hard as it is to believe is a gift. It makes you a decent person and that is always a good thing.

 

I live in a small town, like you. So I understand the feeling of being isolated and disconnected from the masses. Count your blessings firstly that you had some decent home schooling and you live in a nice spot right, country side, maybe?

 

Remember. This is from experience. It WONT always be this way. You will meet people. You will make friends, girlfriends. You just have to keep going. Every step is a step forward just smile and make conversation casually with people and you will get better as you go on.

 

I know how you feel and the fact you want to actively change that is great. Do you have hobbies? Can you join groups? If you get invited to something a event, party, gathering. I implore you to go. Accept every invite even if its out of your comfort zone. Just go. It will give you a great thing called 'opportunity'. Opportunity is chance. Chance is what will one day bring that special lady into your life!

 

Good luck and please keep ME updated