Why Bother!

[Sami47]

I was dating a great man for a couple of months and then I completely violated his trust by looking at his phone messages. He was receiving text messages and smiling at me and not telling me what any of them were about. He also knows that I was in a relationship for a long time with someone who cheated. We weren't exclusive but he knows that I wasn't dating anyone else. I assume that he was still dating and of course he had every right to be. I just couldn't handle the situation any more.

 

I have never done anything so horrible before and I told him about it. Of course, he said we needed to have a break. I asked if this was a permanent break and he said it wasn't. I am sure it must be though and he was just being kind (or in the moment, which guys tend to be). This was a full week ago now.

 

 

I miss him dreadfully and I have taken a week off work to try and pull myself together.

 

 

I have joined a couple of clubs and forced myself to go ... in between the tears. I am proud that I have done that, especially considering all I really want to do is to go to bed and just take sleeping pills or something, so that I can just sleep through all the pain. Yes, I know - we are supposed to "live" through it and feel the pain. Actually would rather not though.

 

 

I haven't dated anyone for 5 years and I just wonder what the point is. Why on earth do we put ourselves through this incredible heartbreak... knowing most of the time it just doesn't work out anyway

 

 

I had another person asking me on a date and originally I said yes, then I said to him that I am just not in the right space for it. I know that going out with someone else will just make me miss the person I lost so much more. Plus, I really don't think I ever want to go through this again.

 

 

I sent him about 4 text messages - saying sorry and some other things (nothing bad) - that was in the first day or so - I don't usually contact him first - so that was very unusual for me. He didn't want to talk about it at the time and I left his place early as I was so embarrassed by what I had done. His last message (in response to mine) was just to say "I'll see you again soon". I haven't sent any more to him and I will now just leave him alone (I wont contact him again and I am fine with that (sort of), while I try and rebuild my shattered life up.

 

 

I miss him so badly and I want him back in my life so much - but I know that I've lost him What's the point and why do we do it!

[StrangerThanFiction]

I was dating a great man for a couple of months and then I completely violated his trust by looking at his phone messages. He was receiving text messages and smiling at me and not telling me what any of them were about. He also knows that I was in a relationship for a long time with someone who cheated. We weren't exclusive but he knows that I wasn't dating anyone else. I assume that he was still dating and of course he had every right to be. I just couldn't handle the situation any more.

 

I have never done anything so horrible before and I told him about it. Of course, he said we needed to have a break. I asked if this was a permanent break and he said it wasn't. I am sure it must be though and he was just being kind (or in the moment, which guys tend to be). This was a full week ago now.

 

 

I miss him dreadfully and I have taken a week off work to try and pull myself together.

 

 

I have joined a couple of clubs and forced myself to go ... in between the tears. I am proud that I have done that, especially considering all I really want to do is to go to bed and just take sleeping pills or something, so that I can just sleep through all the pain. Yes, I know - we are supposed to "live" through it and feel the pain. Actually would rather not though.

 

 

I haven't dated anyone for 5 years and I just wonder what the point is. Why on earth do we put ourselves through this incredible heartbreak... knowing most of the time it just doesn't work out anyway

 

 

I had another person asking me on a date and originally I said yes, then I said to him that I am just not in the right space for it. I know that going out with someone else will just make me miss the person I lost so much more. Plus, I really don't think I ever want to go through this again.

 

 

I sent him about 4 text messages - saying sorry and some other things (nothing bad) - that was in the first day or so - I don't usually contact him first - so that was very unusual for me. He didn't want to talk about it at the time and I left his place early as I was so embarrassed by what I had done. His last message (in response to mine) was just to say "I'll see you again soon". I haven't sent any more to him and I will now just leave him alone (I wont contact him again and I am fine with that (sort of), while I try and rebuild my shattered life up.

 

 

I miss him so badly and I want him back in my life so much - but I know that I've lost him What's the point and why do we do it!

 

I think we do it because there's always the chance that it won't fail. Hope is one of those cool things we humans have!

 

Yeah, you violated his trust by checking his phone. You guys weren't exclusive so if he was seeing other women then that was his business. If you wanted more and didn't talk to him about it then...

 

And oh lordy, do I hear ya. I wish I could just sleep through the pain of my BU. But if we did that, we'd piss the bed and be out on the streets!

 

I think that that was really self-aware of you to turn down the date because you felt you weren't ready for it. Hell, I don't know if I'd be able to do the same right now. The loneliness and all, eh.

 

Glad to hear you're wanting to stick with NC. I've been there with the incessant text messaging and regretted it big time after. If you feel like you want to contact him again, you remember how you felt after you sent those messages.

 

Addressing his text of "I'll see you again soon!". Don't allow yourself to be a back burner babe. If he wanted to be with you, he would be right now. I know you miss him like a mother****** but the fact of the matter is that now you have to focus on you.

[Sami47]

Yes, Strangerthanfiction, we are pretty lucky that we have hope

 

 

It is really hard isn't it. I have moments where I think - maybe I shouldn't have cancelled the new date, but really I know it wouldn't be fair on the other person either.

 

 

It's just so incredibly hard to face the fact that the person you most care for, wont be back in contact again. I know that I have to though. I wish that he had just ended it directly, instead of leaving it open ended. Maybe this is just a guy thing to do. Never mind, I have enough age behind me to know when something is over.

 

 

Yes, the dating situation was difficult with him - as he was dating other women, I said it would be fair for me to date other men - but he said "no, I don't want you dating". So it was a difficult situation for me and confusing Therefore I chose not to date other men as I didn't want to go against his wishes and I was so smitten with him, I really didn't want to date.

 

 

Gosh, if only we could turn back time I have to admit, even after just a week of this horror - I have really pieced together what went wrong and also why it went wrong. Not that it will do me any good whatsoever now

 

 

I should probably be grateful that I am out of it now, instead of wallowing and feeling the yucky pain.

 

 

Yep, no contact wont be too hard - although we all have moments when we think - gosh surely they are missing me as much as I miss them But realistically he is probably just doing what he did before I met him - dating as many women as he possibly can!