Popsicle Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 (edited) I have a profile on an online dating site that is HIDDEN, which means that others can't search for me and find me. This is because I don't want to be on the dating site right now, I am putting it off for the time being (I'm single, btw). So, despite that, yesterday, this guy somehow found me and messaged me. I have a personality descriptive in my profile header. He messaged me by saying that he was curious about me and if I am truly <insert personality descriptive> then we will get along swimmingly. I looked at his profile and he actually does seem like he possesses this same personality trait and also a lot of fun. I think we would get along really well too. The problem is, I am not physically attracted to him based on his pictures. Like at all, and that is unlikely to change. I would like to be friends though and wonder if I could present this option to him without offending him or hurting his feelings. Can I even consider doing that, considering that he messaged me on a dating site (not a friend site) and I guarantee you, this will not grow into more than friendship later AND at some point in the next several months, I will start dating others, which he will see or learn about, assuming he agrees to be friends. Should I even bother to request this of him by saying something like "I'm not interested in dating, but would you be interested in being friends?" (just trying to be straight). Admittedly, I am desperate for friends where I live, both male and female. Thanks for your help and for reading. Edited October 4, 2014 by Popsicle
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Yes, you should bother. Some men will be incredibly offended and call you all kinds of awful names, but many will be glad to take you up on it. When I was dating online I made a lot of friends---both in situations like yours, and when I went out and we immediately discovered there was no chemistry whatsoever. Either way we commiserated together and had a good time. I know someone who met a guy online only to end up dating his roommate! This is the 21st century. Men and women can be friends. While most people on online dating sites aren't looking for friends, being any kind of lonely sucks and most people are happy to meet new people.
Author Popsicle Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Yes, you should bother. Some men will be incredibly offended and call you all kinds of awful names, but many will be glad to take you up on it. When I was dating online I made a lot of friends---both in situations like yours, and when I went out and we immediately discovered there was no chemistry whatsoever. Either way we commiserated together and had a good time. I know someone who met a guy online only to end up dating his roommate! This is the 21st century. Men and women can be friends. While most people on online dating sites aren't looking for friends, being any kind of lonely sucks and most people are happy to meet new people. I hear you. Totally. I'm not looking to do this to many men though or make it a habit. Just thought he in particular seemed like he'd be really cool and fun to hang out with. At least when you and your friend did this, you went out on a date with the guy first.
Author Popsicle Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 I like the idea of commiserating together though. Hahahaha
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