randomacct123 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Hey all Just some back-story first, I left the military last year after 5 years of service and decided to move back to my hometown. During my service time though, I didn't really make an effect to stay in contact with old friends so it was almost as if I was a transplant in my own town and I didn't really know anyone outside of my family. To rebuild my social network, I started attending things like Meetup and other various clubs and just for whatever reason I really can't explain, I'm having a real difficult time creating friendships with guys while a lot of the females at these events I'm able to make really natural conversation into friendships with. Enter 3 months ago, I meet the lady I'm currently going out with. When we first started speaking, she actually thought I was gay-in-denial (she was quite serious) because my amount of female friends so heavily outweighed my male friends. After spending more time together, she gave up on her gay theory and we started dating a bit more seriously. While she was mum about it at first, recently she has started voicing some minor dislike at the amount of female friends I have and how much I spend with them and insisting on meeting each and everyone of them. I can see where she is coming from in a way but think it's excessive? Thoughts everyone and thanks for reading.
LoneIsland Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 You can't expect a woman to feel secure with all them other women throwing themselves at you. It's a blessing and a curse. As for her wanting to meet them all, she just wants to sort out the pecking order ensuring they know she's the top hen.
Ami1uwant Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 When it comes to relationships...she wants to meet those that you socialize with. Part of it is developing trust with you and it's possible by having her with you sends a message that you are taken thus some of these friends will pull back. I understand where you are coming from when I was around yor age I was always the one who could be a girls best friend.
acapelo_dp Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I understand where she is coming from. I wouldn't want my boyfriend to have a bunch of female friends and limited male friends. My boyfriend has female friends, but they have become my friends too so I am perfectly fine with them. All nice and respectful women. I would suggest inviting your gf along to outings or keep the one on one hang outs with your female friends to a minimum.
isisisweeping Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 (edited) If you have appropriate boundaries, I'm not sure why it matters how many male or female friends you have. Though I'd be pissed if my boyfriend was resistant about me meeting anyone Edited October 4, 2014 by isisisweeping
dispatch3d Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 ah whatever you have a lot of female friends that's great. If she has a problem with that I think that's dumb. I'd just let her meet them all. Girls aren't like guys. They don't constantly try to hit on guys they are friends with in the small unlikely scenario where the girl hooks up with the guy. Just let her meet them as long as its not inconvenient.
Phoe Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I personally would find it a bit excessive to be upset about who you're friends with, especially for no reason than the fact that they don't have penises. Go ahead and let her meet them
LoneIsland Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Girls aren't like guys. They don't constantly try to hit on guys they are friends with in the small unlikely scenario where the girl hooks up with the guy. Just let her meet them as long as its not inconvenient. Girls do have a tendency to disrupt a good thing that is going. If the OP's gf is allowed to meet his other friends, it will increase the motivation for the other girls to create some interesting dramas. They are not going to be pecked to the second place lying down. Whatever happens, I think there is going to be some fireworks.
Raena Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I actually think she has the right idea by wanting to meet your female friends. She's not telling you that you CAN'T have female friends, but she is however telling you that if they are that important to you that you want to keep them around then she would like to meet them also. I think I would probably be very uncomfortable dating a man with several female friends, especially if he insists on hanging out alone with them regularly and won't introduce me to them. Exactly how important are these women to you? Are they very close friends or just acquaintances? How do you keep in contact with them? Also, it's pretty early in your relationship right? I thought I read only 3 months? Where do you see this going? Are you feeling like she's pretty special to you? If so, then by all means, introduce her. Calm her fears that you are keeping all these women hanging on the line waiting for their turn.
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