AlexanderJames Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Morning people, or goodnight if you're here in Aust. I posted a thread earlier but being quite long I don't blame people for not reading it enough to give advice. I've been seeing someone short term, things are good and we have been intimate recently. She isn't one for talking about feelings but in group convos she has said infont of me that she doesnt spend time with people 1 on 1 unless they are important and she definitely has no interest in 1 night stands. Sex stories got shared in this pub conversation and she made a point to gesture to me when she would share a story that I need not worry and that this was a long time ago. I have some feelings and stuff I would like to share with her, but given that she is so solitary and not big on company and constant contact I am finding it hard to pick an opportunity to have a talk. I also get vibes from her that deep and meaningful conversations aren't her thing, not this early into hanging out anyway. For this reason I have written a letter and plan on giving it to her and telling her I wrote it rather than asking to see her because I wanted to give her the space to read it in her own time without the pressure of having to give me a face to face reaction straight away. The letter just says things like I am very attracted to her and find myself liking her a lot. Nothing lovely dovey or full on, just where I am at the moment in the situation. Is this appropriate? Or would you be weirded out getting a hand written letter? I don't write letters to women, normally I am very articulate and open face to face I just feel like doing it face to face is not ideal here. That said if letters are creepy and scary nowdays and I don't want to scare her off. Thanks.
cif Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Letter = No. No. No. Continue hanging out with her. She has a wall up and you need to pick at it slowly. The pub incident aside (could be meaningless), has she shown you she's interested at all? 1
GemmaUK Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 She says she only spends one on one time with people who are important to her, made sure you weren't awkward about the stories so it all sounds good. Instead of the letter maybe you could tell her face to face that you are really enjoying her company/really like her. A letter might be a bit much and put pressure on as it's making more of a hefty statement than just stopping and saying 'hey, I really like the time we spend together' Or just enjoy the time and continue getting to know her.
Author AlexanderJames Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Not a whole lot lately but the pub stories happened just last night. The issue lately is because I haven't known how to approach this and I haven't said anything yet I feel like I have been distant and awkward around her. This has then maybe made it look like I am losing interest or fizzling out and that makes her act cold in return. Which then makes wanting to strike up a convo even more intimidating But if you guys think no letter then it can't hurt to just say something simple like I enjoy your company.
cif Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 No letters (just to reiterate). Not yet. Since you're already hanging out, you need to do something special that grabs her attention. Then perhaps you can say you enjoy your time with her, etc. But it's true if you don't make a move she will lose interest.
Author AlexanderJames Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 (edited) See I thought about that. But she isn't really the kind of person that wants someone to do something special and get her attention. She has said just go with the flow and see what happens, but my wanting to share things with her and not knowing how is coming across as me being awkward and losing interest. Which really just means I should tell her that. Tell her that I am still keen to hang out and tell her that I like her. Would it be too much at this stage to tell her how attractive I think she is? People chuck it out there all the time to make people feel special although they might not actually mean it I know, but I have had a number of sexual partners (without trying to sound like a player) and we have only slept together once so far but never in my sexually active life have I been more physically attracted to someone's body before. It's almost like an addiction. Obviously my attraction isn't purely physically based that would be shallow. But I'd like her to know how perfect I think she is. Edited October 4, 2014 by AlexanderJames
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