heartonfire10 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 What our issues are aside, I was told by my bf (or soon to be ex bf /complicated) that back when he lost his job in February that he was told by his exes boyfriend to f$&! (Enter state we live in here) and pack his s@&$ and drive back to the state they live and where he lived before for a couple years. He said no because his mom is here and because of me and our relationship. I doubt he said anything about not wanting to leave me but I do think he didnt go because of his mom. We have lived together for over a year, so he was living with me when this comment was made and that guy knew this. So, I'm pretty offended even though the comment was apparently made months ago. I feel like who says that stuff as advice when someone loses a job and has people they are close to...to say pick up and move to the other side of the country again? It's just bs, and makes me mad. Is this silly? Please be kind in your responses.
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Wow! I had that similar issue with my at the time GF... it was a lack of understanding between us. She wanted to move in with her best friend and her BF. I had to move home 300 miles away to get myself clear on looking for a job. Being with my GF kept me less motivated as our time, was consumed by our time with each other. Not that I needed a break from her, just needed some prioritizing. I got a very good job, and a location to move to within 2 weeks, and came back down to tell her as things got in place. She was upset that I found our own place, even though it was in a good part of town, and very close to her parents house. She also got upset that I had no plans on staying with her best friend as room mates. So, everything went down hill fast, and our relationship ended. I had thought i was doing right when she see's differently about it. I can guess he moved to get a job and make money, in plans to move you there to be with him, or save to have money to be with you. All I see is your rant so, as far as I can see your both right???
Elle1975 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I get told that one ALL the time "why don't you move back to.." Why? I live here. I like living here. I have my friends, my school, my habits.. It really is not an uncommon thing to say. I have said it to people from other states who ended up being unemployed in mine.
Raena Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Yeah, people say that to me all the time too. I have friends spread out across the states and every time I complain about something here (weather, taxes, etc) they say exactly that... forget (my state), come live HERE (their state). I wouldn't take it as an offensive thing really. My guess is these friends weren't thinking YOU would find it offensive, they just want their friend back. In the end, the decision to move would be with him, or you both if you are seriously committed to each other.
Author heartonfire10 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Well, no he never moved. He still is here living with me (for now). I understand that he hasn't had much luck in the state we are in for work, and we need money. But, I'm not a fan of these people (never met them, but don't like situation) and I felt slighted because he moved away from them to be closer to his mom. We met and began a relationship. Then, he loses his job. I'm supportive and stuff, but his exes boyfriend is all screw where you are, move immediately. Honestly, it's like go away dude and mind your business. Lol. Sorry, but I feel slighted like "oh yeah you have a gf you live with...well just leave her ass in a hot second" kind of way. It's not like me and him discussed him moving away to find work. I guess it's a moot point because he never went anywhere, but finding out that stuff now I hold more bad feelings towards the situation.
Diezel Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I don't get it. What is the problem? People are entitled to their opinions whether you like it or not. That guy said his piece, your boyfriend listened, and chose to ignore it. Are you having an abandonment issue? Because even after months of him still staying there, you had to say that he is still there "for now". Is that what is really bothering you? That he might consider it? Because I think you are taking that other person's comment WAY too seriously and blowing it out of proportion. People ARE going to say things you don't like to either you or your boyfriend and it's up to you two to decide whether to entertain the notion or completely ignore it.
Author heartonfire10 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 I understand people are going to say stuff we aren't going to like. I guess because of who this guy is and his association with my bf leaves me uneasy. As well I guess because Im not getting any respect I feel as his gf. I don't know this for a fact and he says he did, but I feel like the only reason he hasn't split and run back to where he lived before is because of his mom and what's going on with her. I think he didnt even mention me as a reason for saying (he says otherwise) and I guess I feel like maybe I was just omitted from the equation. I may be wrong, but that's my feeling.
Diezel Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Problem is, not everyone is going to give him advice based on you. His mom is a constant, you are still a variable. Here is the problem, I see a lot of "I think", "I feel", "I'm feeling", but nothing concrete. All you have to go on is what your boyfriend is telling you and his actions. You're drawing all sorts of conclusions that may not be true at all.
Recommended Posts