tito1501 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I met an 18 years old girl (I am 21). We have had a few dates so far. We have already "slept" together, what increases the possibility of getting attached. Yesterday we spent a lot of time together in a park and I can see good feelings flourishing between us. However, I can see that she is a player, probably I am too and we don't want to get attached to each other. She is still a little unconfident so far and said things like: "never get attached to people; I don't trust guys". I know that making the girl confuse by for example, not texting her for a day is efficient to make her like you even more; better than texting all the time and inviting her out whenever is possible. I would like to know what are the good moments to text a girl, making her feel attached to you. For example, today is Saturday, I want to go out with her tonight but I think I should wait for her to text something.Otherwise she will feel very desired by me, what honestly, is never good for a man in the beginning.
Assasda Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 If you have a life of your own, you dont have to worry about stuff like this man. Get busy, do things in your life. Travel. learn new things. Read. Not only will youstop yourself from suffocating the girl, you'll also have something to talk about 3
ladyu Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 dont text her so true she will be more attracted when u avoid her u seem to be good player too 1
Assasda Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 dont text her so true she will be more attracted when u avoid her u seem to be good player too Sarcasm? 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 A lot of women are conditioned into waiting for the guy to make the move, anyway. So she may never text you until you make the first move. Anyway, if you like her and want to spend time with her then CALL OR TEXT HER AND ASK HER IF SHE HAS PLANS TONIGHT. Stop playing games. If there's enough chemistry, common ground and attraction between you she'll be delighted and will want to meet up with you and spend time together, her knowing you're interested will only make her feel more positively towards you rather than the opposite. Stop overthinking. Whenever I've been dating and a guy has barely got in touch with me, going days without texting, he's dropped out of my mind while the guys that ARE texting me are busy getting in touch. The guys that don't ask me out, for whatever reason, fall to the back of the queue while the guys that DO ask me out are ya know, out with me. Whenever I've been into somebody I have never been put off by them asking me out, the total opposite. There's the other end of the extreme of course, where you're texting her every hour and wanting to spend every night with her, which can kill interest or attraction especially if she likes her own space. But texting or calling a girl to ask her out when you're interested is how it should be (and vice versa for the girl too!). 2
Author tito1501 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 I think you are totally right. I just don't want to suffocate the girl. Probably if I text her again inviting her out she might think that I am getting attached to her; and let's be honest here: women cannot not know it in the beginnig, it's bad for guys . I am afraid of getting attached to the girl, and probably the best to avoid it is to give some space between each call and text.
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I think you are totally right. I just don't want to suffocate the girl. Probably if I text her again inviting her out she might think that I am getting attached to her; and let's be honest here: women cannot not know it in the beginnig, it's bad for guys . I am afraid of getting attached to the girl, and probably the best to avoid it is to give some space between each call and text. If you inviting her out makes her like you less then she was always gonna get sick of you when you eventually ramped up the intimacy/frequency of contact anyway. Don't fear that. Having said that, you saw her yesterday, right? Why not call her and ask her out for tomorrow night? Who has been initiating most of the dates so far? If you've initiated all of them so far there's nothing wrong with stepping back a little to see if she's actually interested and whether she gets back in touch to arrange a date or not. It should be balanced between the two of you. If I thought a guy was unreasonably 'attached' to me after a few dates then it'd be off putting, yes. But if I just thought he was into me? That's hot. The only way I would be put off is if a) he didn't seem to have any life of his own and b) he got weird with me if he asked me out and I wasn't available on that day. As long as you're keeping it light you'll be fine.
LoneIsland Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 You are a playa, you should know this already. Give her just enough rope, but no more. You have been with her only yesterday and already you want to text her. Your playa power is too weak.
AlexanderJames Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Get some hobbies and some outside activities going on. Sounds a bit to me like you are already beginning to check the phone hourly to see if you have a txt. Maybe having lots of naps on the couch to kill time in hopes that she has contacted you while sleeping? Occupy yourself with passionate activities. For me it's kick boxing and the odd video game. Time flies while doing these activities and more often than not I find after a workout or a game I have had someone txt me and it's taken me over an hour to read it. Courting shouldn't be a game. So many people do the whole he took an hour to reply so I'll wait 1 hour 10 mins ect. If you are looking like you will playing each other then put that on the table from day dot so no one gets hurt. As for worrying about getting attached that is entirely on you. I'd suggest hanging out as friends and hang out as you are. Enjoy the friendship and learn more about her. Monitor your feelings though, if you start to get attached or fall for her and you don't want that to happen, just limit visits and cut back on contact. If you suddenly go cold on her to distance yourself and she isn't all that into you then you will win in the sense that you are avoiding that attachment that would only lead to rejection. If she is into you then you will win in the sense that you'll be in with her and you'll know it Good luck
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