LoneIsland Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 But based on those threads as well, you categorize anyone who shows you immediate interest as a player and then proceed to send mixed signals or play mind games. Then there lies the problem. Nice guys who are not all that experienced tends to come on strong. But they are all rejected. I am now not surprised there are no nice guys for the OP. I have a suspicion those "nice guys" who reject the OP are in fact playas who are just playing the game. It is the rejection that makes them attractive and gaining them a false image of being the "nice guys".
Priv Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Is it maybe not also a case of wanting those you can't have and being to quick to judge those that like you as loser. Would make sense if you have little self-esteem as in 'I am a loser, so anyone who likes me must also be a loser'. Because honestly, how many true losers and douchebags are out there. Not a lot and is very black & white / irrational thinking...
LoneIsland Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Perhaps the OP is not experienced enough to play the game. She is supposed to respond positively to those "nice guys" doing the rejections. But she doesn't. So those games could not continue to their natural conclusions. What the OP needs to do is to grow some, er, boobs, and try just a tiny bit harder, as she is supposed to, with the rejecters. She might find she will be given more rope to play with.
Natsu21 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I'm intelligent, reserved but frank, and outspoken. How about we get to know each other, Ashley? lol.
jay1983 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Something about this whole post doesn't smell right.
Diezel Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Something about this whole post doesn't smell right. You mean, the whole "look at me, look at me, look at me" aspect of it? 2
NJ123 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Something about this whole post doesn't smell right. lol I was thinking the same thing. I don't want to offend the OP, but I think she's just looking for attention & seeking reassurance about her looks. Since she mentions her pictures right in the first post & mentions if the problem is her looks. There's absolutely no way a girl who looks like her is getting turned down by a bunch of guys unless she has a really bad attitude or something else. 2
Ami1uwant Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 In reading this post and referencing your past threads...... Nice guys tend to be shy and aren't as cued in on subtle hints....especially if they see your interactions with other men. If you are at some party and see 5 nice guys you are interested in and you talk with one then go to the other they see your behavior similar thus they can't read your interest vs this is how you are normally. When a nice guy approaches you you turn him away. You don't get it..... 1
quidproquo89 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 move to Southern England, I'm a nice guy who will go out with you . In all seriousness though. You look beautiful, so if you just filter the people you want around you and act nice and smiley around dating prospects they will come to you. Good luck. Just be thankful your not a guy who has to do all the chasing lol 1
Diezel Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Guys, stop feeding her ego. Trust me, it's only encouraging it. 3
Author Ashley S Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 lol I was thinking the same thing. I don't want to offend the OP, but I think she's just looking for attention & seeking reassurance about her looks. Since she mentions her pictures right in the first post & mentions if the problem is her looks. There's absolutely no way a girl who looks like her is getting turned down by a bunch of guys unless she has a really bad attitude or something else. The reason why I mentioned my pictures is because I knew people would say "It's probably how you look" And I so I put up pictures to let people know what I look like to get different opinions on why maybe some part of my looks is the reason. I will take the pictures down because I am not looking for an ego boost or for my ego to be stroked. I am not turned down by guys, only the nice ones. I get asked out a lot by guys all the time, but they are no good for me. They are either players, losers, drug addicts, or mean jocks. Not my type. The nice guys though, they reject me, and that is what I am complaining about. I am not looking for reassurance on my looks nor am I looking for attention. Like I explained, it was only to help people out because I knew people would say "It's how you look why you get rejected by nice guys"
NJ123 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 The reason why I mentioned my pictures is because I knew people would say "It's probably how you look" And I so I put up pictures to let people know what I look like to get different opinions on why maybe some part of my looks is the reason. I will take the pictures down because I am not looking for an ego boost or for my ego to be stroked. I am not turned down by guys, only the nice ones. I get asked out a lot by guys all the time, but they are no good for me. They are either players, losers, drug addicts, or mean jocks. Not my type. The nice guys though, they reject me, and that is what I am complaining about. I am not looking for reassurance on my looks nor am I looking for attention. Like I explained, it was only to help people out because I knew people would say "It's how you look why you get rejected by nice guys" Like big tree said maybe it's the people your associating yourself with that turns the nice guys off. If you want a good guy & not a jerk you shouldn't be associating with these types of people at all in any way. Maybe they get the idea that you'll cheat on them due to the people you were with in the past or your social circle.
Natsu21 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Read your previous threads. The reason why nice guys won't approach you is because you're attracted to jerks and they see that. I hear women saying "I love nerdy guys" but they seem to end up with jocks. What you say and what you do are two different things.
dispatch3d Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 The reason why I mentioned my pictures is because I knew people would say "It's probably how you look" And I so I put up pictures to let people know what I look like to get different opinions on why maybe some part of my looks is the reason. I will take the pictures down because I am not looking for an ego boost or for my ego to be stroked. I am not turned down by guys, only the nice ones. I get asked out a lot by guys all the time, but they are no good for me. They are either players, losers, drug addicts, or mean jocks. Not my type. The nice guys though, they reject me, and that is what I am complaining about. I am not looking for reassurance on my looks nor am I looking for attention. Like I explained, it was only to help people out because I knew people would say "It's how you look why you get rejected by nice guys" Honestly I doubt you are actually being rejected. Explain some of these scenarios where you are rejected? Lots of "nice guys" have low self esteem and honestly if you hit on me I wouldn't believe you were actually interested. Girls as hot as you I would assume would go for a better guy than me. So yeah. Anyhow if you got their number (this should be a given) that should help. I've been rejected in getting numbers very very seldom, unless the other person hates you they will probably give it to you. I would assume they'd want to hang out with you as well. As far as wearing mascara or having big boobs I think that won't matter that much. Your boobs seem nice to me and if you want to wear mascara go for it.
SawtoothMars Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 The reason why I mentioned my pictures is because I knew people would say "It's probably how you look" And I so I put up pictures to let people know what I look like to get different opinions on why maybe some part of my looks is the reason. I will take the pictures down because I am not looking for an ego boost or for my ego to be stroked. I am not turned down by guys, only the nice ones. I get asked out a lot by guys all the time, but they are no good for me. They are either players, losers, drug addicts, or mean jocks. Not my type. The nice guys though, they reject me, and that is what I am complaining about. I am not looking for reassurance on my looks nor am I looking for attention. Like I explained, it was only to help people out because I knew people would say "It's how you look why you get rejected by nice guys" Nice guy is a very generic term... and often guys that girls think are nice don't even describe themselves as nice. Explain what specific traits you are looking for in a "nice guy". You don't need to take the pictures down. These guys are just jumping all over you because you sound youthful. Sometimes old geezers like us forget how it was to be that age. Your pictures are very pretty and to be fair that IS the first question most people would have if you are struggling with guys in general. Guys tend to value "pretty" over anything else... which is kind of ridiculous but true.
Phoe Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 OP, I kinda understand what you're dealing with. Feeling like you can't quite pinpoint one specific thing that is WRONG with you, but wondering why you keep striking out. You start nitpicking and analyzing yourself until you look in the mirror and feel like you're looking at an alien. You don't even know what it is that's in the mirror anymore. It probably comes down to something subtle, something that makes men hesitant, something that needs tweaking. In your case, it might be your open friendliness. Some men might be put off if they see you being friendly with jerky types. But other men might find it admirable that you are friendly to all, so there may be something else to consider. There's always going to be different variables. 1
tpham18nm Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I read through most of the posts, but one thing I wanted to point out is that nice guys come in all shapes and sizes. Just because someone is a "nerd" does not mean that he's a nice guy, believe me, some nerds are just horrible people! Some jocks, althelets, frat brothers, could be the nicest people, so don't judge someone based on looks or classifications. Just talk to everyone to figure them out. With that said, I would consider myself a nice guy. The subtle hints your giving off are pretty in your face lol, idk how a guy cannot understand that? But you need to just chill, don't jump off hinting to people that you want to go to so and so. There's a fine line between being available and too available. Friendly and too friendly! I like that you are friends with everyone, that's a turn on,it shows that you have good social skills. But its important to be reserved as well. Everything needs to be balanced you know? As far as looks go, again there needs to be a balance and a persons first impression is based off of looks. If you dress like a slut, have highlights, and wear dark makeup, and is a metal head than you will be judged as so. Its human nature. Plus that your friendly with everyone can put off a different vibe. It makes you look easy and bad boys smell that vibe and try to get an easy squirt; whereas, a nice guy wouldn't even bother with a woman who is already precieved as being easy. Having deep conversations is just awesome. But that's not something people just do. Its risky and can make someone feel vulnerable. You have to scaffold, or layer, conversions in ways that start off shallow and slowly moves into deeper grounds. When someone discloses information about themselves you should do the same. And disclose information that is on the same level of shallowness/deepness.Otherwise it gets awkward when the other person isn't as open. Just again, balance everything. People in general might not like if someone is overly friendly, it may seem fake. 1
Author Ashley S Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 Nothing to do with looks. Everything to do with you treating people nicely who don't deserve it. Until you rid yourself of these jerks from your daily life it'll be tough to get the kind of guy you say you are looking for. I do and did rid those guys lol.
Author Ashley S Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 Like big tree said maybe it's the people your associating yourself with that turns the nice guys off. If you want a good guy & not a jerk you shouldn't be associating with these types of people at all in any way. Maybe they get the idea that you'll cheat on them due to the people you were with in the past or your social circle. It could be perceived that way. I do realize I look a bi slutty in my pics and guys automatically think I am "easy" or disloyal, slutty etc. When I am the opposite of those things. I am not really experienced in relationships, so I don't have a reputation really. I go out with guys, but I usually just go out with them once, because of their persistence, but I don't have sex with them or anything like that. I am a social butterfly, and I talk to everyone and anyone. It might come off as something intimidating to nice guys, and it sucks because I shouldn't be judged like that. Just because I am social and my hair is a certain way, I am perceived as a "disloyal, cheating slut" Makes me sad that I am unintentionally putting that image out there. Honestly I doubt you are actually being rejected. Explain some of these scenarios where you are rejected? Lots of "nice guys" have low self esteem and honestly if you hit on me I wouldn't believe you were actually interested. Girls as hot as you I would assume would go for a better guy than me. So yeah. Anyhow if you got their number (this should be a given) that should help. I've been rejected in getting numbers very very seldom, unless the other person hates you they will probably give it to you. I would assume they'd want to hang out with you as well. As far as wearing mascara or having big boobs I think that won't matter that much. Your boobs seem nice to me and if you want to wear mascara go for it. Lmao, thank you! Well..the scenarios all seem to be the same. I tend to be more aggressive with the nice guys. I am not aggressive with the guys that constantly try to ask me out, because I want nothing to do with them haha. I call, text, or make hints to go out with the nice guys, and they don't bite. Either because they don't like me, or it's because I am too aggressive and that turns them off. Because this one time I actually was aggressive enough to kinda ask the guy out myself lol, I said "Do you like golfing?" (And the guy was a golfer, go figure lol.) He said "Yeah I am a golfer, so I better love it haha" I said "Yeah! lol then we should go golfing sometime" He didn't respond lol. Then a couple of days later I texted him, and he didn't respond, so I figured **** it. It seems to happen like that all the time though, or they'll get back with their girlfriends or some **** like that. It's ridiculous. But thanks for commenting and for the compliments haha. Nice guy is a very generic term... and often guys that girls think are nice don't even describe themselves as nice. Explain what specific traits you are looking for in a "nice guy". You don't need to take the pictures down. These guys are just jumping all over you because you sound youthful. Sometimes old geezers like us forget how it was to be that age. Your pictures are very pretty and to be fair that IS the first question most people would have if you are struggling with guys in general. Guys tend to value "pretty" over anything else... which is kind of ridiculous but true. Well specific traits that I look for is respect, and kindness. That's really all. Like if the guy is nice and respectful towards people, then I would consider him. I am not shallow, so I really don't go for looks it plays a very minuscule part in what I am looking for. I am all about personality, so if the guy isn't kind, or respectful, I'm not interested lol. Thank you for your input! I might take down the pictures though because everyone is getting the wrong image lol. Thanks.
Author Ashley S Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 OP, I kinda understand what you're dealing with. Feeling like you can't quite pinpoint one specific thing that is WRONG with you, but wondering why you keep striking out. You start nitpicking and analyzing yourself until you look in the mirror and feel like you're looking at an alien. You don't even know what it is that's in the mirror anymore. It probably comes down to something subtle, something that makes men hesitant, something that needs tweaking. In your case, it might be your open friendliness. Some men might be put off if they see you being friendly with jerky types. But other men might find it admirable that you are friendly to all, so there may be something else to consider. There's always going to be different variables. Thank you for understanding! I really appreciate that. You are right! I am nitpicking and analyzing, and I realize that I kind alook slutty in my pics, so that is upsetting because I really hope I am not getting judged based on my looks, because I am a free-spirited rocker girl lol. I am not a slut, or disloyal or whatever. I am the complete opposite but I can see how I can perceived as a disloyal slut to the nice guys and that kinda hurts. You have some good points!
Noproblem Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 You know why they don't like you? Because you are giving them too much attention to the way they think they are better than you While in any another case, they would have pursued you and tried to date you But because you are making them feel superior, they think they are way out of your league I saw your picture, you are a beautiful girl! Stop thinking you are less than them Why do you think they are nice? Just because they are silent and quite Think again Don't call them nice until you get inside their twisted minds Most of the crimes are done by the so called nice guys! Anyway. All I mean is you need more confidence and then guys will come to you...
Noproblem Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Side notes: Some guys don't like girls who wear certain kind of clothes. Like some guys prefer girls to wear jeans, other like them to wear dresses, and there are the kind of guys who like them to wear yoga pants and sport tops So you might also try to change you style! And your problem might deal with your lack of information of their world I mean educate your self in certain areas that seem interesting to them, so you can hold a conversation with them...
Cristo Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I'm a guy that has my stuff together. Relatively good-looking with a good job and relationship-minded (though I wouldn't really call myself a "nice guy" per se). I don't lie, I don't cheat, and I don't use girls for sex. Personally, in all honesty, you are not my type looks-wise. So I would not be initially attracted to you. HOWEVER, if you had an awesome personality and had your stuff (both mental and physical) together, I may develop an interest in you anyway. Based on your posts in this thread and in prior threads, you don't strike me as a person that has their stuff together. Also, low self esteem is not attractive to a guy that has high self esteem.
Cristo Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Sorry can't see guys rejecting a physically attractive girl based on looks. Well I didn't want to be mean and come straight out and say it, but I don't think she's physically attractive. So I would easily reject her if she does not have a great personality and other kinds of value to bring to the table (good job, solid emotional health, etc.).
Cristo Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 To each their own but I believe looks are helping and not hurting her. She's attractive enough to enough guys that they may go for her regardless of anything else. Any quality guy (the ones that she appears to want to attract) would be looking for more than just looks and would generally be looking at the whole package.
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