Fishoman Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Hi fellow posters, After nearly 6 years, unfortunately I'm back on LoveShack.org I've created a new profile as I don't want to associate with my old username, the guy who struggled for so long, trying to cope with a break up. Thanks to all who contributed back then and helped me move on. An example how this community helped each me and other out. So...reason why I'm back. 6 years after the break up, I've definitely moved on but this person I knew has popped their ugly head into my life again, not by choice, (will be referring to her as Ugly Head for this post). I live in a tight knitted community in the UK and have been loving it, made heaps of new friends and even have a new girlfriend of 2 years. Long story short, "Ugly Head" has moved into the town I've been living in recently and has made friends with friends of mine. Recently I've been told that at a gathering not long ago between my friends and their friends, she was present with the person she shacked up with not long after we broke up (guess it's her now BF). Now here's the low life cheap shot "Ugly Head" made, bitched to everyone, including people I know, how **** I was blah blah blah. How I was a bad boyfriend rah rah rah. Which I don't believe to be truthful. I'm sure she was lying through her teeth in front of her BF and to MY friends that I hadn't known when we were together. They wouldn't really give two F**KS as to what our past was like. I don't understand what her motive is. Is she trying to crumble what I have worked so hard to rebuild? Crumble my life, friendship, emotions? I worked so hard and haven't given a single thought about her for a very long time. Once in a blue moon I do think about her, but not as someone I love(d), but someone I use to know and no longer exists. Why is she doing this? I never did bad mouthed her to our mutual friends. My friend were the ones that explained to me what happened, and even they don't understand why she would bitch about me to them, for 15 minutes or so with her boyfriend there. In need of support.
Lostdreams Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 (edited) Hi Fishoman, Well this is tough, she is obviously a mean and twisted person and you are so better off without her I'm sure this proves it to you even more. I don't know how long you guys were together but this shows no respect for you but also no respect for herself and the time she spent with you. If you were so bad why did she stay with you for x months or years? I don't know why she would do this but I do understand that this is hurtful for you .......... but please don't let yourself lose sleep over her behavior. By being so negative about you after so long is definitely not healthy she may well have other issues causing frustration in her life. I don't know if it would help you to feel sorry for her and sorry for her sorry life - does she really have nothing else to talk about 6 years on ? Your true friends will be loyal to you and won't believe her gossipy comments - they probably already think she's an insecure idiot trying to make herself seem interesting but in such a shallow manner. Be thankful that you broke up 6 years ago and I hope that you are happy in your new relationship. Arm yourself so she can't get under your skin - only you can stop that happening - we feel like how we allow ourselves to feel and be sure that you absolutely won't crumble for this garbage. That she now lives in your town is a bummer but you have worked so hard - so take the positives you have built in your life (without her) as your foundation stones. Neither you or she are the same people you were 6 years ago - the guy she thinks she is talking about now no longer exists - so take yourself out of that equation. Just continue what you have been doing, live your life and be happy and be the best person you can be - people who sow negative will reap negative - and that's not you Edited October 4, 2014 by Lostdreams 1
Author Fishoman Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Thanks for your reply Lostdreams. We were together for about 2 years before she broke up with me. I'll definitely try not to lose sleep and yes, I also believe she is twisted in the head. It's is true what you said, true friends will be loyal. I've been friends with them for longer than I knew the ex so you are correct, hopefully they will stick by me. Spoke to my current partner and she's supportive. Like you said, it's a real bummer that she now lives in the same town, a small town for that matter. But we will she who my true friends are. Hopefully I won't have to log on here and chat to you all for too long.
No Limit Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Looks like she's desperate to make some friends. Just ignore it. If your friends ask you tell them the real story, although it might not be necessary; if they're smart, they'll see through her facade pretty quick.
ComingInHot Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Fishoman, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this at all. I say you stay the path of being the better Person. At least for now. Why? This girl sounds like she is going to be her own worst enemy. It says a lot about a person who joins a group and starts pissing and moaning about another person that everyone already knows and knows to be a great person. It is off putting and eventually Ugly Head will be the one people do not like or want to be around. Essentially, she will 'sink her own ship'. CIH* 1
Author Fishoman Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Thank you for the support NoLimit and CIH. Unfortunately, a good friend who I've been talking to about this whole situation mentioned something to the friend that was there about how manipulative and untruthful she is, he responded along the lines of "Ugly Head? No that can't be his ex. Must be someone else". So it seems like Ugly Head has put on an "innocent" cover, how innocent she is and how awful I am etc, so much that my friend has in a way defended her. What a friend. We've been friend longer than he has known her for by far. She's succeeded, changing a friend of mine's perception of me. Doesn't help when he's friends with Ugly Heads BF. Times like these will uncover who your true friends are, and it has unfortunately. I'm trying my absolute hardest for it to not affect my current relationship and life, but it's starting to get hard. CIH, yes I'll be the better person but it's very hurtful for something I've left behind, to come back and chip away my new life. I don't understand how she could talk about me for and say such bad things for apparently 20 minutes, and how my so called friends stood by and listened to her crap.
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