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Need ideas on spying!

flowergirl14

By flowergirl14
in Infidelity

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flowergirl14 Established Member

flowergirl14

Posted
Posted

My husband has cheated before and I think hes up to it again. Only now, he is savier! He works nights and I believe its someone at work during work hours.(ie. Lunch break etc.) They use old fashion motorola pagers at work. His pager has an airmail adress. Any ideas on tapping into this? If he leaves the premises it would be in her car. I have a gps installed on his cell phone and it never leaves work. Are there small gps devices I could put in his clothing like a jacket? Any other ideas???

Conners Established Member

Conners

Posted
Posted

Honestly, the relationship is doomed if it has come to this. Why are you still with him if he has cheated in the past? You obviously have no trust in him and from what you've wrote, it doesn't seem like he's up to anything suspicious. If you really want to know you could just follow him to his work and see for yourself instead of worrying about hacking into technology and installing GPS's.

  • Like 5
CaliGuy Established Member

CaliGuy

Posted
Posted

If you think he's cheating, odds are.... he is.

  • Like 1
veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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omg I love how "my husband might be cheating, how do I verify" = divorce immediately in LS world. LOL. just divorce. no biggie. just go divorce, maybe on your lunch break or you could go into work an hour late on monday and take care of it then.

 

OP if your husband has cheated in the past he should be an open book to you now, so can't you just ask to look at his pager? what happens if you call him during the day?

  • Like 3
CharlieFox Established Member

CharlieFox

Posted
Posted

WTF did I just read? What is this, the James Bond forums?

 

OP, what is the point of spying on your husband? Really? To learn something you already know? Or to have yet ANOTHER reason not to trust him? Or another reason to divorce? Why do you need to do this? To just feel even worse? What is it that you're trying to accomplish, really?

 

Seriously... What the actual ****...

  • Like 2
Elle1975 Established Member

Elle1975

Posted
Posted

If your husband is cheating, just ask for a divorce. I have no idea how to stalk someone, and I really don't want to know. That's just crazy.

No Limit Established Member

No Limit

Posted
Posted
omg I love how "my husband might be cheating, how do I verify" = divorce immediately in LS world. LOL. just divorce. no biggie. just go divorce, maybe on your lunch break or you could go into work an hour late on monday and take care of it then.

 

OP if your husband has cheated in the past he should be an open book to you now, so can't you just ask to look at his pager? what happens if you call him during the day?

 

Of course you'd prefer to stay with a serial cheater for life, hm?

You know, there are some people who are mentally broken because of cheating (best example would be paranoia, the need to stalk your own partner because you can't trust him at all). Besides, who has the time to make a STD test every single week?

 

Obviously this guy is not the remorseful spouse being an open book like a few in the infidelity forum. Majority of cheaters don't give a crap, you know.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
omg I love how "my husband might be cheating, how do I verify" = divorce immediately in LS world. LOL. just divorce. no biggie. just go divorce, maybe on your lunch break or you could go into work an hour late on monday and take care of it then.

 

:laugh::laugh::lmao::lmao::pOMG, you are right this would definitely be advice I would give!

  • Like 1
Elle1975 Established Member

Elle1975

Posted
Posted
omg I love how "my husband might be cheating, how do I verify" = divorce immediately in LS world. LOL. just divorce. no biggie. just go divorce, maybe on your lunch break or you could go into work an hour late on monday and take care of it then.

 

OP if your husband has cheated in the past he should be an open book to you now, so can't you just ask to look at his pager? what happens if you call him during the day?

 

Let's stay with someone who is not at his first offense, that's such a healthy marriage worth saving :lmao:

  • Like 1
Haydn Established Member

Haydn

Posted
Posted

Dark glasses, huge newspaper and a wide brimmed hat. And a code word like....`Red Squirrel has the package` Should work.

  • Like 2
dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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Seriously people.....

 

She was a victim of his infidelity before and so she is having feelings of anxiety about it.

 

She doesnt want to be caught off-guard or "made a fool of" again.

 

She also doesn't want to throw about a bunch of accusations or it might tip his hand (if he is cheating again) so he covers it up and reassures her etc

 

And she doesn't just want to divorce him over what could be a totally wrong suspicion.

 

This is what cheating does to people.

 

She doesn't know exactly what to trust right now until she works through more of her own styff regarding his infidelity.

 

Right now she would like the reassurance that hes not cheating or the knowledge that he is.

 

Nothing is absolute in this situation other than OP being in a pretty dark and lonely place.

 

Have a heart you guys.

 

Its the same if you lived on a quier street and your house got broken into.

Even if you installed a state of the art security system after that, some nights you would still jump out of bed if you heard the tree scratch against the window. still

  • Like 12
veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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Posted

Err hello she doesn't KNOW if he is cheating again. if she forgave him once, that is HER prerogative. Sorry but no I don't think you should automatically DIVORCE because you are nervous something COULD be going on. I'd like to actually find out if I'm being a paranoid fool or not first. Its understandable to be more on edge if it's happened to you before, not saying this guy is or isn't cheating...just saying I think it's worth finding out before friggin divorcing.

  • Like 3
Haydn Established Member

Haydn

Posted
Posted

Joking aside. This is spot on. Trust trust trust makes a fool out of so many of us but trust is all we have.

 

Seriously people.....

 

She was a victim of his infidelity before and so she is having feelings of anxiety about it.

 

She doesnt want to be caught off-guard or "made a fool of" again.

 

She also doesn't want to throw about a bunch of accusations or it might tip his hand (if he is cheating again) so he covers it up and reassures her etc

 

And she doesn't just want to divorce him over what could be a totally wrong suspicion.

 

This is what cheating does to people.

 

She doesn't know exactly what to trust right now until she works through more of her own styff regarding his infidelity.

 

Right now she would like the reassurance that hes not cheating or the knowledge that he is.

 

Nothing is absolute in this situation other than OP being in a pretty dark and lonely place.

 

Have a heart you guys.

 

Its the same if you lived on a quier street and your house got broken into.

Even if you installed a state of the art security system after that, some nights you would still jump out of bed if you heard the tree scratch against the window. still

  • Like 4
scatterd Established Member

scatterd

Posted
Posted

I am sorry for how you are feeling. Their is ways to find out but have not done it myself. Eventually the truth comes out. Hiring a P.I is the best way but you probably cant afford it. And look at G.P.S jewelry. Really if you have to police him It shows that their is issues in your relationship that needs addressed. I do not know how he has treated you or your history but I do know the pain. I will not throw out divorce him though. I would ask him to go to counseling with you though. Something has obviously happened that is making you feel hes cheating. I hope you can find the answers you need. Big Huugs

  • Like 3
Elle1975 Established Member

Elle1975

Posted
Posted

Whats the point in staying in a marriage where you can't trust the one person who is supposed to have your back? Is it how we're supposed to spend the next 20 years? Wondering if s/he is going to cheat "again"?

 

Who wants to live like that? Because seriously, next thing you know, you will be 65, wondering "what the heck happened".

  • Like 1
beyondcrushed Established Member

beyondcrushed

Posted
Posted (edited)

It takes two. Hubby should be doing all he can to build the trust he broke with you from his infidelity. Tell him what you need from him to build that trust ie; free access to his pager, switch shift to days n meet him for lunches, daily calls, etc. But you have to work on it too -- give him a chance and learn to trust again. It takes a lot of time. If it's been some time and nothing is working, you have to make a decision, keep trying, end it, or.....find evidence then decide. What if you find no evidence, will you continue looking until you find something or will you be satisfied and trust him completely? Without trust you have no marriage. It will never ever work. You really need to either trust him or leave.

Edited by beyondcrushed
William Established Member

William

Posted
Posted

Looks like another drive-by so we'll close this up.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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