TBM Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Been dating this girl for three weeks. All has been just great. The background here is my dad and I watch our fav. college team play every week, have for decades. He is getting older so he doesn't go to the games anymore but we always watch together. So the girl I've been seeing knows this, she is however not a fan of any sport. Talking earlier this week, told her dad was coming over Saturday (tomorrow) afternoon to watch the game. She and I had already planned to go to dinner Saturday night. Out of the blue, she calls me today and suggests we spend the day together tomorrow at this big outdoor market she loves, and we'll go to lunch, etc. I reminded her that dad was coming over. She goes from sweet as pie to the "fine, if football is more important" speech. I mean, she got angry about it, told me my dad wouldn't care. Politely informed her that it's pretty gutsy to ask someone you've known three weeks to change 30 years of behavior and to presume what my father (who she's never even met) would think. I started this conversation half apologetic but the more I think about it, watching a game with my dad for 3 hours is not exactly spending every Saturday getting drunk with the fellas. We haven't spoken or texted since our chat this afternoon. Longer this night goes, the more po'd I get. Am I out of line here? I consider myself a nice guy and up until this afternoon was really falling for a super sweet woman. 1
RonaldS Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Auto DQ. It wasn't going to get better. On to the next one. 2
Banjo Han Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 She sounds self centered and unrealistic. If you can't talk it out to your satisfaction, move on.
MrMeh Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 A "super sweet woman" would have understand the circumstances. You dodged a pesky bullet on this one. 1
xdz777 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 She knew you already had plans. Does she know that watching the games with your dad is important to you and is more than just watching football? Anyway, I think it was unfair of her to ask you to switch your plans up. If she didn't want to do dinner, she should have proposed a time other than tomorrow afternoon. 1
Author TBM Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Well, I have no intention of any follow up on this. Unless there's a big time apology coming, I wish her the best and hope she finds a guy who has no interest in sports (or anything else that doesn't interest her). The perplexing thing is that things have been so good. Been a real sweetfest both ways. And then it just turned on a dime. Felt like I wasn't even talking to the same person. Very frustrated
Gloria25 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Umm.... When someone shows you who they are, believe them... She showed you that "she" is the center of attention... I mean, how controlling - she knows you do this with your dad and intentionally picks an event she wants to drag you to on the same day/time. Before you know it, you're gonna have to ask permission from her to brush your teeth. A sign of someone controlling is them isolating you from family and friends...which she apparently is trying to do. Initiate launch sequence.... 3
Gloria25 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 The perplexing thing is that things have been so good. Been a real sweetfest both ways. And then it just turned on a dime. Felt like I wasn't even talking to the same person. Very frustrated That's why it takes at least 1 1/2 to 2 years of being with someone to get to really know them...they can only hide their fangs for so long...
isisisweeping Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 That is totally not okay. I'd maybe give her another chance if she comes to you of her own volition and apologizes and recognizes how out of line she was, otherwise.....
Author TBM Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 That's why it takes at least 1 1/2 to 2 years of being with someone to get to really know them...they can only hide their fangs for so long... Sheesh, I guess so. Glad I didn't tell her I had a bachelor party or a golf weekend with the guys. She may have firebombed the house. 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Maybe its just time of the month we are nightmares then and you wont find one any different! I wouldnt throw it away over that x
Diezel Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Maybe its just time of the month we are nightmares then and you wont find one any different! I wouldnt throw it away over that x Oh please. Cut this crap out. All this woman wanted was to test the OP into seeing if she could get him to bend to her will. It was a test she administered to him, knowing FULL WELL how important this is for him and SHE failed. This isn't her period, or based on how she was feeling, this was a blatant act of emotional manipulation. I would have said, "Yes, football with my dad IS more important." You'll have many girlfriends, you only have one father. 2
Author TBM Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Well I finally got the text. Started out OK but eventually morphed into how hurt and let down she is today. I simply responded that there apparently is no middle ground here. Told her I will always look at myself in the mirror in any dispute but I fail to see anything I've done wrong. Haven't heard back. Hope I don't.
Diezel Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 She's blame shifting. She knows exactly what she is doing but is guilting you into TRYING to make you think it's your fault. I would just tell her that you think this isn't going to work out and to move on. 1
HappyLove Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Well I finally got the text. Started out OK but eventually morphed into how hurt and let down she is today. I simply responded that there apparently is no middle ground here. Told her I will always look at myself in the mirror in any dispute but I fail to see anything I've done wrong. Haven't heard back. Hope I don't. You're crazy for even entertaining her any further. She's shown you the type of person she is. She wasn't able to keep up her fake nice girl act for long was she? You should have wished her good luck with the next one.
HereTodayGoneTomorow Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 If she's like this now - what will she be like down the line? Be glad she revealed her true colours now.
katinlc Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Been dating this girl for three weeks. All has been just great. She goes from sweet as pie to the "fine, if football is more important" speech. Here's what she doesn't understand...it's not about football or any sport, it's about spending time with your dad. Family is extremely important to me and I would never want to date someone who doesn't get that. The fact that she acted all upset/disappointed by the fact you wouldn't cancel with your dad when you have only been dating 3 weeks is unacceptable. It sounds to me like it was more of a test to see if you would pick her and cater to her over your family. Very immature and I think it was her showing her true colors early on...
Toodaloo Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Well I finally got the text. Started out OK but eventually morphed into how hurt and let down she is today. I simply responded that there apparently is no middle ground here. Told her I will always look at myself in the mirror in any dispute but I fail to see anything I've done wrong. Haven't heard back. Hope I don't. Good on you. She sounds a mare. Its only 3 hours and its spending time with your Dad. She is really out of order to be going on like that. Its not as if she were asking you to accompany her to a wedding or funeral etc. It was shopping... I hate sports but would rather watch a game than go shopping! Nope - you carry on looking in the mirror and be glad at what you see looking back.
Redhead14 Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Been dating this girl for three weeks. All has been just great. The background here is my dad and I watch our fav. college team play every week, have for decades. He is getting older so he doesn't go to the games anymore but we always watch together. So the girl I've been seeing knows this, she is however not a fan of any sport. Talking earlier this week, told her dad was coming over Saturday (tomorrow) afternoon to watch the game. She and I had already planned to go to dinner Saturday night. Out of the blue, she calls me today and suggests we spend the day together tomorrow at this big outdoor market she loves, and we'll go to lunch, etc. I reminded her that dad was coming over. She goes from sweet as pie to the "fine, if football is more important" speech. I mean, she got angry about it, told me my dad wouldn't care. Politely informed her that it's pretty gutsy to ask someone you've known three weeks to change 30 years of behavior and to presume what my father (who she's never even met) would think. I started this conversation half apologetic but the more I think about it, watching a game with my dad for 3 hours is not exactly spending every Saturday getting drunk with the fellas. We haven't spoken or texted since our chat this afternoon. Longer this night goes, the more po'd I get. Am I out of line here? I consider myself a nice guy and up until this afternoon was really falling for a super sweet woman. She is displaying needy behavior and very early. She should not be inviting you out yet either and/or if she's going to do that, she needs to be prepared for you to have other plans especially with only a day or less of notice. She's immature at least where dating is concerned.
johnson_j Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Not only immature, but incredibly self-centered. You all already had dinner plans so she knew that you would be with your dad from 1-3 (or whatever) and work her in the evening. Not like you just said "sorry going to watch football all day". If I was you, my only response would be silence. Too bad but you definitely dodged a bullet here.
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