girlywoman25 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I been online dating on and off for a few years now and never found anyone for a long term relationship and I feel like I want to give up. I don't know how much longer should I keep up with it.
Zippy2000 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Hey, don't give up. Internet dating is a numbers game. You just have to develop a tougher skin. Have you got any experiences or stories to tell so we can help you change a few things you maybe doing wrong? 2
Author girlywoman25 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Hey, don't give up. Internet dating is a numbers game. You just have to develop a tougher skin. Have you got any experiences or stories to tell so we can help you change a few things you maybe doing wrong? I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. I have met decent men but I wasn't attracted to them. I have given them a chance and my feelings never changed. The ones I'm interested in don't respond to my message.
mightycpa Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Hey, don't give up. Internet dating is a numbers game. All dating is a numbers game. OLD is just efficient. 2
Arieswoman Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 girlywoman25, My experience of OLD, when I was single, was that it was the reverse of "normal" dating. When you meet someone socially, you know straight away if you are attracted to them or not, there may or may not be "chemistry." If there isn't, you move on. If there is "chemistry" you take it further and get to know them, see what you have in common etc. In OLD you tick all the boxes for your various interests/age requirements etc etc and then look at other peoples' profiles that look like a good match to yours. You won't know about the "chemistry" until you actually meet them. Sadly, it may not be there. When I was single I met some lovely men with OLD but sadly I had to let them go because I just knew that the "spark" was missing. As others have said, it's a numbers game and you need to develop a think skin and keep trying. Good luck. 3
quidproquo89 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 maybe its different for women than it is for men. I get the concept of 'the spark', 'chemistry', but the way I see it is. I think you're attractive, I like your personality - therefore I want to date you. I'm a very reserved person, so it takes me a while to get comfortable with people hence why I don't feel that initial spark as I am more concerned with getting comfortable around this new stranger. You know what I mean, I think this chemistry business needs a little while longer than people are allowing it. You never know you could be letting 'the one' go, simply because you or the other party is not 100% comfortable with first dates, they had a hard week and aren't at there best. I believe their are numerous reasons to give someone a chance. Unless, you simply aren't attracted to someone physically. You can see on OLD sites what people look like, so that shouldn't really be a factor, right? If you reject someone for not looking like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, that person would be a very shallow person indeed. Would you agree to go on a date with someone who didn't meet your physical appearance requirements? Waste of time right? 4
Assasda Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Yes. You should give up. If you stay looking for someone long term, you wont find it. So give up. Then maybe you'll enjoy life and ease into it, instead of trying so hard. By all means, Give up 1
quidproquo89 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Yes. You should give up. If you stay looking for someone long term, you wont find it. So give up. Then maybe you'll enjoy life and ease into it, instead of trying so hard. By all means, Give up or perhaps something less depressing and prickly, like take it with a pinch of salt. Use it as experience and continue to look for someone in real life. Trial and error 1
oberkeat Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 (edited) I ditched online dating because I wasn't getting any dates. On the other hand, you seem to be getting dates, but you're just not crazy about the dudes you've met. I think you should stick with it until you find one you like. Keep goin' on dates. Edited October 4, 2014 by oberkeat 1
Adele0908 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. I have met decent men but I wasn't attracted to them. I have given them a chance and my feelings never changed. The ones I'm interested in don't respond to my message. What do you say in your messages? How do you look in your pics? Maybe you are not letting all your potential show through. I never liked OLD myself, because I like meeting people in person. But I did used to meet guys online, especially in college. Back then it was just for fun and it was super easy to meet guys. I think having that carefree attitude where you you're not worried about the outcome and whether the guy wants a fling or a relationship just allows you to be relaxed and therefore, more attractive to men. I went through a stage of looking for a serious relationship because I thought it would improve my life, and when I went online at that stage, I didn't meet as many guys. It made me feel anxious and uptight, which I think is a man repellant. So I think if you're not having fun with online dating, then I think you should stop until you can relax and have fun with it. 1
Author girlywoman25 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 maybe its different for women than it is for men. I get the concept of 'the spark', 'chemistry', but the way I see it is. I think you're attractive, I like your personality - therefore I want to date you. I'm a very reserved person, so it takes me a while to get comfortable with people hence why I don't feel that initial spark as I am more concerned with getting comfortable around this new stranger. You know what I mean, I think this chemistry business needs a little while longer than people are allowing it. You never know you could be letting 'the one' go, simply because you or the other party is not 100% comfortable with first dates, they had a hard week and aren't at there best. I believe their are numerous reasons to give someone a chance. Unless, you simply aren't attracted to someone physically. You can see on OLD sites what people look like, so that shouldn't really be a factor, right? If you reject someone for not looking like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, that person would be a very shallow person indeed. Would you agree to go on a date with someone who didn't meet your physical appearance requirements? Waste of time right? That is correct. I just follow my gut 1
Author girlywoman25 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 or perhaps something less depressing and prickly, like take it with a pinch of salt. Use it as experience and continue to look for someone in real life. Trial and error I think this is what I should do. 1
Author girlywoman25 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 What do you say in your messages? How do you look in your pics? Maybe you are not letting all your potential show through. I never liked OLD myself, because I like meeting people in person. But I did used to meet guys online, especially in college. Back then it was just for fun and it was super easy to meet guys. I think having that carefree attitude where you you're not worried about the outcome and whether the guy wants a fling or a relationship just allows you to be relaxed and therefore, more attractive to men. I went through a stage of looking for a serious relationship because I thought it would improve my life, and when I went online at that stage, I didn't meet as many guys. It made me feel anxious and uptight, which I think is a man repellant. So I think if you're not having fun with online dating, then I think you should stop until you can relax and have fun with it. When I message someone I say hi or hello how are you doing. I have good decent pictures on my profile. This year in total I met 3 men from online 2 of them I wasn't attracted to and the one I was attracted to and interested in taking things further was mentally unstable and going through alot of problems. I remember one guy I was suppose to meet didn't show up
Zippy2000 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 All dating is a numbers game. OLD is just efficient. Oh? What different types of dating are there? Lol
Tayken Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 I been online dating on and off for a few years now and never found anyone for a long term relationship and I feel like I want to give up. I don't know how much longer should I keep up with it. I know why you might have come to this conclusion, but you are NOT wrong in feeling this way about O.L.D. The problem is that you have people that are recently seperated just looking for attention / self esteem boost / ego rub, then you have those that don't really know what they want, followed by those just looking to play games. As a man, I'll be the first to tell you that communication is paramount, and once you find that you are not getting that from a person, don't waste your time with them. There are other avenues to meet people, and OLD is just one of those, but I wouldn't rely on it as a place to meet THAT person. 2
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