To single or not to single

[Omega87]

On August 16th my girlfriend of 6 and a half years broke up with me. It was a pretty devastating time but in hindsight it was the right decision for both of us, and I was able to work my way through and appreciate the new opportunities in front of me.

 

I don't know what "over it" means, but I am feeling really ok with the breakup, and I have enjoyed the last month.

 

Skip exactly one month to September 16th, I meet a new girl at work. She's gorgeous, fun and just a really cool girl like I haven't ever met before. Things have progressed and we're both really into each other.

 

I thought I would spend a bunch of time figuring myself out as a single person, but I didn't really like being single. I hooked up with a couple girls who I didn't have any real connection with and I hated it. Now I'm with this girl and I have doubts and hesitations of course, but she is the kind of girl I would enjoy having in my life right now.

 

The other thing is that I am a very career driven person (or I'm trying to be). I felt like the break up had lit a fire under my butt to push harder towards my goals. I made a list of 10 things I wanted to achieve over the next 6 months. Finding a new gal wasn't one of them.

 

But damn she is cool and I like her a lot. It is definitely getting to the point where we need to have a conversation about what it is we're doing... and I'm not sure what to say.

 

I think what I want is to give it a try, to casually see each other, and figure out whether she can be the kind of partner who invigorates me to push harder towards my goals, or not, but I don't know that yet.

 

**Remember also!, I have been out of the dating game for my entire adult life. I'm 27 and started dating my girlfriend at 20 in university. I don't know this world.

 

Any advice would be appreciated

[Ami1uwant]

I would be concerned you aren't ready for a relationship after 6.5 yrs of dating this one person.

 

The key is how did it end? Was it something you could see coming? Did it happen unexpectedly?

 

You are young and don't know what an adult life is without a relationship. You may be wanting her so you aren't alone-/not because of who she is.

[Omega87]

It was something I think we both kind of saw coming. There was a ton of love between us but we had grown bored of each other at the same time. Our lives, paths and friends were becoming very different. We just grew apart. I tried hard to make it work, but to no avail. We left on good terms.

 

As with your concern, I agree, and it's part of why I am conflicted. I don't feel like it's a loneliness thing, I'm fine on my own.

 

I just am really digging spending time with this girl, and I think to myself, why would I say no to that? What valid reason do I have? Because I'm "supposed" to be single for a while? It doesn't make a ton of sense to me.

[Ami1uwant]

If she finds out you are just about 6 weeks after a 6.5 yr relationship she may want to pull away and not be rebound Funtime.

 

If your ex came to you and said come back to need what would you do? What if it was just for sex?

[Assasda]

Sounds like youre handling it right.

What you want to do is just have fun with this new girl, and not verbalize your feelings, just feel her out and let her make the rules.

 

Also, take the time to get your life on track.

You seem to be going about this the right way