Does he seem to want me back\feel the same way I do? or am I getting my hopes up

[meriland26]

I was with this guy Matt for three years..starting on my 21st birthday. We first met online a while before and agreed to meet on my birthday. He came up to my city and we hung out with a few of my friends..getting wasted (like you would expect at a 21st birthday. ) Me and him ended up living in my friends bedroom for DAYS after.(we didn't have sex) all we did was gawk at eachother and stare and never want to leave that room. He also told me he was falling in love with me, it was something very deep. Skip ahead a few weeks we were still wrapped up in eachother..cuddling and gawking, being silly and comfortable.

 

He then asked me to marry him (I said yes). We then lived at my aunts place for about.. 7 months, in that time we both got jobs and worked towards getting our own place. He was into videogames at that time. Still sweet and wonderful but gaining some independence (which is good). We moved into our first apartment later and we were STOKED! First place for either of us, we felt so mature lol. After about a year of that we lost our jobs. We had a few arguments here and there but easy ones. We kind of messed the place up tho. We had no other choice than to contact his dad to let us live with him till we find jobs and move out..when we moved in we met his dads gf who was this super uptight clean freak who wanted to lay down rules and family meetings every five minutes.

 

Me and Matt did great in that house, I got a great job and biked to work everyday for exercise. We still had our occasional spats but still stupid or mild. We wanted out of there ASAP cause we HATED his dads gf. She treated me like Cinderella in that house. We lived there for a year and then we moved to a apartment in a city where I was a cook and he worked with plastics. His brother called one day talking about the fact he lost his job and was losing his place, I told Matt to have him live with us till he gets back on his feet...this is where it got bad. His brother moved in and realize he is a EXTREME videogamer who smokes pot all day and drinks.

 

He is smart but hates the world. In him moving in, Matt started hanging with him more..and more.. and latched onto his habits. It got to a point where that was ALL he ever did. I wasn't even allowed to ride in the front seat of the car for crying out loud. They just smoked pot all day and shut the door on me, I was truly living in a bromance. I lost my job and because of all that was going on, I didn't even try to look for more work. I was just depressed and lonely. That is when me and him started to argue a lot..mainly cause I never saw him. He was so wasted all the time and just unhealthy and mad I wanted his brother out cause he was a TERRIBLE influence and before him, Matt was never that bad. He threw the excuse that his brother is the only other source of income (true) and can't. I ended up having a severe nervous breakdown due to isolation and being ignored, it was then I decided to leave Matt because he wouldn't get rid of his brother.

 

He was very sad, and just stood in the doorway watching me pack my stuff, asking if I needed help. The day I was to leave (he was dropping me off) he asked if he could cuddle with me..I said okay and he cried all over me. He drove me to a drop off point with my folks and cried the whole way there. He kissed me passionately before helping me get my stuff out of the car. It was a extremely sad and gut wrenching breakup. I even watched his car leave from the window and just cried. Two months later I wished him a happy birthday on FB and he was like "okay....".

 

I talked to him on the phone and he seemed indifferent\careless for a while, then got frustrated cause he was reexperiencing feelings. After that I hadn't talked to him for 2.5 years (but after a few months I blocked him on FB out of anger). Yesterday I unblocked and messaged him and he was like "OMG it's been ages! how are you?". After some convo he gave me his new phone # and told me to text/call whenever cause he doesn't use FB anymore and he was about to leave. I replied giving him my # and told him he can call\text whenever too. 5 min later HE CALLED ME. We talked on the phone for almost 2 hrs! Catching up, reminiscing, laughing, etc. He was unusually attentive and interested in all i've been up to..he wanted to know everything. He'd laugh at all my jokes and agree with everything I said. He even said he had been trying to make food like I used to but just can't haha.

 

I asked why he didnt message me and he said that he DID try to msg me before but saw I blocked him (figure). He felt bad for how he treated me the last bit of our relationship.. saying he got rid of his bro and can't stand him, and that he is and feels better without him. He said hes visited Cali, got a new awesome job. A few strange things..he says he lives with a roommate who is a "old friend" (and its a girl) he also said for his last birthday he went to Hells Kitchen with a "friend" (who is a girl) and complained about how he had to pay her meal on his birthday and said "guess that is how it is, you arent dating but still have to pay a girls meal" or something. Sounds odd to me haha. At the end of the convo he said it was great to talk to me, I told him I was glad he didn't hate me..he said he never hated me and is over it and has fond memories. He told me (YET AGAIN) to text\call whenever I want.

 

So, now I am wondering if he seems to want me back\is interested in me still OR if he is just ..trying to find closure? Friend zone me so he doesn't feel bad? He's gotten rid of the problem that separated us and I feel I would like to resume provided his brother is not involved but I am terrified not knowing how he feels for me now..and I'm hoping reading this you might know? I don't really know how to go about this so I don't screw it up.

Edited October 3, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[preraph]

Exes sometimes like to stay friends and also it gives them an ego boost to know someone is pining for them sometimes. Actions speak louder than words. If he wanted to "be with you," he'd literally be over there and be with you on a very regular basis. Time to go no contact and cut him off so YOU can heal.