emmajane1181 Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Hi all, Been winding myself up about this all day, so thought I'd get the opinions of others to see if they can offer some insight. About a week ago, I started talking to a guy on an online dating website. He instigated the initial conversation and to begin with, I wasn't that into him. As we talked more I decided he might be worth a shot. We arranged to meet on Wednesday night for drinks, and exchanged numbers. The date went really well - we didn't stop talking, and the attraction was obviously mutual. Shortly after I left in a taxi, he text to say how pretty he thought I was, and that I was to let him know I had gotten home safe. He continued to text the next morning, and told me he was tired but that it was worth it. On the night of the date, I received a text from a friend saying she was no longer able to go out on Friday night. Upon hearing this, the guy said that it was good as he knew I was free. Basically, he hinted we might go out but nothing was set in stone. Returning to yesterday, the texts dwindled in the afternoon. I texted him in the evening to ask whether he had survived the afternoon. He replied almost immediately to say he had, before enquiring about my weekend plans. I told him I wasn't sure, now that my night out had been cancelled. I asked what his were, and he said he was having to go back to his home town the next day after work (tonight) because of a family situation, and that he wasn't sure about Saturday or Sunday evening. I didn't ask what the family issue was, and simply said I hoped everything was ok. He replied saying it really wasn't very good, and I said that I hoped it worked out ok. He didn't reply after than, and I haven't heard anything today. I'm not sure whether he's being genuine, or if he's making this situation up as a way to get out of seeing me, but then nothing was ever set in stone, so he doesn't need an excuse. I should also mention that, after adding eachother on instagram I noticed I had previously dated one of his friends, well over a year ago. I never mentioned it because it wasn't a big deal, but now I'm wondering whether he's found out and it's put him off. It would certainly explain the change. I'm aware I'm being very neurotic and am probably blowing this completely out of proportion, but this is the first decent date ive had in months, and I can't help but feel disappointed! Any comments would be appreciated!
Crila16 Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Well...maybe he does or maybe he doesn't have plans for the weekend. You can only take his work for it. I just personally know when a guy is into you, he can't wait to see you again, and you'd be seeing him tonite. He wouldn't have given it up seeing you for the world, whether he had to get up early or not. Just take it for what it is. Maybe it's just casual, or maybe it will grow into something more. He seems to like you, but you don't seem to be a priority yet. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Maybe he's even dating other people (nothing wrong with that). He definitely likes you or he wouldn't be contacting you still. It's just a matter to what degree he likes you. Time will tell. Just don't sleep with him, until his intentions are crystal clear. In the meantime, go on with your life, meet other people and just enjoy until it all becomes clearer to you. It will.
Cunning_Linguist Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Trust what he says. Give him a chance...for now. Don't worry about it too much and let it happen naturally.
Mrin Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Good stuff above. Out of curiosity, how close did you get with his friend you dated? The reason being is that there is another thread on this forum about a dude who just can't get over the fact that his girlfriend slept with one of his friends a long time ago (before they were an item).
Ami1uwant Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Trust him now. Things come up. It's too early in the relationship yo talk about family related baggage. Had you set up a certain date he probably would've had to cancel. How much did you date his friend? A couple dates? A couple months? Did something happen here with it ending that could shine a negative light on you? ( example clingy, possessive, controlling, psycho)
Author emmajane1181 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Posted October 3, 2014 Thanks for all the responses! I know I should communicate with him, but if he really is dealing with a family issue tonight, I don't want to be a nuisance. His friend and I went out twice maybe 7 years ago, and again once a year and a half ago. Nothing happened really, we just never arranged to see each other again. I can't think of any reason he would bad mouth me - I certainly wasn't clingy, or texting him all the time.
smackie9 Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 how about this....forget about it go out and do something tonight instead of letting your imagination get the best of you.
writergal Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 (edited) Seriously this bugs me about dating. Those first few dates are key. If the guy doesn't keep his word, to me that means he's not that interested. As Crila said, if a guy is into you, he can't wait to see you again and will commit to making plans with you. Nothing will stand in his way. None of this business with last minute excuses to cancel the date, or being unwilling to commit to a date ahead of time, "let's just play it by ear." Guys who are lukewarm about you do those things. Because if a guy wants to see you, he will. No excuses. And who wants to waste good lipstick, neck perfume and sexy undies on a lukewarm guy?? Not this gal. Edited October 3, 2014 by writergal 1
smackie9 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Ya I think it's pretty clear if they don't respond much or call you that's because they don't want to. This isn't just for the ladies, this is for the guys too. I lost count on how many thread started by guys "We had great first 2 dates, now she doesn't respond to my texts! What happened?" Just because you had great dates, doesn't mean they want a relationship with you. Go by their actions not by their words. They slow down on the responses, they are fading you out. 1
Diezel Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Seriously this bugs me about dating. Those first few dates are key. If the guy doesn't keep his word, to me that means he's not that interested. As Crila said, if a guy is into you, he can't wait to see you again and will commit to making plans with you. Nothing will stand in his way. None of this business with last minute excuses to cancel the date, or being unwilling to commit to a date ahead of time, "let's just play it by ear." Guys who are lukewarm about you do those things. Because if a guy wants to see you, he will. No excuses. And who wants to waste good lipstick, neck perfume and sexy undies on a lukewarm guy?? Not this gal. What are you talking about? He never set Friday in stone. There was no date to cancel. For all we know, he could be dealing with an ailing family member and probably isn't the right frame of mind to even think about dating. Seriously, it's way too early to determine what is going on. Did you even the OP's message before you decided on posting this?
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