splinter Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Do the posters here usually attend their SO's work parties? I have been with the man for 5+ years. He works with a tight knit group of people and to celebrate the end of their quarter they are having a 'get drunk at the bar, out late' night on the weekend. There is an even mix of men and women going. However when I asked if i could attend he said it was just coworkers. Thoughts? I have met a few of his coworkers at a wedding before and they loved me so I don't think its embarrassment etc. Thinking too much into this?
Mrs Carter Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 No, I don't go to SO's work parties and vice versa. They have their own jokes, their own banter, they don't want to keep explaining who is who and what is what. He wants to have a good time without looking after you and making sure that you are included. You've met them, they know you exist, let him have his fun. 3
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 I think it depends really. Are the other workers' partners going? If so, I can't really see why you wouldn't be invited along too. If it's coworkers only, then let them all have their fun and stay home or go out yourself. Sometimes colleagues just want to get together, blow off steam about the job and have fun without having to worry about bringing along their partner who will have to be deliberately included into all of the in jokes etc. and who won't know anybody else. Nothing wrong with that at all. But yes, if all of the other partners are invited I'd wonder why he didn't want you there. 3
MissBee Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Do the posters here usually attend their SO's work parties? I have been with the man for 5+ years. He works with a tight knit group of people and to celebrate the end of their quarter they are having a 'get drunk at the bar, out late' night on the weekend. There is an even mix of men and women going. However when I asked if i could attend he said it was just coworkers. Thoughts? I have met a few of his coworkers at a wedding before and they loved me so I don't think its embarrassment etc. Thinking too much into this? If it's just for coworkers then I wouldn't want to attend. Why do you want to attend if it's coworkers only? It's not a formal party where people are bringing their families and he is leaving you out, but seems like a coworkers only type of informal gathering. I've never gone to any work events with a SO. I would go if they invited me but wouldn't ask to be invited. Just cause I wouldn't really think of it and I don't have to go everywhere with my SO. As long as he has you as a date at weddings and elsewhere where SOs are encouraged then I wouldn't get hung up on not going to the bar with him and his coworkers. Just go hang out with your own friends that night if they're free. Do you not trust him? Do you feel there is more to it than he says? If so that's a whole other issue you should explore.
mammasita Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Depends on if its a mix of men and women from work only or with spouses/SOs?
CarrieT Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 If the company is footing the bill, they may have stipulated no spouses or SOs due to costs. As an ex-event planner, my husband frequently asks me to plan his office parties. Some are done for only his employees and once a year, we do something that involves everyone's family. 3
Keenly Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Its perfectly acceptable for partners in relationships to do their own things. You don't need to be doing EVERYTHING together. Just let him have his celebration with his co workers. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 It depends. If it's a team bonding experience your presence will screw that up. If they go out for beers every Friday & the boss is not paying, that may be a different story. Be the classy GF. Offer to pick your guy up afterwards so he has a safe ride home. 1
Crila16 Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Hmmmm....I don't like that there are women going, but my company does it too. Ok...my company does an overnight in the Hamptons every year. There are guys and girls. Spouses and S.O.'s are not allowed. We have drinks, a dinner in one of the execs back yards, and everyone gets wasted. Once the night is over, the girls are sent by car service (all together) to a hotel down the street, and all the guys stay at one of the executives homes. It's just an overnight once a year. Nothing goes on between any co-workers...not ever (gross actually) cause all the guys are married, and only 2 of the women are married. The rest are single. If you trust your boyfriend...who cares. You shouldn't want to go. It will be uncomfortable for you.
Ami1uwant Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 For my work parties...we will have holiday lunch at work and one day in the Ummer we have SN office picnic type of day. If others are bringing their SO they I would...if none of them are then I'm not. It would be an issue if his coworkers are brining their SO and he isn't. Don't know more about yor relationship---- do you go to jus work at all like to meet him for lunch or after work ad if you guys will do something after work? Have you gone to other work happy hour gatherings? If no then it's possible he is interested in a coworker. If this is someone he flirts with and you are the very jealous type then he doesn't want to deal with you or the ramifications were you to blow up in front of coworkers.
Keenly Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Wait a second.... I see a lot of people implying that it " would be an issue " if SO's could come and he didn't invite her. Why exactly would that be an issue? Why would he be OBLIGATED to invite her? What if he simply wanted a night out with his coworkers without her ? Do we really live in a world where people need to go everywhere with each other?
Ami1uwant Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Wait a second.... I see a lot of people implying that it " would be an issue " if SO's could come and he didn't invite her. Why exactly would that be an issue? Why would he be OBLIGATED to invite her? What if he simply wanted a night out with his coworkers without her ? Do we really live in a world where people need to go everywhere with each other? This isn't about going everywhere with each other. It's an issue if the other coworkers invited their SO and they came and he didn't invite her. If it was only coworkers and nobody brought SOs then it's a nonissue. His work is part of his life and she wants to meet some of his coworkers. This is something that goes both ways. Don't you want to meet all your SO close friends ( which includes so e work friends) ??? How would you feel if she was close friends with Jeff at work and always talked about him...wouldn't you want yo meet him?
GemmaUK Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 If I am not secure enough in myself and my relationship for him to go to a work night out then I should not be with that man.
Els Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 It really depends. Some events include family, so I am also invited. Some events are coworkers only, so obviously he goes alone for those. However when I asked if i could attend he said it was just coworkers. Well, you just answered your own question, no? If it's a coworkers-only event why would you even WANT to go? Or do you suspect he is lying to you? Do you have good reason for such a suspicion?
veggirl Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 This doesn't sound like a formal work planned party, more just coworkers socializing outside of work hours. for a work planned party, yes I go if they are allowed a plus 1. for just coworker planned get-togethers/happy hours...I go sometimes. I don't care if I don't go.
Diezel Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Do the posters here usually attend their SO's work parties? I have been with the man for 5+ years. He works with a tight knit group of people and to celebrate the end of their quarter they are having a 'get drunk at the bar, out late' night on the weekend. There is an even mix of men and women going. However when I asked if i could attend he said it was just coworkers. Thoughts? I have met a few of his coworkers at a wedding before and they loved me so I don't think its embarrassment etc. Thinking too much into this? Definitely thinking too much into this. #1: As someone else said, sometimes the company will expense these and they are strict on it being employees only. I know because I just was a part of one two weeks ago. #2: He said it's only co-workers. It's not about you being embarassing or you having met any of them... it's only co-workers. #3: Why did you ask? Next time, let him ask. #4: There is a difference between the holiday party and then "We beasted this quarter" party, by far. 1
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