banini_jeque Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 So, I'm 32, and I dated once in a while earlier in life, but it's really picked up since I turned 30. I don't know, I guess I just feel a lot better about myself now, and I can do it. Anyway, I got dumped back in March after a short but deep relationship, and that's been hard on me, but I'm doing better now, and trying to get out there. All I want to do right now is meet girls and go on dates with them, and not get involved at all, but I don't know how to manage it. Say I go on dates with two different girls one week, and two completely different ones the next. How do I set their expectations correctly so I can make that work without hurting anyone? I'm also worried about sex. I'm terrible at it, but comfortable with that fact. It's not so much that though, as it is, when to do it, if at all if I'm just casually dating lots of girls. I like to feel comfortable with someone first, and that usually doesn't happen for me until I've spent time with them a few times. Then on the other hand, I know with my last girlfriend I felt a lot more comfortable with her after we got that out of the way. On the other hand, if a girl wants to sleep with me on a first date, I'll feel like she doesn't trust herself enough to make it to a third or fifth date when I might feel more comfortable with it. Well, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm excited about learning.
Mrin Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Just be real clear as to what you're looking for. The topic will come up quite early at your age. Phrases like "casually date" and "get to know someone without the pressure of expectations" are good things to say. Tip - if you're going to binge date - and there is nothing wrong with that - keep a cheat sheet for each girl. Jot down stuff you learn like number and names of siblings, schools attended, significant life events. Nothing is worse than saying, "oh hey how is your mom doing after the surgery?" And hearing "um... My mom has been dead for 10 years..." True story
Assasda Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Well, what you says makes no sense. Everyone casually dates, until someone becomes important. If you like the girl and she is fun, youre not gonna say "Well see ya, I wajust wanna casually date, so I'm never gonna see you again" The foolish thing to do, would be to go into dating someone, with relationship on the brain. Your sex question seems convoluted since you said that you want to know someone before sex, then ask about sex on the first date.
Gaeta Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 If your intention is to date that much I imagine you will be using online dating. It's starts there with a very clear profile about what you are looking for. I understand you want to causally date but do you want to always casually date several women or you would like to narrow it down to casually date only one? That also needs to be clarified. You kind of contradict yourself. You talk about needing a certain level of closeness to be intimate with someone then you want to multi-date and maybe have sex with multiple people while keeping it totally casual?
Author banini_jeque Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Yeah I've got all kinds of contradictions in my head right now. I have a date planned for tomorrow at 8, and then I'm planning to go for a walk with another girl earlier in the day.
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