Ready for friendship and intamacy

[Shock Top]

Maybe I'm getting this thread wrong, but here's my post!

My wife of 15 years pushed me away for the last 3 years with rare drunken sex after a party or she just had too many at home. Sadly, I took it like a beaten dog, she even insisted on no snuggling in bed, not even a hand on her hip would be tolerated. She was distant, wouldn't talk about it, refused to discuss divorce. A couple weeks ago I discovered the affair. Marriage is over, 2nd mediation session to sign the papers is tomorrow. My point, I'm in search of a woman, 30's to 40's in the Philly area that is open to have drinks, dinner, talk or whatever. I'm just looking to have someone sit accross the table from me that would like to be there. About me: I'll be 40 this year (not much time left!), average build (not fat or a body builder), told I'm handsome often and not by my mother! Thanks for reading, sorry if it's in the wrong place.

[Mirages]

I'll be 40 this year (not much time left!)

I disagree!

 

It seems like we are in a bit of a similar boat. I also was, early on, considering the same goal you describe, i.e. someone with some relational potential to hang out with. I did not do it, why?

 

I believe that getting relationally attached to one, early one (separation process by the way), would limit the selection process later on. And how may fine women want to be table conversation at dinner with nothing else for 6 months while you make up your mind? I'd take your time on this one. Some ways to pass the time during separation, or early divorce in your case, is: home improvement done by you, a significant amount of work overtime (clear debt/hoard money too), a charitable deployment in your country, possibly even volunteering at your kids' school, physical training, reading Newsweek, etc. to get conversation topics in your mind for the dating that will eventually come.

 

Doing the things on this brief list, even one of them, with your spare time would better prepare you for a lasting relationship. The human mind does not re-boot in twenty seconds, this isn't Linux or Windows, it takes a while, defragment for six months, then look around.