TROSS17 Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 I have been in love with and dating the wrong girl for almost two decades off and on. We all seem to have the "one" our kryptonite so to say. She lies about everything, has a mean streak, has nothing to offer, no job, always in trouble and the drama. I know she is not worthy of me and my time. But I just can not seem to make a permanent break from her. Any advice how to get my mind in the right place?
d0nnivain Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 Make a list of pros & cons. Especially if the cons outweigh the pros, read that list over & over 1
preraph Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 Write down a few of her qualities, both good and bad. Then go through the list one by one and write down the name of a family member or old acquaintance who has that same quality. It may shed light on why her behavior is comfortable to you though toxic.
Author TROSS17 Posted October 2, 2014 Author Posted October 2, 2014 I have done the pros and cons and the way too many cons, my problem is I know I need to get her out of my life I just can not seem to do it. I always get pulled back in. I need tips to get her out of my head once and for all.
Author TROSS17 Posted October 2, 2014 Author Posted October 2, 2014 Sex is not bad, but it goes beyond that. I just can not seem to let her go
Haerts Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 To me it seems like you're accommodated with the wrong one. Maybe she puts you in a guilt trip everytime you try to leave or something? Well, just remember that that's your life and you should be able to choose what you want to do and what you don't. It seems like you do want to leave her, but you just don't have the courage for that yet. Man up and find someone better. You can do it.
stillafool Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 Is it an emotional bond that keeps you there? How long have you been with her?
umirano Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 Helper syndrome, or saviour syndrome. You have it. It will not make you happy. Become more "selfish". Find a girl that meets your standards.
giblesp Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 I have been in love with and dating the wrong girl for almost two decades off and on. We all seem to have the "one" our kryptonite so to say. She lies about everything, has a mean streak, has nothing to offer, no job, always in trouble and the drama. I know she is not worthy of me and my time. But I just can not seem to make a permanent break from her. Any advice how to get my mind in the right place? You don't love her, you're addicted to the pain she gives you. You're lacking self worth. While you're in this state, you'll never get the most from love or the girl you deserve. Check out a book called 'No More Mr Nice Guy,' by Robert Glover.
Assasda Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 I have been in love with and dating the wrong girl for almost two decades off and on. We all seem to have the "one" our kryptonite so to say. She lies about everything, has a mean streak, has nothing to offer, no job, always in trouble and the drama. I know she is not worthy of me and my time. But I just can not seem to make a permanent break from her. Any advice how to get my mind in the right place? hahahaha 2 decades? You're probably just as messed up as she is, or you like being lied too. If you really hate her but still stick around for that long, your self esteem must be super-low.
Arieswoman Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 TROSS17, If you have been with the "wrong" girl for nearly 2 decades and you know she's wrong but can't seem to get out of it then you need to do some serious work on yourself. There must be some payoff for you for staying in this situation. Once you've found out what that is, then you can move forward - if that's what you want. IMO you need some counselling or therapy or both. You need to get a grip now - 20 years is a long time to waste going nowhere. Good luck. 1
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