cereal_dater Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Been dating this girl for 2 months now. Up until a few days ago, should would initiate texts/snapchats/calls nonstop with me. All hours of the day. We had tons of fun. A few days ago the communication started dwindling. Down to almost nothing now. She was actually "too tired" to go out Monday night (unheard of - used to do anything to see me). Two possible explanations: - Her ex-husband visited her last week (to win her back), they divorced early this summer, said she had NO feelings for him when we met in July. He is now the #1 person she snap chats according to that list thing. - We met on Tinder, and while she had not logged in since we met (I checked periodically), she did log in Saturday. When confronted she said she "missed me and wanted to read our original conversation" and then uninstalled it. Has not logged back on but started going cold right after this. I figure she is either rekindling things with the ex-husband, or a new guy caught her eye the night she logged on Tinder. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Been dating this girl for 2 months now. Up until a few days ago, should would initiate texts/snapchats/calls nonstop with me. All hours of the day. We had tons of fun. A few days ago the communication started dwindling. Down to almost nothing now. She was actually "too tired" to go out Monday night (unheard of - used to do anything to see me). Two possible explanations: - Her ex-husband visited her last week (to win her back), they divorced early this summer, said she had NO feelings for him when we met in July. He is now the #1 person she snap chats according to that list thing. - We met on Tinder, and while she had not logged in since we met (I checked periodically), she did log in Saturday. When confronted she said she "missed me and wanted to read our original conversation" and then uninstalled it. Has not logged back on but started going cold right after this. I figure she is either rekindling things with the ex-husband, or a new guy caught her eye the night she logged on Tinder. What do you guys think? Either one of those is likely. I do not condone what she's doing though. She should be direct and communicate with you face to face that she is moving on. Fading out is disrespectful and not mature. Respect for someone you are dating is paramount. Handle all breakups, even if it's just one date, with respect and dignity for the other person. The "dumpee" should also handle the situation with dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
venusishername Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Been dating this girl for 2 months now. Up until a few days ago, should would initiate texts/snapchats/calls nonstop with me. All hours of the day. We had tons of fun. A few days ago the communication started dwindling. Down to almost nothing now. She was actually "too tired" to go out Monday night (unheard of - used to do anything to see me). Two possible explanations: - Her ex-husband visited her last week (to win her back), they divorced early this summer, said she had NO feelings for him when we met in July. He is now the #1 person she snap chats according to that list thing. - We met on Tinder, and while she had not logged in since we met (I checked periodically), she did log in Saturday. When confronted she said she "missed me and wanted to read our original conversation" and then uninstalled it. Has not logged back on but started going cold right after this. I figure she is either rekindling things with the ex-husband, or a new guy caught her eye the night she logged on Tinder. What do you guys think? I think it is WAYYYYYY too soon for her to be dating if she just got divorced early this summer. Meeting on Tinder implies a hookup/casual ( I've been on and off myself with Tinder, and that's what I'm finding so far). If her ex came back to win her back, I would bet money that she is dealing with that situation. She may say she has "ZERO" feelings for him, but I think that's complete BS. My advice to you is to back off and give her space to deal with the ex factor. Tinder has nothing to do with it. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 - Her ex-husband visited her last week (to win her back), they divorced early this summer, said she had NO feelings for him when we met in July. He is now the #1 person she snap chats according to that list thing. Well that says it all doesn't it? Coincidences like that just don't happen. Her ex visits + he's her #1 snap chat = she fades. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 And why are you confronting her for logging into tinder? How did you know if you didn't log on? I'd do a fast fade on you too. Confront that! Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 Been dating this girl for 2 months now. Up until a few days ago, should would initiate texts/snapchats/calls nonstop with me. All hours of the day. We had tons of fun. A few days ago the communication started dwindling. Down to almost nothing now. She was actually "too tired" to go out Monday night (unheard of - used to do anything to see me). Two possible explanations: - Her ex-husband visited her last week (to win her back), they divorced early this summer, said she had NO feelings for him when we met in July. He is now the #1 person she snap chats according to that list thing. - We met on Tinder, and while she had not logged in since we met (I checked periodically), she did log in Saturday. When confronted she said she "missed me and wanted to read our original conversation" and then uninstalled it. Has not logged back on but started going cold right after this. I figure she is either rekindling things with the ex-husband, or a new guy caught her eye the night she logged on Tinder. What do you guys think? What you need to do is see other women. This girl isnt your girlfriend, she can do anything she wants. - And you are not her dad. So see other girls, if she wants to come back and have fun with you, fine, but she cant be controlled Link to post Share on other sites
cmonman Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 The husband is definitely the problem. You don't waste the time to snapchat an ex you have no feelings for. You especially don't do that when you aren't even taking the time to contact the person you're seeing. I think it may be subconscious on her part (as in, she THINKS she's still interested in you and doesn't even realize she's spending more time talking to the ex). That stuff happens all the time, especially with self-destructive people. I would confront her and tell her that you can see that there is something weird going on with the husband, and that you won't be around for that situation. If she wants to move on and be with you, she knows where to find you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cereal_dater Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 Thanks for the replies guys!! Naturally she called 5 minutes after I posted that, figures. I haven't returned her call yet and will take my time doing so; I'll be taking a giant step back of my own to let her miss and wonder about me, two can play this game. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Thanks for the replies guys!! Naturally she called 5 minutes after I posted that, figures. I haven't returned her call yet and will take my time doing so; I'll be taking a giant step back of my own to let her miss and wonder about me, two can play this game. aaaaand this is how you alienate someone and lose a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
cmonman Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Agree with Emelia, two wrongs don't make a right. Set the example you want her to follow. Link to post Share on other sites
ZimboGon Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 I'll be taking a giant step back of my own to let her miss and wonder about me, two can play this game. Lmaaaaooo. I love when people think they are being played by mindgames and mindgame themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cereal_dater Posted October 2, 2014 Author Share Posted October 2, 2014 I beg to differ If she has feelings invested or interest then she will get jealous/worried. When we have something, it instantly becomes of lower value because we no longer have to chase or aspire to it; we simply expect it. But when we lose something we like or are in danger of losing it, it instantly becomes more valuable. There's also a lot of truth in the push pull dynamic in relationships. If you push towards her, she'll pull away. If you pull away she'll push toward you, and a lot of it is gauging the right balance. Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 There's also a lot of truth in the push pull dynamic in relationships. If you push towards her, she'll pull away. If you pull away she'll push toward you, and a lot of it is gauging the right balance. There's alot of push pull in UNHEALTHY relationships. Just curious how old she is. Tinder and snapchat are apps I associate with teens and millenials, not divorcees... Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Naturally she called 5 minutes after I posted that, figures. I haven't returned her call yet and will take my time doing so; I'll be taking a giant step back of my own to let her miss and wonder about me, two can play this game. Insert facepalm picture here. This isn't even about a relationship anymore, it's about "playing games". Sorry OP, you've already lost. Rise above the games, don't be a part of it. Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 There's also a lot of truth in the push pull dynamic in relationships. If you push towards her, she'll pull away. If you pull away she'll push toward you, and a lot of it is gauging the right balance. This only works if the other party actually cares. A healthy relationship can never be built on games. Ever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Been dating this girl for 2 months now. Up until a few days ago, should would initiate texts/snapchats/calls nonstop with me. All hours of the day. We had tons of fun. A few days ago the communication started dwindling. Down to almost nothing now. She was actually "too tired" to go out Monday night (unheard of - used to do anything to see me). Two possible explanations: - Her ex-husband visited her last week (to win her back), they divorced early this summer, said she had NO feelings for him when we met in July. He is now the #1 person she snap chats according to that list thing. - We met on Tinder, and while she had not logged in since we met (I checked periodically), she did log in Saturday. When confronted she said she "missed me and wanted to read our original conversation" and then uninstalled it. Has not logged back on but started going cold right after this. I figure she is either rekindling things with the ex-husband, or a new guy caught her eye the night she logged on Tinder. What do you guys think? Tinder only reports activity when you swipe. Not when you just logon and read messages. She was looking. Why were you checking? And here's a crazy thought...if you're concerned about things fading, the ex, and you actually give a sh*t, how about actually having a conversation about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Haerts Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 I agree with organizedchaos. Why don't you just send her a text or call her, tell her you want to meet up and say your concerns? Believe me, relationships based on games are not really nice, especially because the one playing will usually get frustrated when they start to lose. I do agree though that love always seem like a game; if you care too much, the other side seem to run away. If you don't, they come back to you. But don't get into it, be mature to move on when it's not being good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Tinder only reports activity when you swipe. Not when you just logon and read messages. She was looking. Why were you checking? And here's a crazy thought...if you're concerned about things fading, the ex, and you actually give a sh*t, how about actually having a conversation about it? I have been trying to find info on this. How do you know this? Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 I have been trying to find info on this. How do you know this? I did a test with the girl I had matched with she logged in but only read messages. Did not update her last active date. Link to post Share on other sites
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