Phoe Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 SD, I think you already know how I feel about monkey branching. Women who do that are likely not a good choice to be in a relationship with, because then she will just do it to you. Nevermind doing the honorable and right thing, do the SMART thing and protect yourself from girls who may have no sense of loyalty and are flakey enough to take off on you at a moments notice. Remember how you said you want a woman who is willing to talk to you about issues and give you the opportunity to work on the relationship? Monkey branchers won't do that. They'll just take off. 2
Author somedude81 Posted October 3, 2014 Author Posted October 3, 2014 SD, I think you already know how I feel about monkey branching. Women who do that are likely not a good choice to be in a relationship with, because then she will just do it to you. Nevermind doing the honorable and right thing, do the SMART thing and protect yourself from girls who may have no sense of loyalty and are flakey enough to take off on you at a moments notice. Remember how you said you want a woman who is willing to talk to you about issues and give you the opportunity to work on the relationship? Monkey branchers won't do that. They'll just take off. Ever since what happened with my ex, monkey branching is something that I've thought about a lot. For me it's an absolute last resort. My goal right now is to check girls off my list ASAP. The main way I'm doing that is by finding out who has a boyfriend, using the methods discussed in this thread. If I seriously can't find a cool girl that is available, then I may need to start sniffing out which girls are unhappy in their current relationship. As I said before, it's a last resort.
Weezy1973 Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 I'm going to add my vote to the "just ask her out" brigade. I've had 3 crushes in my life. My first crush I was so afraid of being rejected that I never asked her out and then was heartbroken when she ended up dating another guy. I learned my lesson. The last two crushes I asked them about as directly as possible: "Would you like to go out on a date with me sometime." Literally zero ambiguity. If they're not interested - they'll let you know and it allows you to move on. If they are interested - it can be life changing. 1
Author somedude81 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 I'm going to add my vote to the "just ask her out" brigade. I've had 3 crushes in my life. My first crush I was so afraid of being rejected that I never asked her out and then was heartbroken when she ended up dating another guy. I learned my lesson. The last two crushes I asked them about as directly as possible: "Would you like to go out on a date with me sometime." Literally zero ambiguity. If they're not interested - they'll let you know and it allows you to move on. If they are interested - it can be life changing. That's a new one to this thread. Actually using the word date. That is really direct.
rester Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 That's a new one to this thread. Actually using the word date. That is really direct. Decide what you want and ask for it, clearly and directly. I think you'd be surprised at how often you get it. This doesn't only apply to dates. 3
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Just remember. If a woman rejects a guy who could be a potentially really good partner because of an improper approach or something similarly stupid, then SHE is the one who loses out, not you.
xxoo Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 That's a new one to this thread. Actually using the word date. That is really direct. Direct is manly. Love direct. You've said that women see you as safe and friend-ish. If you're avoiding being direct, that is one reason they see you that way.
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Direct is manly. Love direct. You've said that women see you as safe and friend-ish. If you're avoiding being direct, that is one reason they see you that way. For you... Other women will say guys asking them out too soon or showing really direct interest turns them off and they will reject. I would recommend direct as well though.
xxoo Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 For you... Other women will say guys asking them out too soon or showing really direct interest turns them off and they will reject. I would recommend direct as well though. Hopefully she's already demonstrated some interest by that point!
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Hopefully she's already demonstrated some interest by that point! Whichever way you go, there's no way to win. There's only ways to minimize the impact of rejection.
xxoo Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 Whichever way you go, there's no way to win. . There is no way to assure success, no. But success is very possible
braindamage Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 . Even the Godfather (Godmother?) of advice columns Ann Landers herself would always say that there is no commitment until there is an actual engagement. So unless there is an accepted marriage proposal, it is all free market place. Everyone is open game until there is a ring and a wedding date. chars 1
Author somedude81 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 Direct is manly. Love direct. You've said that women see you as safe and friend-ish. If you're avoiding being direct, that is one reason they see you that way. I'm just afraid that I'll get a lot of no's that may become yes's later on if I was less direct.
xxoo Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I'm just afraid that I'll get a lot of no's that may become yes's later on if I was less direct. It needn't be a direct invitation out of nowhere. This is the reason for flirting, to gauge her interest. Does she perk up, or pull back? If you aren't comfortable flirting with her, it's probably too soon. Get to know her more, flirt, and then proceed. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 (edited) I'm just afraid that I'll get a lot of no's that may become yes's later on if I was less direct. You've been less direct up to this point, right? Waiting for signals, and waiting for women to give you signs and stuff or even get the hint that you like them and ask YOU out. How's that been working for you so far? Edited October 5, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember
Author somedude81 Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 It needn't be a direct invitation out of nowhere. This is the reason for flirting, to gauge her interest. Does she perk up, or pull back? If you aren't comfortable flirting with her, it's probably too soon. Get to know her more, flirt, and then proceed. Good suggestion. Right now I'm thinking of asking a girl out cold as soon as I see her. But after we've been flirting a bit and having fun. The thought of asking her out seems nowhere near as scary. 1
xxoo Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 Good suggestion. Right now I'm thinking of asking a girl out cold as soon as I see her. But after we've been flirting a bit and having fun. The thought of asking her out seems nowhere near as scary. Yep, it should flow naturally. Still nerve-wracking, yes, but that's part of feeling alive No need to force finding out of she's single. If she's flirting and having fun with you, ask her out. If she's not single, you can thank her for the fun flirting anyway. You'll make a good impression. Bold and funny. Women like that. 1
Phoe Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I think SD should go for direct, because even what he considers flirting, is very subtle and easily misconstrued, so his direct approach may also have some sort of subtlety to it, since he naturally is subtle. 1
Recommended Posts