Ryan52 Posted October 1, 2014 Posted October 1, 2014 I met this girl about 3 months ago and we talked everyday of those 3 months. But she just broke up with me. Every thing was going great between us. We had amazing dates and she was bragging to her friends and parents about me. I was planning on meeting her family next week. My gf and I already picked out our halloween costumes together. She was so happy with me up to 5 days ago. After the weekend, something changed. She became distant. She was posting pictures about me on her Facebook and instagram with hearts and everything to not initiating conversations. This was all within a few days. She came over to break the news to me and we talked. She says she loves spending time with me. She's always happy with me but she doesn't have the time for a relationship and she didn't realize it before. We started dating in the summer before her classes. She's a senior in college, trying to go to an ivy league grad school, she has graduate studies, volunteers and has an internship. It was hard to see her, plus I graduated college and have a full time job. She said she wants to see her friends and be with me on her 1-2 days of free time. But had to pick between me and her best friends. She was so stressed with school, grad school, a job and everything that she couldn't grow her feelings for me. She said it wasn't fair to me if she saw me once every 10 days. When we were talking, it seemed like she was going to cry. She has feelings for me and I have feelings for her. It was just the timing was off. Whenever I said something sweet about us, she said to stop because she was getting sad. This breakup came out of nowhere and she agrees. She said it hit her once she became stressed. It wasn't a bad break up at all. She couldn't even take some of her stuff she left at my place because it would remind her of me. What should I do? Go no contact?
SoThatHappened Posted October 1, 2014 Posted October 1, 2014 Hate to be the one to break it to you, but there's a 99% chance she found someone else. There was absolutely no reason to breakup (if everything you posted is true), but she found someone she thinks could be "better" for her. You may find this out sooner or later, but the only thing you can truly do (for you) is to go No Contact. I'm sorry man. I've gone through this as well. You're young and you will get over this in due time, sooner rather than later because of the length of your relationship. My ex was telling me I was the love of her life 24 hours before being caught fooling around with a co-worker. She tried giving excuses for "being distant" all of a sudden until I finally got to the truth. This is NOT your fault. Do NOT think less of yourself. If things were as good as you've stated, she'll very likely be contacting you when the new guy wears off. At your age, I advise that you simply date and get experience. Don't get into relationships until and unless you find "the one." Sorry to hear about it man, but you will be fine. 1
Author Ryan52 Posted October 1, 2014 Author Posted October 1, 2014 Thanks for the reply.... I don't think there's anyone else (I could be wrong) since she only dates within her religion. Her religion isn't that big. But I know for a fact that she's super busy. She has class/work/volunteering and all of that from 7am-9pm at night. She's in charge of organizations and what not. She's under a lot of pressure and stress and she's been freaking out about her work for a month now.
Elias33 Posted October 1, 2014 Posted October 1, 2014 I find it odd. If there are feelings, the problems don't seem THAT much of an obstacle to nurture one's feelings towards each other. Either way, you are better off, even though it is a sad thing. You just ran into someone that or easily gives up on someone, or has other priorities. In either case, it's best you got off easy, and you weren't kept hanging on for longer. Sorry to hear it though, good luck.
Author Ryan52 Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 It's been a few days since the BU and we have not talked. Suddenly I get a text from her asking if I'm going to some religious service tomorrow. She was in the car with her mom. I told her I may go tomorrow but it depends. I ask her exactly where she's going and she replies with a winking face saying, why are you going to show? I tell her it depends if you want me to. She ignores that question and was like my mom wants to know what your mom made for dinner. I tell her and she's like no wayyy, I wish I was invited. Then I ask her if she wants me to go. She again ignores the question. Eventually I tell her I'm going but to message me if she's going. Then she's like why? I'm like to say hi? She's like okay..... She was sending me laughing and winking faces. She was all happy and what not. But why would she message me like this, we haven't talked since the bu, but get defensive when I asked if she wants me to go?
Elle1975 Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 New guy, just not into you, not seeing you as a potential husband.. who knows? What I know is that she broke up, and your "if you want me to" text reply really don't show any kind of balls. So she broke up? Good news, you're single. There is no point in hanging into her life anymore. That's only going to friendzone you, and certainly isn't going to turn her feelings for you around.
Author Ryan52 Posted October 7, 2014 Author Posted October 7, 2014 I went out last night with friends to the bars and bad fun. I made a snapchat story of my night and she saw it. Once she saw my night, she deleted me from snapchat. We are still facebook friends though. I don't get her...
johnson_j Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 What's there not to get? Either she has found a new guy, or just totally lost interest in you as anything other than a friend. The best thing you could do now would be to block her and move on with your life. The way you're acting she has no fear of truly losing you. Oh and that "dating in religion" line is a bunch of crap.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted October 7, 2014 Posted October 7, 2014 Rejection hurts, and that's what's going on. You're hurt, confused, and wondering what went wrong. Don't sweat it, you will eventually find someone new, And I bet you can even make her even happier too!
Stsm5934 Posted October 8, 2014 Posted October 8, 2014 She is not being honest with you. There is always time if you want to make time. I am in an extremely time demanding graduate program, I've stopped seeing guys and given them the same reason as she gave you before. I honestly meant it when I told those men that, but I realized later it was just that creating time was such a balancing act I needed to be extremely invested to make that decision. When someone came along who I was very invested in, I made the time.
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