movingonnow1 Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 And who cares how much time it takes to find someone else. The goal isn't to find someone quickly, it's to find the right person. Am I wrong? Agreed 100% about this. Don't stress about finding someone quickly. I don't think that is what you are trying to get across because I too have difficulty meeting someone new. Most women aren't overly concerned with sexual experience. She is using that as an excuse, and it's a rude one at that. Most women are more concerned with men who will make them feel secure in the relationship and accept them for who they are. My recent ex was a lot less sexually experienced than me, and it didn't bother me. Anyway, just don't want you to carry that burden around. I don't want you to go on thinking that you have a "problem" that makes you undateable. She might have been trying to tell you that she isn't as attracted to you as she once was, but she didn't want to come right out and say that. From the start, I have had a feeling that is what she meant, but I think it would be pretty difficult to say that to someone's face. Sometimes, people just loose that spark, and it's out of your control. The first boyfriend I ever had- I was very attracted to him. It was sort of a first love thing. I saw him a few years ago, and I could not imagine having sex with him. I just could not see him in that light anymore, and it's nothing you can control when that happens. For a relationship, you need both- a physical attraction and loving the person. You can have one without the other, but the relationship won't work. Sometimes, one or the other dies. When my ex broke up with me, I asked him if he had lost attraction for me, and he said he hadn't but that he didn't love me in the right way. Just know that it's something you can't control, and it's a mystery as to why we fall out of love just as much as why we fall in love with someone. I think that what is said here is really important. I'm not saying this to hurt you but she probably isn't that physically attracted to you. Although she must have given you tons of mixed messages in person and was all over you, it doesn't matter. In the end I'm glad to hear you are doing much better / putting yourself back on your own two feet.
Author lauri Posted October 2, 2014 Author Posted October 2, 2014 You know what, you're all right. I'm being silly. I'm not going to let this affect my negativly. Who cares what she thinks anyways...she doesn't deserve me even providing any emotions over this.
lolablue17 Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 About the SEX issue... 1. I've been with many women in my life. Some of them thought I'm the best sex they've ever had, and some thought that the sex with me was just average, and there were few that thought the sex with me was poor and i remember one who thought that sex with me was the worst.... SEX is a dual creation. It's not "a job" that one person should know how to do. 2. I've been with many kind of girls - athletics, actresses, models, extroverted, shy, dirty talkers, ect... And i can tell you one thing - the best sex i had was with the one's i truly loved!! The most conservative and "boring" sex can be much better than sex involves poses and fireworks - if you love her. 3. Only a girl with an evil soul can say to you things like that about the sex. because it's also her Half responsibility, and because it's like you say to a girl that she's fat (when she's trying diets) or that she is ugly! You need someone better. 1
Author lauri Posted October 3, 2014 Author Posted October 3, 2014 About the SEX issue... 1. I've been with many women in my life. Some of them thought I'm the best sex they've ever had, and some thought that the sex with me was just average, and there were few that thought the sex with me was poor and i remember one who thought that sex with me was the worst.... SEX is a dual creation. It's not "a job" that one person should know how to do. 2. I've been with many kind of girls - athletics, actresses, models, extroverted, shy, dirty talkers, ect... And i can tell you one thing - the best sex i had was with the one's i truly loved!! The most conservative and "boring" sex can be much better than sex involves poses and fireworks - if you love her. 3. Only a girl with an evil soul can say to you things like that about the sex. because it's also her Half responsibility, and because it's like you say to a girl that she's fat (when she's trying diets) or that she is ugly! You need someone better. Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better about it. It is a silly insecurity I have and I know that once I find an amazing good girl she won't care about me being inexperienced. Even if I do suck at the beginning, I will put in the effort to improve and figure out what the girl I end up with wants. 1
BC1980 Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better about it. It is a silly insecurity I have and I know that once I find an amazing good girl she won't care about me being inexperienced. Even if I do suck at the beginning, I will put in the effort to improve and figure out what the girl I end up with wants. You will be fine, but you have to take her "complaints" with a grain of salt. I fell into this same trap in my relationship and post breakup. My ex literally came up with a list of complaints about me that was outlandish and just plain mean. I took it to heart and judged myself based on what he thought. But he is just one person. He claimed I was lazy because I didn't get up at 6:00 on my days off work. I'm serious. That was one of his complaints. It was all silly, superficial stuff, and my self-esteem was about zero when the relationship ended. No one else had ever claimed I was lazy, but I took his complaint like it was the absolute truth. I could give you an entire list of ridiculous mess that he levied at me, and you would be shocked I loved this guy. What I'm trying to say is that you can't take what he said and judge your entire life on it. Don't give her that much power. You have an entire thread of people saying her reason of sexual inexperience is complete BS. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Yeah, you need to brush this off. The fact that she levied that complaint, one she knows is a sensitive subject to you, just shows how manipulative this woman is. She knows your pressure points and is willing to apply pressure on them to keep you in line with where she wants you to be. Don't allow her to do that. 2
me85 Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Everyday is another chance to turn it all around... It's a new day Lauri. Don't worry. Be happy. (= My ex doesn't love me or want to be with me. Your ex doesn't love you or want to be with you. But we're going to be just fine without them! They can only play games with us if we let them. 1
movingonnow1 Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 (edited) Exactly. I think her complaint was just to get under your skin and test you. I hope you laughed when she told you that and played it off like you didn't care, that would have hurt her ego a bit. I bet you all anything she just got out of something with someone who made her realize she made a mistake with him but she can't re develop her feelings for Lauri...and to be honest, its a good thing she can't because this forces him to not even consider being with her. All it does it force him to move forward and stay away from this b*tch (I hate calling women this but she really is one). Edited October 3, 2014 by movingonnow1
Author lauri Posted October 4, 2014 Author Posted October 4, 2014 Thanks everyone. I'm back on the NC train. I won't lie that I think about her from time to time but I was more hurt about her comments rather than being with her. I'd never take her back as she is clearly a horrible person. I appreciate you all taking the time to provide insights and comments that helped me through this small relapse. 1
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