woocky Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 Help, I am 24 and have been dating this girl for 3 1/2 years. We have been Living together for 2. I love her and do enjoy her company,we hardly ever fight, she would do anything for me, and does alot. She is a great girl. That is why I am so confused, cause she is so great, but then why do I feel this way? How do I know she is the one. Is what I am feeling towards her a friendship love only. I don't really find her that attractive anymore, is this normal after being together for that long. We have sex like once every 2 or three month, mainly because I am just not interested. Is lack of attraction good enough reason to break up. She was also my first serious girlfriend and I didn't date much. For the past year or so I have been contemplating breaking it off but talking myself out of it for fear of being alone. I know she would take it VERY hard, but that isn't a reason to stay in. I find myself being very attracted to other girls and imagine what it would be like having a relationship with them. I know everyone is always attracted to the opposite sex even after married. Is this the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence syndrom? Could my feelings be the result of lack of dating, and I truely love her? Please help I am so confused. I don't want to waist any more of her or my time if it isn't going to last.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 As painful as it is, you'll have to be truthful with her - you don't have to be mean about it, but she needs to know how you feel and then she can be part of the decision making process in terms of the future of your relationship as well. I expect that if you decide to break up, it will be less painful for you both in the long run to move on to other partners with whom you share mutual desire and attraction.
The_Fool Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 Yes, lack of attraction is a good enough reason for breaking up. And, sometimes, attraction does die down over time. People change, sometimes it not-very-good ways. Talking yourself into staying because you're afraid of being alone is, quite frankly, a ****ty reason to stay (though I suspect most people have done that at some point--I know I have.) Talk to her and be completely honest. You both deserve much better than what you're getting out of her. It will be painful, but the longer you wait the more painful it will be. In the end, I think you'll both be better off.
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