zuir1 Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 Me and my GF broke up 7 weeks ago. We were going out for 2 years and we were perfect. We never had an argument about anything. If we got upset at the other it would be for only 2 min and then we'd be allover each other. But then in Nov of 2004 I started to treat her different by not paying as much attention for her and yelling at her. but it was only playing and she knew that she would do the same. Her friends would say are you gonna let him treat you that way? But she would tell them I was playing. I also told her in Nov that I kissed another girl at a club in the beginning of our relationship and felt guilty about it. She got very upset over that. But she seemed fine a while later. Then in Nov I brought her a ring since it was our 2yr anniversity. I thought we were gonna be fine and together forever. But then like i said i changed and in January I noticed problems. She acted different all the time. Like how she would talk to me and she wouldnt kiss me as much and she would sit in the front of a car if we were riding together telling me she liked the front. Never in 2yrs had we been like that we would do ANYTHING just to be next to eachother. Jus to be near made us happy. Eventually she told me the problem that i wasnt the same and stuff. After a while I noticed and i tried everything to be with her. But then she said she needed space. I asked how? Not to call? not to walk you to classes? not to see u as much? She said she still wanted all that but she wanted space.....I was confused and kept trying. She seemed ok some times but the kissing i didnt feel anything in them anymore. Her friend told me that when i was going up to her that she would be like of god hes smothering me but then ill show up and shed be like oh hey! and act happy. Well this went on for a while. Eventually we broke up in late January. I told her that it was over. "were done" I meant it only as it was over because she told me i tried to hard in the relationship and she said she felt she wasnt tryinf hard enough. I explained to her what I meant but she said no its over then.....Well I went crazy...LOL the girl of my dreams gone. But anyway 2 days later I find out she kissed this guy at a party. I got mad and blew up on her the following tuesday. Didnt make things better. She told her friends if I wouldnt have done that She would be back with me. Then a few weeks later theres a dance. We dont go together but I rent a hotel room and make it romantic. My intentions were good and she knew it. I wasnt trying anything. But I said more stupid stuff and got her upset. Then she tells her friends if i was ok she wouldve been back with me. Well I mess up 1 more time and the same thing happens. I keep trying different things. But nothing has worked! Im best friends with her best friend and she talks to her for me and i listen in on the other line. She says that she loves me, never gonna stop caring for me, im her first love, we shared so much shell never forget me, (oh and there is no one else involved, like another guy no) and she wishes she was with me but she doesnt know why she doesnt think its gonna work out. She doesnt know why she doesnt wanna try. Then she says she can see us getting married and having kids with a family, but still doesnt know why shes not trying. She is very confusing. People have told me to give her COMPLETE SPACE! no contact whatsoever and she'll miss me and come back if its meant to be. But we have been thru so much and i know if its not meant to be then its not meant to be. But my biggest fear is she's gonna be happy and say "you know what I really dont need him" she has seen me cry alot and be depressed. She says she wants her space and im gonna give her ABSOLUTE SPACE. Then i found out she gets jealous when she hears im with another girl or anything similar to that. Not dating just like if a girl likes me and were flirting. So I was thinking me and my friend have made up a girl and said she kissed me the other day. My ex said "WHAT!" when she found out but not to me we barely ever talk anymore. im gonna be hanging out with her alot, like tonight im supposedly at a movie with her (the fake girl) while all my friends and my ex are out. I know there gonna ask 4 me and my friend is gonna tell them im out at the movies. I know my ex will start wondering and get jealous. I was gonna do this for about a week in a half and act happy. Then on the 25th of march which is a full moon i was gonna take my ex on a walk on the beach since its a full moon without her knowing and surprising her. Hoping she realizes that its a mistake to lose me. Cause yes i have messed up alot but besides that I treated her like a god. I gave her every little thing she wanted and was always there for her. Everyone says how dumb she is and that she is not worth my time to move on. But shes all i think about and i have done everything to forget her for 7 weeks! And she has changed into a completely new person. Now I ask help by a few things. 1)Can I have a list of things u ppl think i should or should not do 2)If she still loves me and says it, but if confused and all that dumb stuff is there a good chance we can be together again? 3)Am i doing everything for nothing? 4)Will making her jealous to a point help at all? 5)What should I do? 6)Will taking her out on the 25th help? 7)If we were together every second in the past does that increase my chances if were not? and i shes used to getting everything she wants like companionship and possesions? 8)Will ignoring her COMPLETELY really make her miss me or not? 9)Can you ppl give me your opinion? 10)I know she loves me and I was her 1st true love and she lost her virginity to me as well as me to her....does that make our bond stronger and our chances together better? 11)she has said it herself she is being stubborn and doesnt know why? Do you all think you know why? if so explain. 12)What does "I still love him and wanna be with him, but I dont know" mean? 13)PLEASE SOMEONE HELP I AM LOST WITHOUT HER AND I KNOW I CANT GIVE UP!!
westernxer Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 The first breakup is always the hardest, that's for sure. Follow your friends' advice and give her space. You sound very young... go out and meet other girls and hang out with friends. If she gets jealous, so what. I know it's gonna be hard for you, since you lost your virginity to each other, but don't throw away your youth on just one person. Your obsession is getting the best of you... do you like feeling helpless? Acting like a lost puppy will only make you look like a fool. She'll respect you more if you act confident, and she'll definitely get jealous when she sees you doing your own thing. So do it already. Start hanging out with other people, and meet new girls. It's too early in life for you to settle for one person.
Author zuir1 Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Its just some girls are so confusing. She always contradicts herself saying she wants to be with me and she loves me but cant see us getting back together! I have been trying to meet new people but everytime I'm with someone new or try to be close to someone she pops in my head. I know I can find a girl who I can do stuff with but that wouldnt be involving love. Then i can find a girl who says she wants to be with me and what 6 months later were broken up? I know Id have to give one a try but summer is around the corner and the chances after I graduate being with someone I have been going out with only a few months is extremely low. I want a companion and like I said I know im young (17) and thats gonna be extremely hard, but I dont know anymore. Like tonight I went out with friends and she was with us. I acted all happy and joked around alot. We didnt talk but then when I was flirting with her friend she looked jealous....yet when she first noticed I was there she asked what I was doing there.....WTH! Then how she says she wants us together but she doesnt see it happening yet she wants it!!! AHHH!!! CRAZY!!! I have been trying so hard to move on for so long now. But nothing is working! NOTHING! i eat more, work out more, go out more, meet new people, but nothing is working! NOTHING! Is this the price one pays for loving someone so much? I know theres plenty of people out there but everyday i wanna have hope cause she still cares and I know she wants to be with me but something is stopping her, and the other half i saying, you fool! Its never gonna happen again let her go. AND I HAVE TRIED!! WHAT ELSE CAN I DO!? Is there any hope of us again? Should I give up completely? Its hard enough ignoring her at school, or trying to get by. But damn shes gorgeous and when i look at another girl i think, wow shes pretty and thats it! nothing else. I try to think wow i wanna do stuff with her but nothing ever comes to mind. I need to get over her and ive tried! damn her...lol someone help
westernxer Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Its just some girls are so confusing. She always contradicts herself saying she wants to be with me and she loves me but cant see us getting back together! Forget about what they say. Talk is cheap. Young girls like that are completely devoid of logic. If you spend time trying to figure her out, you're going to end up just like her. Don't fall into that trap. I've known guys who used to do that, and it got them nowhere. Hell, some guys still do that now... guess they'll never learn. You don't have to give up... just move on to something else. So what if you break her heart? She's already broken yours, but she's messing with your mind on top of it. She's just buying time until she has enough courage to administer the kiss of death. So move on. Doesn't mean you need to go steady with someone else. Just meet other girls and get an idea of what else is out there. Take a little pride in yourself and show some confidence. Don't even hang out with her in a group. Break it off completely. Trust me on this one, man. I've been where you are now. If only you could see things from up here... But that's life, and sometimes we have to learn the hard way.
Author zuir1 Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 fine i will try more to move on and see whats out there. But should I still do my plan for the 25th of March? And if so is there a chance it might make things better?
westernxer Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Think of it in these terms: There is no 25th of March, at least not for you two. Have a 25th with someone else. To answer your other question... no, it won't make things better.
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