triniechu Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 You need to really love yourself first before loving anyone else. It's the only way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bella2 Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 I have a great fear of dieing alone. I wasn't worried about this before I had my daughter. Now that my ex has left me for someone new, I'm terrified of being alone. I'm afraid that I'll never find someone who loves me. Every girl I meet just wants to be friends with me. I know some people don't mind being alone but I don't and have never have I understand. I'm struggling with this "being alone" too. It seems it's something you can learn to adapt to. But as with everything, it takes time. It's only been 4 months for you, and you're only 24! What do you do when you by yourself? And stop chasing women. You're in no mental state to start a new relationship. (which is true for me too) When you ARE in the right mental state, that's the moment to maybe hook up with somebody. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cupid's Puppet Posted October 3, 2014 Share Posted October 3, 2014 Do you really understand the odds of you going the rest of your life alone? So you think if you lived 50 more years you will never ever find another person to spend the rest of your life with? The odds of that happening are so ridiculously low for your age. The only way I can see that happening is if you live the rest of your life as a hermit. It is the rejection that is getting to you, and rejection can be one bad mutha... I was rejected over 400 times when I was trying to find a job and that is no exaggeration. But what kept me living is the little hope that after so many no's, that'll be one yes. And that's the way you have to think. The no's won't come forever. I think that experience in life is helping me survive my own breakup. But to put it in perspective, we're all being rejected daily. It's not like every person who meets us wants to be with us. Each day we get rejected indirectly. Even when we were in relationships, someone looked at us and then looked the other way. We've been getting rejected our whole life. Perspective 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pappa k Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 I understand. I'm struggling with this "being alone" too. It seems it's something you can learn to adapt to. But as with everything, it takes time. It's only been 4 months for you, and you're only 24! What do you do when you by yourself? And stop chasing women. You're in no mental state to start a new relationship. (which is true for me too) When you ARE in the right mental state, that's the moment to maybe hook up with somebody. I'm 25 currently and when I'm not with my daughter all I do is drink either by myself or with friends. When I drink alone I look up ways to kill myself and cry myself to sleep. When I'm with friends half way through the night I get really depressed so I just go home and go to bed and wake up the next day feeling worse Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Charlemange Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I have a great fear of dieing alone. I wasn't worried about this before I had my daughter. Now that my ex has left me for someone new, I'm terrified of being alone. I'm afraid that I'll never find someone who loves me. Every girl I meet just wants to be friends with me. I know some people don't mind being alone but I don't and have never have You're not alone. You have a child. Someone to look up to you as you get older, and be there for you when your time comes. Not everyone even has that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pappa k Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 I get that but it isn't the same as having a significant other Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Charlemange Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I get that but it isn't the same as having a significant other No, it's not. But you'll probably not "die alone." And you're what, 25? You really think in 50 years you're never going to meet someone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pappa k Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 I don't want to live another 50 years feeling like this all I did today after work is drink and cry. I can't do this much longer Link to post Share on other sites
LakersFan81 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I don't want to live another 50 years feeling like this all I did today after work is drink and cry. I can't do this much longer No offense, but you sound pathetic. I am the same age as you, and depressed over my GF of over 5 years dumping me. She was the girl I wanted to marry, and was my best friend. It's hard to get out of bed some days, but I suck it up and do. Stop drinking. I know the feelings you're going through. I know the self doubts you have that you will be alone forever. Both of us are going through the same thing just like everyone else on here, and we gotta keep the faith that things will get better. You have a daughter that needs you. That is a blessing. I am at the age where I would like to have a kid soon, and wanted to have one with my ex. She is a blessing to you. I was doing good for a while, but sulked back into depression the last couple days. The thing that keeps me going is knowing things can only get better from this point on. Keep the faith. We are gonna make it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LakersFan81 Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 It's also been 4 months for me. It sounds like our situations are pretty similar. I am really lonely too, but most people have to go through this in their lives at least once, and they get through it. The worst part I struggle with is self doubts. I try to stay positive, but I have self doubts that I will never find anyone like her, anyone as attractive as she was, anyone that I considered my best friend like I did her, etc, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pappa k Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 I don't see myself meeting someone again. I have terrible luck with women. I'm not happy at all with life. Link to post Share on other sites
Kid_Charlemange Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I don't see myself meeting someone again. I have terrible luck with women. I'm not happy at all with life. Yeah, that comes across in your posts. I kind of get where you are coming from, but it's a bit of a chicken and an egg. You're never going to meet anyone in your current state; the biggest turn off a woman can experience, from what I've seen, is a lack of self-confidence. It instantly destroys any attraction. Sure, there are exceptions, some people are caretakers or "fixers," but they're rare. You gotta get your own **** together before you even try to find someone to be in your life. Dating now is just going to result in more rejection which is going to make you feel worse. Trust me on this. I've been where you are. I'm not actually that far away from where you are, but I worked on myself before I started trying to meet someone. Long view, dude. This is not something you can fix overnight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I don't see myself meeting someone again. I have terrible luck with women. I'm not happy at all with life. My friend, you're a young 25. Put that into perspective. Some of us geezers here have been where you are. Rejection from the opposite sex hurts but it's part of the dating process. Eventually, you'll meet another woman who you are compatible with and the relationship will last, and possibly be the one you want to marry. Never say never. Plus, you're a dad. Be proud of that fact! As Kid said, you have a child who views you as a role model. How lucky you are to have someone in your life like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pappa k Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 My kid wants nothing to do with me anymore. My life has been terrible since May. I've had alcohol poisoning 3 times 5 months. I keep trying to drink myself to death because I'm so unhappy with everything. I have nothing to offer a woman. I want to give up . My friends don't care. My parents don't understand. My ex hates me and tried having her boyfriend and some friends beat me up at the bar. I don't see a point in continuing Link to post Share on other sites
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