lildrummergirl Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Okay so my brother just turned 21 a few months ago and a women in her early thirties started talking to him online. She knew his age but he didn't know hers. Once he found out it didn't really phase him but my family and I are a bit concerned. She seems to think he must be more mature than he really is but he hangs around with people younger than him and doesn't work (mostly just goes to school and plays video games). I'm just very suspicious of her since it doesn't seem to bother her that's he's so much younger. I usually don't think age matters but he's never talked to girls that much older than him. We try to tell him that there will be a huge gap in maturity but he thinks he can handle it. We can't tell him what to do but I don't think he knows what he is getting into. Does this spell trouble to anyone else? He is not that mature for his age and I know women mature much faster than men. Please help!
LoneIsland Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 He would be getting a second mother. Could work for someone who isn't mature.
Maleficent Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Okay so my brother just turned 21 a few months ago and a women in her early thirties started talking to him online. She knew his age but he didn't know hers. Once he found out it didn't really phase him but my family and I are a bit concerned. She seems to think he must be more mature than he really is but he hangs around with people younger than him and doesn't work (mostly just goes to school and plays video games). I'm just very suspicious of her since it doesn't seem to bother her that's he's so much younger. I usually don't think age matters but he's never talked to girls that much older than him. We try to tell him that there will be a huge gap in maturity but he thinks he can handle it. We can't tell him what to do but I don't think he knows what he is getting into. Does this spell trouble to anyone else? He is not that mature for his age and I know women mature much faster than men. Please help! Not all older women are mature. Im kind of a cougar myself and maybe one day I will date a man 10 years younger than me but I'm 33 and right now that means dating a 23 year old - which is out of the question for maturity reasons. Maybe when I'm 40 I'll have 30 year-old boyfriend I find 21-31 years old too big of a difference in maturity. However, I would question the woman's maturity first... 1
Tayken Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 @OP......We are only talking a 10 yr age gap here. However, the problem lies with the category and not so much the gap. 20s aren't mostly that matured, and many will do dumb things like kiss and tell / blab about it, or just for a dare. When you move up in category to say 30s and 40 i.e 31 and a 41 yr old, things might slightly be better..you hope. That said, you can't help but wonder the following seems to be happening a lot these days Lauren Harrington-Cooper jailed for having sex with 2 students and flashing a third | Daily Mail Online 2 teachers at same school ?have sex with student? Caught having sex with 5 students on camera, and going down on one of them Teacher caught on video having sex with student, prosecutor says | NJ.com Teacher Victoria Tatum arrested for 'sex with a 15-year-old male student' | Daily Mail Online 1
mammasita Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 I'd be suspicious too especially if he's being completely honest with her about what he does in his spare time. Conversely, I'm 38 and my BF just turned 31.....so it's feasable later in life but in his case, nah. 1
Diezel Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Let him learn valuable life lessons on his own. You can't protect him forever. I love how your statement seemingly contradicts itself though... if women mature much faster, than why is a mature 31 year-old woman seeking the company of a 21-year old "boy"? 1
Supernatural Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Let him bask in all of this glory. It was one of my greatest experiences in my early twenties. I was 20, she was 30. Taught me a lot. Love older women. 1
cif Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Don't be too worried unless he starts talking marriage which i doubt will happen. Could be a maturing experience for him. Were you the one that ratted to the parents or he told them?
Dork Vader Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 When I was 18 I dated a woman that was 32. When I was 21 I dated a woman that was 47. It was fun but the age difference was clear. While we had a good time we were both at different points in life. We also had little in common music and tv wise. The odds of it lasting long are slim. If it does be happy for him. I have a cousin that married a woman 17 years older then him. She literally saved his life. They have been married 32 years now. But he was a partier and in all sorts of trouble, she straightened him out. They could not be a happier couple. So long as it's a healthy relationship that is what's important.
gaius Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 He's young and he needs to explore and try new things, find out what works for him and what doesn't. Just be happy because there are a billion things worse he could be drawn to than a woman who's older than him. 2
Gloria25 Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 When I was 18 I dated a woman that was 32. When I was 21 I dated a woman that was 47. It was fun but the age difference was clear. While we had a good time we were both at different points in life. We also had little in common music and tv wise. The odds of it lasting long are slim. If it does be happy for him. I have a cousin that married a woman 17 years older then him. She literally saved his life. They have been married 32 years now. But he was a partier and in all sorts of trouble, she straightened him out. They could not be a happier couple. So long as it's a healthy relationship that is what's important. Yeah, if he can handle it, then I guess he'll have his fun...But, the problem lies if he starts falling all in love with her and/or she's a manipulator and will tie him down with kids and/or drama.
jen_r Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 I just turned 30 last month and my bf is 22. We've been dating for a year and the age thing isn't even an issue with us. All of his friends are my age so, I always just assume he's at least 25-26. As far as long term...i dunno. But it's fun right now! 1
Emilia Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 Last time I checked a 21 year-old was an adult. To put it bluntly OP: it's none of your business. 1
Darren2013 Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 @OP......We are only talking a 10 yr age gap here. However, the problem lies with the category and not so much the gap. 20s aren't mostly that matured, and many will do dumb things like kiss and tell / blab about it, or just for a dare. When you move up in category to say 30s and 40 i.e 31 and a 41 yr old, things might slightly be better..you hope. That said, you can't help but wonder the following seems to be happening a lot these days Lauren Harrington-Cooper jailed for having sex with 2 students and flashing a third | Daily Mail Online 2 teachers at same school ?have sex with student? Caught having sex with 5 students on camera, and going down on one of them Teacher caught on video having sex with student, prosecutor says | NJ.com Teacher Victoria Tatum arrested for 'sex with a 15-year-old male student' | Daily Mail Online I disagree with the law. While I agree with it being illegal for older men to sleep with teenage girls I think it should be legal for an older woman to sleep with a teenage boy. The law shouldn't be as strict on older women who sleep with teenage boys. When I was a teenager I would have given anything for the opportunity to be molested by some of my female teachers.
Gaeta Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 Yeah, if he can handle it, then I guess he'll have his fun...But, the problem lies if he starts falling all in love with her and/or she's a manipulator and will tie him down with kids and/or drama. That happens to people of all ages.
Gaeta Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 I remember when my youngest brother was 23 and he started dating a woman of 36 we were horrified. They dated 6 months filled with drama and he ended it. He was heart broken, he got over it, and went on dating 50 other women before he found his now wife. You cannot prevent your brother from experiencing life. I am in my 40s and still hit and miss, fall down and get back up. Life is a never ending learning experience.
cif Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 I disagree with the law. While I agree with it being illegal for older men to sleep with teenage girls I think it should be legal for an older woman to sleep with a teenage boy. The law shouldn't be as strict on older women who sleep with teenage boys. When I was a teenager I would have given anything for the opportunity to be molested by some of my female teachers. You just said that out loud. Besides the yuck factor, women easily manipulate grown men.. imagine what we would do to teenagers?
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