xxAH24bx Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 My fiancee ended our engagement after a 1 1/2 year relationship . Some background on our relationship we met while I was separated from my 1st wife. My marriage was over with my wife when we met and I was beginning the divorce proceedings. This woman stood by me during the divorce process and during a brief hospitalization . For 14 months we had a terrific relationship and loved one another very much . We both have kids, I have 3 and she has 1. Thirteen months into the relationship I asked this woman for her hand in marriage and gave her the proposal and ring that she always dreamed about . Things were incredible in the relationship until I was told that another guy was talking to my fiancee via cell a couple weeks after our engagement. I blew this off until I was told a second time a little over a month after our engagement. She told me about all of her friends male & female except for this guy who is married. I also told her about all of my friends female & male. We were planning a destination wedding just her & I at the beginning of 2014. Because of the above and to allow her more time with my kids post divorce I asked her that we wait until the Spring or Summer of 2014 to get married and she was fine with that at the time. I also blew off discussing finances a month after our engagement because of the above. How do you confront your fiancee about this situation? The woman I loved at the time more than life. Being a man, I monitored our cell phone records for 3 months before confronting her which I now realize was a huge life mistake since we wanted to get married at the beginning of 2014. Because I didn't confront her immediately (he was just a friend I found out) about the above and since we didn't get married at the beginning of 2014 (this crushed her) she ended our relationship. This woman along with her child I loved very much and they loved me. After confronting her I gave us every opportunity to move forward with our engagement and marriage but she ended it. Yes I have been trying to get her back via text and phone calls which I know was wrong but I was fighting for us. I stopped because I'm now blocked and I'm moving on. This has been the hardest thing I have ever been through because she was "the one" and I learned a life lesson. Has anyone been through something similar? I appreciate everyone's support on this forum.
Ecko08 Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 My fiancé ended engagement & 6 year relationship just a week and a half ago. Sh-t is devastating, man. Found out she had been carrying on a relationship since early August. I asked her last year to marry me but couldn't afford the ring until this past summer (times have been tough, financially), which I got in July. I've been holding onto it for months waiting for the perfect time to give it to her (because of finances and housing problems, she went to stay with her parents in FL while I stayed in NY to work my ass off and sleep on a couch for months straight). I found out and she said she was going to end it with the guy and she hoped to wear the ring one day and she needed to come back. I said I'll get you back but we're going to have to work on things and she obliged. The next day I found out she was back with the guy. She didn't respond that night at all (the 19th) and I just assume she blocked my number and I fear if I keep trying I will get the police called or something. Who knows. I sure as hell don't know what to do. I fought and fought and fought for what I loved but to no avail.
Author xxAH24bx Posted September 30, 2014 Author Posted September 30, 2014 Wow a 6 year relationship, in different cities, you're working your ass off and she was carrying on a relationship with another guy Ecko08 that sucks. My ex-fiancee works full time and is also a full time college student. We didn't live together because I did that out of respect for her child and she appreciated that from me. I was a huge supporter of her career goals and gave her all the time she needed to complete her college school work. I made the mistake of not confronting her immediately about the guy she was talking with. She told me that she didn't tell me about him because she was afraid I would put my foot down and not allow her to talk with him any longer (he is married). I would never do that and I should have never had to confront her about this other guy "her friend" and we would be happily married right now. Women why do hide male friends from us? As you can tell from my post I loved this woman and child very much but struggled on how to confront her about this. Tomorrow will be 6 months since our engagement and relationship ended. I have given up on trying to win her back, she will realize what she has lost at some point.
tobrieornottobrie Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 Sometimes things happen for a reason but I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting. I hope things get better for you, xxAH24bx!
Author xxAH24bx Posted October 3, 2014 Author Posted October 3, 2014 Thanks tobrieornottobrie! Would appreciate some responses from women to this question. Why do you hide male friends from us?
Author xxAH24bx Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 (edited) My ex Fiancee contacted me last night 7 months post breakup (see my previous post below). During these 7 months we have had very limited contact. She was the dumper and stated that she is still hurting over the breakup and it kills her that she hurt me. I let her talk and she opened up her heart about our entire relationship. We both discussed where we made mistakes in the relationship and I even told her how I could correct mine. Never once did I say "I want you back" or "I still love you", I let her talk. She even told me she could have started 3 new potential relationships during this time but couldn't. At the end of our conversation I told her to contact me if she wants to talk more. Can you tell me what she might be thinking? As you can tell from my previous post I absolutely loved this woman. I'm 45 and she is 41 in case you're wondering. Edited October 27, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
M30USA Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 It's pretty clear that she just wanted to know if she can still have you if she wanted. But she doesn't. This happens all the time. I'm sorry to say you are a backup option for her. Just play it cool next time, if you choose to even talk again, and let her do the talking. 1
Arieswoman Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 xxAH24BX, Why are you even talking to this women? She dumped you, she chose not to be with you,and even went so far as to block you, remember? At the end of our conversation I told her to contact me if she wants to talk more. Why would you want to feed her ego and torment yourself some more? Ask yourself why she would suddenly call you out of the blue? I will bet you any money she just been dumped by some guy and is using you as an emotional backstop. Please, please do not let her pull your strings any more. Good luck 1
Author xxAH24bx Posted October 27, 2014 Author Posted October 27, 2014 M30USA & Arieswoman, I'm thinking the same thing. She has been texting me today stating she made a mistake, wants to talk more and never stopped loving me. She also left me a voicemail!!!! I also received some texts from a girlfriend of hers stating the same thing about what she wants. Haven't responded at all but my feelings for her and her son never went away but I haven't told her that yet.
CaliBabe Posted October 27, 2014 Posted October 27, 2014 Apparently something happened within this time... Possible rebound didn't work out? She treated you like a second citizen and I would not let that slide. Make her sweat and think about what you truly want. She is capable of leaving you... She could do it again. Are you prepared for that? 2
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