banini_jeque Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 You break up and the dumper wants to be friends. You do too, but it isn't enough. Some say that with enough time to heal it could work. But what if even then it still isn't enough? How sad would that be, that two people who ounces loved each other so much, and never fought or argued or anything could never associate with each other again because it would never be enough for one of them to only be friends?
littleblacksubmarine Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 It is possible, but you have to cut them out of your life first and then reconnect when you have resolved those feelings. It will be enough but I doubt you'll ever be as close anymore.
me85 Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 It is sad but over time you accept it. It's very rare that BUs happen mutually. One is usually always wanting it to work more than the other. The way I see it, they proved they can neither be a lover nor a friend to you when they exited your life. "but they don't want to exit my life they wish to still be friends and talk and hang out occasionally..." but see, once you've gone so far with someone, there's no going back. It's either all or nothing at that point. Only if years have passed and ill feelings are gone and there are zero expectations of one another, then, maybe.
d0nnivain Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 You can be friendly but it takes a while. In the immediate aftermath it's not enough because there is no kissing, sex etc.
BC1980 Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 You break up and the dumper wants to be friends. You do too, but it isn't enough. Some say that with enough time to heal it could work. But what if even then it still isn't enough? How sad would that be, that two people who ounces loved each other so much, and never fought or argued or anything could never associate with each other again because it would never be enough for one of them to only be friends? But yet it happens all the time. How many people do you know who are genuine friends after a breakup? I'm not talking about acquaintances or people who are civil with one another due to having kids together, working together, or something of that nature. I think it would be so difficult to be close friends even later in life when you had no want to reconcile. By the time you are indifferent, your life has changed. Usually, people move on and find someone else, and it's not appropriate to be best buds with an ex if you are in another relationship. So it just doesn't work, but it's something you accept over time. 2
mightycpa Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) After a while, it isn't so sad anymore. At some point, I suppose the sadness that you feel being apart will trump the disappointment of not being more than just friends, and then you can be friends. However, if you stay apart long enough, that won't happen. DONE will take over and become the norm. It's not the worst thing in the world, although it may seem like it now. It's just a mild sadness. You'll be able to live with it. Edited September 29, 2014 by mightycpa
Author banini_jeque Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 What about these situations where it's like, "no, I can't be just your friend. That's too hard. You're not allowed to be in my life unless you want to work things out with me and see if we can make it work." It's like, it seems like that makes sense on some levels, but not on others. It feels like telling them they're only important to you as a romantic interest and not as a friend. But really it's not that simple.
guest569 Posted October 5, 2014 Posted October 5, 2014 I believe it is possible if you had a very brief relationship and weren't that close. I dont think i could ever settle for friendship with someone i am in love with, its better to part ways. It's not saying he is not important to me as a friend, he is very dear to me. But it is too painful to be in his company.
Author banini_jeque Posted October 5, 2014 Author Posted October 5, 2014 Yeah, I guess that's how I feel. It was a short relationship, but we grew very close during that time and leading up to it over a period of three years. To go from that to only a friendship just ends up feeling like a constant reminder that I failed to keep her interested, even if it's something that I can't control that caused that. There's a sudden thought too, is that the attempted friendship for me mostly only served as a reminder of the failed relationship. There wasn't anything about it that reminded me of how important I actually was to her, just how I wasn't important enough to be her boyfriend anymore. 1
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