Justm3x Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Im really struggling today, I dreamt about him again last night and i woke up in tears. I keep checking his viber to see if hes online and killing myself that he's probably talking to her. I feel so sad that someone can affect me this way. Ive always been such a strong person but this man has destroyed me. I hate him so much, but i love him with all my heart but i cant tell him. 6 months on and im no nearer getting over him, i just want this hurting to end. I know he's not thinking of me and people are saying " WTF move on " but its not that simple. I cant tell anyone how im feeling as they all hate him for what he's done to me. I use to talk to my daughters but I don't want them knowing how much im hurting. I took my daughter back to Uni yesterday, with my older daughter and we drove to Sheffield, we played Arctic Monkeys in the car and we all sang, he loved the Arctic Monkeys and he would sing at the top of his voice all those memories of me and him taking her there came flooding back, i tried so hard to hold back the tears. I feel drained today and so down, the only way i know how to cope is writing down my feelings on here.
Reels Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 It is not even rare, but usually happens when you are missing something. 1
me85 Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) I'm sorry. I know just how you feel. It's been 14 months since my BU and I'm still not fully passed the hurt. Though I'm miles further than I started form. You'll get there. I don't talk to my ex to anyone either. For 2 reasons, people got tired of hearing it then I finally got tired of hearing it. LOL I realized that I've been long over him, just not over the pain he caused me. I'm afraid it will always hurt. Despite that lingering irritable feeling, I am overall happy in life. I'm certainly much happier now without him. He was a liar/cheater/abuser...just awful to me. I am so much better off and actually thankful he exited my life. I would've continued to waste my love on him for years and years, probably. That's how foolish I was for him. You're not alone. Just last night, while playing a video game, I cried a little and thought to myself, "I hate how every single thing still reminds me of you." (I'm also about to start my period...that's really the only reason for my feeling that way, or so I tell myself. haha) 6 months is nothing. Especially when you fell so hard in love with someone. The lesson is, we need to always love ourselves more. Edited September 29, 2014 by me85 1
Day.One Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 I feel drained today and so down, the only way i know how to cope is writing down my feelings on here. And that's what this place is for. We're (most of us anyway) in a similar situation, with similar emotions and feelings. I can't think of a better place to let it go. 1
Strength in Healing Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) Ive always been such a strong person but this man has destroyed me. I hate him so much, but i love him with all my heart but i cant tell him. No he didn't. You alone have that power over yourself. And you need to recognize that you're still "keeping tabs" on him per se. That is DRASTICALLY prolonging your healing. You keep checking that viber for him, etc, then you'll be on here in another 12 months saying how you still haven't healed and it's been a year and a half. Control your destiny. If you're on the highway and decide to stop steering, then it's no surprise that the car will veer off and crash. Edited September 29, 2014 by Strength in Healing 1
Day.One Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Has anyone mentioned the 180 plan to you yet? Might not be the solution, but also might be worth looking at.
Strength in Healing Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Has anyone mentioned the 180 plan to you yet? Might not be the solution, but also might be worth looking at. Aka no contact lol
Day.One Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Aka no contact lol It's a bit more than that, but yes, that's one of the goals.
Author Justm3x Posted September 29, 2014 Author Posted September 29, 2014 I think that not speaking at all when we BU has hit me hard. When i tested him and said it was over he deleted me from his life so quickly, within an hour i was gone, blocked email, blocked phone, i never got to say what i wanted. He took the easy way out and i did him a favour. I only realised he was having an affair when i realised i was blocked and went onto Viber to contact him and there i saw the picture of him and his gf.... with him in the Caribbean, I was stunned and so upset. How can someone do this to someone you've been with for 7 years, someone who has done nothing bit care and love you... i was the only one who cared when he hit rock bottom and i was the one who slowly put his life back together... i feel used and that i was just a mean to an end..... i feel so hurt.
Strength in Healing Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) How can someone do this to someone you've been with for 7 years, someone who has done nothing bit care and love you... i was the only one who cared when he hit rock bottom and i was the one who slowly put his life back together... i feel used and that i was just a mean to an end..... i feel so hurt. Come on, you need to align yourself with reality. Who's loss is it here? You have a heart, notice how you care and he doesn't? That means you are the one capable of love. His relationships are doomed. Edited September 29, 2014 by Strength in Healing 1
Author Justm3x Posted September 29, 2014 Author Posted September 29, 2014 Come on, you need to align yourself with reality. Who's loss is it here? You have a heart, notice how you care and he doesn't? That means you are the one capable of love. His relationships are doomed. I know your so right.... i do have a heart and i am a caring person, he isn't and never will be. I hope that woman realises she didn't win him, because he will do the same to her when he's had enough.... 1
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