Adam27 Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Hi I need some advice and i'll try and keep it as short as I can. its in two parts. Part 1. I've (sort of)started seeing this girl .She's used to go out with a friend of a friend who I know but I cant say i'm friends with for 5 years and they broke up about 4 months ago. I've met her briefly in the past once or twice at my friends parties and a poker game and I'm really good Friends with her ex boyfriends college mates. I don't know if i'm violating some sort of code here. but i like spending time with her and I never tried anything when they were together . this sort of just happened. PART 2. We've been on a few dates and had a really good time. feelings seem pretty mutual. This weekend she asked to hangout , she came over to my office met a few of the guys hung out and had a few drinks then took me to a party where I met a few of her friends we had a good time and went home ( separately ). the next day she asks me out to another party where i meet even more friends and they're grilling me about her and us and all the usual stuff. its fun we leave .. she asks me to come over to hers. this is where it gets odd. just before we get there she starts saying shes having a really good time and she likes me but shes getting out of a new relationship and isn't ready for anything (we're both quite drunk at this point). I say its fine I understand and I wont force her into anything or rush it. but i make it clear that i do like her. so we go back to hers and we sleep together. In the morning it comes she explains that the break up was mutual and shes still dealing with it but what we have is great and she hasn't been with anyone else in 4 months and this is the first time she's 'dated' in 5 years and its great ( i'm not sure what that means). she also says she doesn't want to stop seeing me. and we sort of leave it there thing is I do like her and everything points to dating. I wasn't looking for anything serious either just to see how it went and if we got to that point .. it would be nice to know that something more is a possibility. but I don't know if i should just back off now or carry on and keep things casual and give her time ... any advice / comment will be appreciated
Emilia Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Well, people will most likely tell you here that if she expresses anything ambigious instead of her undying love for you, she only wants an FWB or is seeing other people and variations of that BS. I'd say she was out of the game for 5 years (that's what she meant by saying that you are her first date during that period) and she needs to take it a little slower rather than jump into something full on straight away. Clearly she likes you and she doesn't want to get carried away. It's possible that it won't work out but my personal experience is that at the intial stages people handle dating in different ways, not always consistently and unambigiously, especially if they are not hugely experienced. That's usually a good thing because it means they are not serial daters. I would keep seeing her and try to keep things steady and level.
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