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Slept over, no sex- will I hear from him again?


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Posted (edited)

Met this guy from a dating site (he's 36 i'm 26). We had 4 dates so far. Each date he was the one who suggested/asked to hang out again. Date 1 Dinner at a nice restaurant and then a cafe after. Date 2 Bowling and drinks Date 3 drinks at a lounge. Date 4 (last night) movie at his place. We both discovered we like horror movies so he invited me over to watch "Strangers"

 

I went over and ended up spending the night. I said it was getting late after the movie and was going to get a cab. He said I should stay and we hung out/talked/made out some more. We did not have sex or do anything below the waist. He just made out on his bed, felt me up, but it got pretty hot and heavy even though no pants or anything came off. He cuddled with me all night and kept asking if i was comfortable and checking in. He didn't ever try to remove his pants or mine. We just kept our hands over the pants.He did try to put his hands down my pants to grab my butt but I pulled his hand out and he said "sorry" and didn't try again. We talked quite a bit about our childhood and just random things about ourselves, he showed me some pics of his fam and when he was younger as well as family pets.

 

The next morning he gave me a ride home. He said he was leaving on trip part business part visiting friends. ( i knew this already but didn't know it was that long). He said "since i'm leaving friday do you want to hang out before I go? We can do something low key, like a walk in ____ Park". We decided wed or thurs.

 

Click for text image: I sent him this text a few hours after he dropped me off the next | HeTexted

 

I sent him this text a few hours after he dropped me off the next morning and did not get a response. The joke I made was in reference to the movie "Strangers" we watched together. I was saying I'm glad nothing creepy like that happened to us last night. So I'm hoping he got that and didn't think I was calling OUR night strange and with problems??

 

On date 2 he told he was not into hooking up and he said on each date (last night at his house included) he liked how cultured I am. His profile also conveyed he was not into hooking up and wasn't willing to "settle" but just hasn't met the right person yet. Do you think he will contact me again to hang out? Am I being paranoid that last night is the last I will see/hear from him?

Edited by ThisisIt606
more detail
Posted

Did you post the right text with that link?

 

 

Why don't you just write the text here. It would be much easier.

  • Author
Posted
Did you post the right text with that link?

 

 

Why don't you just write the text here. It would be much easier.

 

 

 

Yes I posted the right text with the link but I'll say it here too but you're right it does make it easier...

 

A few hours after he dropped me off today. I texted him

 

" Thanks again for a nice night :) I had a good time. Glad we didn't have any "Stranger problems" lol.

 

 

 

^i'm afraid he will find it too sexual maybe? Like I just enjoyed sleeping over/getting hot and heavy? Bc we did make out a lot, but I really did have a nice time talking with him, kissing him, and watching the movie.

Posted

From that alone it's impossible to tell whether you will hear from him again. You didn't do anything wrong but I'm not in his head.

Posted

i think you're being paranoid. if he can't take a joke i dont know what to say. i think he's trying to prepare for his trip. he's also testing to see if you freak out when he doesn't respond right away.

 

Chill. Read a book. Go for a walk.

 

Don't think about him when he's not in your face.

Posted
Yes I posted the right text with the link but I'll say it here too but you're right it does make it easier...

 

A few hours after he dropped me off today. I texted him

 

" Thanks again for a nice night :) I had a good time. Glad we didn't have any "Stranger problems" lol.

 

 

 

^i'm afraid he will find it too sexual maybe? Like I just enjoyed sleeping over/getting hot and heavy? Bc we did make out a lot, but I really did have a nice time talking with him, kissing him, and watching the movie.

 

Hmmmm...naughty naughty, so just as if you had sex then? :laugh: What was the point of the latter "stranger problems" in the text you sent?

Posted

don't sleep in his bed again soon. keep your activities outside his house. its safer

  • Author
Posted
Hmmmm...naughty naughty, so just as if you had sex then? :laugh: What was the point of the latter "stranger problems" in the text you sent?

 

 

The "stranger problems" was a reference to the movie we watched "Strangers". It was a out this couple who got a cabin in the woods, then they heard loud knocks on their door and slowly creepy people from town wearing masks were trying to break in, terrorize them, and ultimately kill them. So I was making the joke i'm glad THAT didn't happen to us, like in the movie we watched together.

 

I mentioned to him that I was glad that wasn't going to happen to us when I was with him last night.

Posted

I think it's weird that he didn't contact you right away, but try not to jump to conclusions at this point.

 

 

There is nothing wrong with your text.

 

 

Just try not to get attached too soon. It's very early days, and for all you know (even though he said he is not into hook ups) he could still be dating other women trying to find his match.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
Why didn't you sex him?

 

Multiple reasons... one if which I thought it was too soon and would like to take more time getting to know him and it was also my first time at his place. He also didn't try to take off my pants or anything which I appreciated. Another large factor was that it was towards the end of my "time of the month" and I didn't want to do anything when I still had it.

 

He is also going to be on a trip both domestically and internationally, leaving soon for the next 2.5-3 weeks so i didn't want to jump the gun having sex and then have a huge stretch of time when he's away and hoping he'd still want to see me after he got back when he already 'got some'. So I want to wait till he comes back from his trip, and see how things are.

Edited by ThisisIt606
Posted

^ I am sure he not trying to rip off your pants, probably has nothing to do with him not wanting it. He probably read the body language like some of us do, and clued in. So am guessing next time it's going to be a visit to your place?

  • Author
Posted

He did say things like "I want to taste you, I want to make you happy" but I ignored it/didn't say anything. Just continued making out with him. Mainly bc it was too soon I thought and also "time of the month" and didn't want him to encounter that

  • Author
Posted

Well he just texted, about 8 hours later:

 

"Yes, it was definitely a good time. Hope you have a good night."

 

His texts are usually formal and a bit short and choppy. I'm not sure what to make of this, esp. since it took him so long to reply. Not sure if I'm over analyzing or if he's trying to wean off?

Posted (edited)

Try not to think too much about it.

 

 

It's early days and he's going away for 3 weeks.

 

 

You were right not to sleep with him and be left hanging.

 

 

Keep busy and go on a few dates in the meantime. It would be good not to over-invest this early on. He is older than you and has more experience.

 

 

Two other posters mentioned some good points: he would've taken things further had you not stopped him (even if it was because you were at the end of your period) and also maybe keep the next few dates in public places, so you have a chance to get to know him and assess if he's right for you.

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Posted
Well he just texted, about 8 hours later:

 

"Yes, it was definitely a good time. Hope you have a good night."

 

His texts are usually formal and a bit short and choppy. I'm not sure what to make of this, esp. since it took him so long to reply. Not sure if I'm over analyzing or if he's trying to wean off?

 

You are totally over analyzing & if he gets a whiff of this neurosis, he'll run. We all do this but the trick is to make him think everything is calm & cool & you are on top of the world.

 

Breath, calm down & have a little faith. He'll be back.

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