Black Cement Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 This past week I met this amazing girl through a mutual friend. She's beautiful, funny, yada yada. When I added her on facebook, I found out she has a boyfriend. This sucks because I feel that she was flirting with me. I want to get to know her & see if she's happy in her relationship, but I don't want to be "the other guy." I talked to some females about it and they said "your bad. Karma is going to come back to you." Am I wrong for wanting an unavailable girl? Should I see whats up or just wait until she's single?
jjtr Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Forget about her. Even if she becomes single, that just opens up even more baggage. Also, why would you want to date someone who so openly flirts with other men while being in a relationship? 1
Author Black Cement Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 Forget about her. Even if she becomes single, that just opens up even more baggage. Also, why would you want to date someone who so openly flirts with other men while being in a relationship? I mean this girl is perfect in my eyes, on so many levels. Since my last breakup, I've been meeting a lot of different girls, but all of them were missing something. I'm assuming that her and her bf are having problems & she's seeing whats out there. I don't mind being a side guy.
Diezel Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 So the girl flirting with you that has a boyfriend... seems "perfect" in your eyes? Buddy, knock her off the pedestal. She's one kiss away from being a cheater (if she's even interested) and that does not denote the characteristics of a perfect woman.
CarrieT Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Am I wrong for wanting an unavailable girl? It is not wrong to want anything specific. It is wrong to act upon pursuing someone when they are in a relationship. Should I see whats up or just wait until she's single? Wait until she is single.
ktya Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 This past week I met this amazing girl through a mutual friend. She's beautiful, funny, yada yada. When I added her on facebook, I found out she has a boyfriend. This sucks because I feel that she was flirting with me. I want to get to know her & see if she's happy in her relationship, but I don't want to be "the other guy." I talked to some females about it and they said "your bad. Karma is going to come back to you." Am I wrong for wanting an unavailable girl? Should I see whats up or just wait until she's single? Keep communication, be confident and direct, ask straight up about the boyfriend but not in an accusatory manner. She may want an exit relationship. If your worried about karma, just dont hit on her, but if she hits on you hit back.
BlueIris Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 This past week I met this amazing girl through a mutual friend. She's beautiful, funny, yada yada. When I added her on facebook, I found out she has a boyfriend. This sucks because I feel that she was flirting with me. I want to get to know her & see if she's happy in her relationship, but I don't want to be "the other guy." I talked to some females about it and they said "your bad. Karma is going to come back to you." Am I wrong for wanting an unavailable girl? Should I see whats up or just wait until she's single? I bet most people over age 30 have been very attracted to someone who's already in a relationship at some time or another. You felt that she was flirting with you because in your head you wanted her to be. I agree with the women who advised you to let it go. In general, there can be many reasons that people are attracted to people in a relationship, and one is that people in relationships often have a vibe of happiness, being relaxed and confident, and that that is itself attractive. A bit of a Catch-22 there.
carhill Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 This past week I met this amazing girl through a mutual friend. She's beautiful, funny, yada yada. When I added her on facebook, I found out she has a boyfriend. This sucks because I feel that she was flirting with me. Not uncommon. The motivations are as various and sundry as people. If she's young, meaning 20's, even more common. Think nothing of it. Most of the attention I received from MW's (married women) was in my 20's. I want to get to know her & see if she's happy in her relationship, but I don't want to be "the other guy." If so, remain a bit distant and get to know casually; nothing girlfriend with a penis. She's one of the guys. I talked to some females about it and they said "your bad. Karma is going to come back to you." Tip: Talk with men who are successful with women for tips on how to date and mate with women. Am I wrong for wanting an unavailable girl? You want what you want. It's your choice how you process that want. Each choice has consequences. Should I see whats up or just wait until she's single? If you're young, and usually these questions occur when young, make some choices and observe the results. Relationships, in general, are transitory so, if she's going to flirt with another guy, or men, during your R or M, or prior to ending it, that's what she'll do. However, because people age and mature, behaviors engaged in at a young age don't necessarily rule as a person ages, gains life experience, and analyzes the consequences of their choices. IOW, that 'karma' thing isn't cast in stone. Possible? Sure! IMO, if you meet a lot of clearly single women, one of them would be my preference. In my demographic when your age, I rarely if ever met a single woman, so pragmatism won out, along with watching how successful men gained girlfriends and wives. Your path will be your path. Good luck!
oberkeat Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 (edited) This past week I met this amazing girl through a mutual friend. She's beautiful, funny, yada yada. When I added her on facebook, I found out she has a boyfriend. This sucks because I feel that she was flirting with me. I want to get to know her & see if she's happy in her relationship, but I don't want to be "the other guy." I talked to some females about it and they said "your bad. Karma is going to come back to you." Am I wrong for wanting an unavailable girl? Should I see whats up or just wait until she's single? I had the same thing happen to me this week. I met my dream girl, who seems to be the perfect match for me, only to find that she was taken. When she said she couldn't date me because she has a bf, I just said, "That's okay. Here's my cell number in case you change your mind at some point in the future." Other than that, there's really nothing you can do in these situations. Pursuing her further, after she's already said how it is, will just make her mad, as well as make you look like a desperate guy who can't take a hint. Someone in another thread put it best: until she likes you back, she really isn't the one. Edited September 28, 2014 by oberkeat Spelling
Mister Zen Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Everyone is single until they're married. And even after they're married.. you never really know.
CharlieFox Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Everyone is single until they're married. And even after they're married.. you never really know. Is that the motto of every cheater or what?
Mister Zen Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Is that the motto of every cheater or what? Its not a motto, its a fact.
mightycpa Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Until you're married, you have the option to change your mind at the drop of a hat, no matter what other promises were made. HER relationship is not your problem. It is HER problem to deal with. You might even say ask yourself why, if they are so strong a couple, that he has not married her yet, or put a ring on her finger. So I think it is perfectly appropriate for you to say "Matilda, I really like you, and I'd like to go out with you on a date." It is her choice to blow you off, cheat, "take a break" or dump the current BF. You watch what she does, and you decide if you can live with it. That's how it goes in life. BF/GF is not a life prison sentence, even though many people think it is. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 If you are OK being the "guy on the side" & she's OK having you as that, she isn't perfect. She's someone who cheats. If she cheat with you, she will cheat on you. That's no way to assure happily ever after Just because she was flirting with you does not mean she & her BF are having trouble or that she wants anything more than to flirt with you in that moment. Cyberstalking her on FV will only make you long for what you can't have. 1
Mister Zen Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 Until you're married, you have the option to change your mind at the drop of a hat, no matter what other promises were made. HER relationship is not your problem. It is HER problem to deal with. You might even say ask yourself why, if they are so strong a couple, that he has not married her yet, or put a ring on her finger. So I think it is perfectly appropriate for you to say "Matilda, I really like you, and I'd like to go out with you on a date." It is her choice to blow you off, cheat, "take a break" or dump the current BF. You watch what she does, and you decide if you can live with it. That's how it goes in life. BF/GF is not a life prison sentence, even though many people think it is. Exactly. Why would you miss out on a golden opportunity to protect the feelings of some d-bag you don't even know? No one is officially taken until they have a ring on their finger.
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