Feelbettersoon Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Why NC is essential? That my ex has no interest in me and has moved on? This weekend has been one of the hardest and Iv been so close to breaking NC, even though I'm aware he has 0 interest in me. Hurts so much he just disposed of me after two years without any care.
Boomshine Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Why NC is essential? That my ex has no interest in me and has moved on? This weekend has been one of the hardest and Iv been so close to breaking NC, even though I'm aware he has 0 interest in me. Hurts so much he just disposed of me after two years without any care. You answered your first question with your final paragraph. This weekend has been the hardest, and you're hurting because you feel disposed. No Contact is going to allow you to break from this emotional attachment, and become more reliant on yourself rather than this person who'd rather not be there at the time. As for your second question, that's merely an inference based on current circumstances and what little amount of information you've been given. But regardless, that's a conversation to be saved for when you're in a better state within yourself. Take 30 days of true NC, have faith in the process along the way, and when you hit 30 days, you're going to see a noticeable difference. You may not be PERFECTLY fine at that point, but it WILL be significant. Take this time to rebuild other friendships and pursue your passions. It will take time, but the fact is that no matter what, both parties MUST take time to cope and heal through this loss. You dealing with it NOW just means you also come out on the other side all the quicker as well.
Author Feelbettersoon Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 Been over 2 months since BU, and 10 days NC (we weren't in contact, just social media looking which I stopped which has brought me to day 10)
FailedFirstLove Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 People are different I've been no contact for over about two months and I'm feeling worse. Can only hope it will get better. Some days are terrible. really terrible. Hang in there. 10 days is really nothing. Last time I would have said 10 days is heaps! But you get better with each breakup. Been 3 months for me and I think 3 months is nothing. I'm not even close to been over him and I. Wonder the same thing. How do they just throw away all that time together. They probably don't. But those memories no longer stand out to them anymore.
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 (edited) Been over 2 months since BU, and 10 days NC (we weren't in contact, just social media looking which I stopped which has brought me to day 10) Oh, when I see NC, I think of it as pure disconnect. You brought light on how people will still reach out feelings even though NC is in play. Anything that reminds you of the EX that you try to hold on to, is not NC. You are still allowing mental contact with the EX. Now that you stopped looking online, you are now counting your NC days from the day you stopped FB. I think NC is one sided. Meaning, whoever wants NC is more willing to part than the other. There has not been one NC that I have seen, where one is feeling left out, being man or woman. There is always one relying on hope to bring back the relationship in some degree. Many who are left to the wayside, always feel it is something that is wrong with them, or what they had done or did not do. In reality there are two things that bring up such a disconnect. Complete misunderstanding; When the one who ran out so to speak, never allowed proper understanding about how they felt and understood what was needed. Call them selfish at times, but for the most part they just did not know the other well enough to work around issues, and waited till they had no other choice for themselves. Lastly, for those who find their other do troubled. There is love that goes beyond hurt; There is a song by Tea Party... It is called Release. The song is simple but tells a different side of letting go so abruptly when you have someone love you so deeply and know that they are not good enough for them. I want the world don't keep awake I want to give you peace I want to vindicates You need to be released Don't wanna hurt you I need to make you see If I desert you It's just to make you see That I'm a man that's weak And I'm a man that's a lost I give it all away It's complicate the cost Don't wanna hurt you I need to make you see If I desert you It's just to make you see Not gonna hurt you now I need to make you see If I desert you now It's just to make you see I want you to be free I want you to be free from me I want you to be free I want you to be free from me I want you to be free I want you to be free from me I want you to be free I want you to be free from me Edited September 28, 2014 by sdrawkcaB ssA
littleblacksubmarine Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Oh, when I see NC, I think of it as pure disconnect. You brought light on how people will still reach out feelings even though NC is in play. Anything that reminds you of the EX that you try to hold on to, is not NC. You are still allowing mental contact with the EX. Now that you stopped looking online, you are now counting your NC days from the day you stopped FB. All true. NC isn't going to work properly without total disconnect, it's not just about not talking to them, it's about trying not to think about them by removing as many triggers as possible, facebook being a huge one. If you break NC then you will definitely realise why NC is the best way. The pain you will feel afterwards will be much worse than you are currently feeling.
Elle1975 Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 The no contact is in place so that you don't find yourself crying at work in the bathroom because he didn't answer your text or because you saw the picture of the new girl on his facebook. I dated this guy when I was younger. I went NC, without thinking about it. 6 months later he called me saying he loved me, and wanted another try. Now it's unlikely to happen. NC is not a way to get someone back, look at it as a side effect. I have been the dumper too, and there is nothing more irritating than someone who insists on being back together, because no means no. Sure, at first, I felt bad. I'm not a monster. After a few calls and emails though, when the ex just doesn't want to accept the break up, feelings of guilt turns into repulsion. So don't do it. Suck it up. Be strong, and understand that you can be happy without him. Everything else will follow.. new found happiness, new guy, new life. I will add that the LAST thing you want to do is begging someone. It's over? Oh okay! See you! It's not what we feel, but that's what we want to show. 1
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