WesternWizard Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 The last of my immediate family died back in '07, and while it's great not having them worry about me for doing the things I want to do, I was the fall guy of the family and I got used to it. Sometimes when I do something I enjoy, like eat cookies for breakfast or take a whiz in the back yard, I can imagine my deceased family members grimacing in agony at me from behind a big plate glass window... yet there's no sign of any haunting in the family HQ since I inherited the place. Except for my late mother's cat, I'm alone in the place. All of my attempts to befriend women with the intent of building a relationship have amounted to nothing but a waste of my time... but I don't want someone to find my rat-eaten corpse inside the house like what happened to the old geezer who died in his house across the street back in '85. It would be no trouble at all for me to clear out one of the 2 empty bedrooms so a gf could move into the place with me... but I'm afraid something looks fishy about a guy who appears to have no family. I do in fact have 4 cousins, but none of them even so much as sends me a lousy Christmas card, and my surviving aunt feels sorry for me because I'm not a holy roller. I'm afraid women will get the impression I'm not nice to be with.
me85 Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 The majority of my relatives live but I am pretty much an orphan and fear this will be problematic yet again in relationships. You are not alone in this.
darkmoon Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 (edited) i had this, my long-lost bro had this, nothing went wrong, it is not having no family that is the problem, it is the ad hoc parenting from strangers, seeing a good deed, some lonely, some bossy, yikes if anything just vet your in-laws, look for sweet and gentle, or register independence, not many stranger-parents were that nice, controlling as if their age gave them this large right, to advise and correct, beware, yet note that Christmas, real family time, alone can suck, can, idk, some stranger-parents do not go the distance just when you need it, absent in the holidays, meh am 61 my bro is 62, seen much of what goes on, but you/we have great freedom, not so bad Edited September 28, 2014 by darkmoon 1
gaius Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Why don't you rent out a bedroom? You could have someone to at least exchange pleasantries every day with, some extra cash to put into your publishing endeavors. If it isn't a girl maybe you'll even end up meeting one through him. Seems like the potential for a lot of upside. 5
Eivuwan Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Why don't you rent out a bedroom? You could have someone to at least exchange pleasantries every day with, some extra cash to put into your publishing endeavors. If it isn't a girl maybe you'll even end up meeting one through him. Seems like the potential for a lot of upside. Sounds like a good idea. If it's a stranger, it might be a good idea to do a background check/credit check. 1
Shepp Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 I'm with Gaius - i was going to say, got a couple of spare rooms, get a couple of lodgers. Lodgers can become friends and even if not its some extra cash. Also, just cause you don't have any family now doesn't mean you won't! My wife didn't have any family, her mum died, no siblings and estranged from her dad. But she does now, she's part of mine now. Not long after we started dating properly her saying to my brother like "but you guys wouldn't still come and see me if anything happened to Alfie", and him and my mum were both straight away like "of course we would", I still remember her looking at them and saying "Why?" - but there's way more than blood to be family! I have plenty family who I share no blood with whatsoever! 2
Ronni_W Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 I do in fact have 4 cousins, but none of them even so much as sends me a lousy Christmas card, and my surviving aunt feels sorry for me because I'm not a holy roller. I'm afraid women will get the impression I'm not nice to be with. ARE you nice to be with? Do YOU send lousy Christmas (or Birthday) cards to anybody? There is nothing inherently "fishy" about a man or a woman whose closest relatives have died; nobody will be wondering, "Hey, howcome all this person's closest people died?" Well...not unless they have some reason to suspect that the person is a 'Dexter'. But other than that, intelligent people - the ones YOU want to have in your life - do understand that dying happens and is out of control of the still-living. Your deceased relatives may actually be happy for you that you are finally doing what you enjoy doing, when you eat cookies for breakfast or take a whiz in the backyard... but maybe don't do the latter once your girlfriend or lodgers move in...at least, not without first giving them a heads up to expect it, sometimes 1
Tayla Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 Our world seems to grow smaller when our kin folk depart. I don't have an answer for you....could you consider joining a local club so as to keep in touch with people? Sometimes your closest family are those you create in keeping in touch.... Carry hand sanitizer for when nature calls.
MuscleCarFan Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 I am going to be 31 in October. I lost both of parents to Vrain cancer 13 years apart. 16 years old when my Dad passed away. 29 years old when my Mom passed away.
preraph Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 Sorry. I know it's odd feeling not having them around at times and you can feel pretty alone. I think what you should do is concentrate on just doing things with friends. Here's why. Because concentrating on trying to get a good gf can be depressing under the best of circumstances and you don't need to just get too focused on that. And the other reason: Because the best way to meet good girls is to meet them by just expanding your circle of friends and meeting their friends and before long, it will happen. Meanwhile, a dog might be better company! 1
LuckyLady13 Posted September 30, 2014 Posted September 30, 2014 Wow, I don't have family either because the good, caring people have died young on me and the remaining people, my immediate family, are psychically and mentally abusive. Out of necessity I had to find out a long time ago friends and their families can treat you unbelievably good and blood has nothing to do with family! Having some roommates would be great for you and having friends who you trust who treat you like family would be great also. The sooner you expand your mind to realize you have yet to meet a whole bunch of your family that will be with you in your future, the sooner you can stop worrying about anybody finding your half eaten corpse surrounded by rats. 3
Omei Posted October 6, 2014 Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) Don't worry there are women out there that would find not having another family to deal with pretty enjoyable no need to impress or be on good terms with anyone except you. And would love to have you join her in all her family gatherings instead of having to work out the holidays its a little bonus really. Oh and for the record Dexter loved his family and never killed them, he killed for them. Edited October 6, 2014 by Omei
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