Question to girls, Have you ever been super friendly with a guy you didn't like

[you_can_not_see_me]

By Friendly I don't mean courteous or polite, I mean actually going out your way to be nice to a guy when its not really warranted, like acting really happy each time you see him or acting like the random uninteresting conversation he's having is really interesting, as well as making eye contact and smiling a lot even when not talking.

 

Is there any reason for a girl to behave that way other than her being romantically interested in some way?

 

I mean I understand a lot of people mix up a girl being friendly vs interested, but if a girl continues to act really friendly even after having met months ago, she kinda asking for the guy to interpret that as interest, isn't she?

 

 

I prefer girls' opinion on this, but guys can chip in too.

Edited September 28, 2014 by you_can_not_see_me

[carhill]

If you're a young person, and I presume so since you refer to women as girls, I think it's healthier to perceive such signals as authentic and simply approach those whom you perceive in that way and also find attractive and ask them out on dates. You'll always get an answer, one way or another.

 

Now, if you want a cynical old fart's opinion, one borne of a lot of life interaction with women, well, I'll spare you that and encourage you to take the risks, enjoy the feelings and suffer through the pains. It's all part of life!

[reliablewolf]

If you're a young person, and I presume so since you refer to women as girls, I think it's healthier to perceive such signals as authentic and simply approach those whom you perceive in that way and also find attractive and ask them out on dates. You'll always get an answer, one way or another.

 

Now, if you want a cynical old fart's opinion, one borne of a lot of life interaction with women, well, I'll spare you that and encourage you to take the risks, enjoy the feelings and suffer through the pains. It's all part of life!

 

I'm 20 and I'd like the old fart's opinion.

 

I think there are certainly girls that just act nice to guys no matter what. It makes it especially hard to decipher their true feelings, I think some would even agree to go out with you without being truly interested.

[Cristo]

By Friendly I don't mean courteous or polite, I mean actually going out your way to be nice to a guy when its not really warranted, like acting really happy each time you see him or acting like the random uninteresting conversation he's having is really interesting, as well as making eye contact and smiling a lot even when not talking.

 

Is there any reason for a girl to behave that way other than her being romantically interested in some way?

 

I mean I understand a lot of people mix up a girl being friendly vs interested, but if a girl continues to act really friendly even after having met months ago, she kinda asking for the guy to interpret that as interest, isn't she?

 

 

I prefer girls' opinion on this, but guys can chip in too.

 

Stop basing whether or not you decide to ask a woman out on her behavior towards you.

 

I've had women basically show me no signs at all that were receptive to going out with me. I've also had women show me tons of signs only to shoot me down.

 

Pick a woman you want and just go for it. Be persistent within reason. See what happens. Stop worrying so much about rejection.

[you_can_not_see_me]

Stop basing whether or not you decide to ask a woman out on her behavior towards you.

 

I've had women basically show me no signs at all that were receptive to going out with me. I've also had women show me tons of signs only to shoot me down.

 

Pick a woman you want and just go for it. Be persistent within reason. See what happens. Stop worrying so much about rejection.

I get what you are saying and its sound advice but that wasn't my question on this thread. I am curious to hear if girls ever act really friendly towards people they have no interest in and why they would behave in that way.

[Cristo]

I get what you are saying and its sound advice but that wasn't my question on this thread. I am curious to hear if girls ever act really friendly towards people they have no interest in and why they would behave in that way.

 

Yes, many do. Some just have naturally flirty personalities. Others just like the attention.

[Michelle ma Belle]

From a woman's perspective, if I'm into you, you'll know it. Period.

 

Yes, woman can be kind and chatty and even flirty with all sorts of guys including ones they're not necessarily interested in dating but there is definitely a difference between the two if you pay close enough attention.

 

As for WHY some women behave this way? I can't speak for all women but for me it's just the way I was raised. You treat everyone with respect and kindness until they give you a reason not to. I can't even imagine anyone being so blatantly unkind to anyone for no reason apart from not wanting to date them (?). That just seems incredibly immature to me.

 

I'm with Cristo on this one. I think you need to stop over analyzing things to death. If a girl is kind to you and you get along well enough, take the leap and ask her out. There is a fifty percent chance she'll say yes!

 

Nothing venture nothing gained.

 

Good luck.

[90s kid]

I am curious to hear if girls ever act really friendly towards people they have no interest in and why they would behave in that way.

 

 

I try to be nice to everyone, male or female, because I believe in being a friendly and approachable person. I've had men misinterpret my warm personality as romantic interest. But I hate the idea of becoming cold and distant towards all men just so they definitely know I don't like them.

 

 

Pay close attention to her behavior and you should be able to figure out if her feelings are platonic. There are certain things I do with a guy who I am romantically interested in that I don't do with a guy I like only as a friend:

 

 

1. Maintaining strong eye contact

2. Making excuses to touch him

3. Acting differently towards him than I do other men

4. Going out of my way to be near him

5. Giving him compliments

6. Making plans to hang out one-on-one

[you_can_not_see_me]

From a woman's perspective, if I'm into you, you'll know it. Period.

 

Yes, woman can be kind and chatty and even flirty with all sorts of guys including ones they're not necessarily interested in dating but there is definitely a difference between the two if you pay close enough attention.

 

As for WHY some women behave this way? I can't speak for all women but for me it's just the way I was raised. You treat everyone with respect and kindness until they give you a reason not to. I can't even imagine anyone being so blatantly unkind to anyone for no reason apart from not wanting to date them (?). That just seems incredibly immature to me.

 

I'm with Cristo on this one. I think you need to stop over analyzing things to death. If a girl is kind to you and you get along well enough, take the leap and ask her out. There is a fifty percent chance she'll say yes!

 

Nothing venture nothing gained.

 

Good luck.

can explain more about the bold part.

 

I can easily distinguish between the typical girl who is just being nice, cause the ones who are just being friendly to be polite don't spend a lot of time with you, they basically have a short friendly chat then they are on their way, they also don't make a lot eye contact outside of conversations, you can occasionally even get the vibe that they aren't interested if you make eye contact and they don't seem all that enthusiastic.

 

I want to hear from you how you think girls who are interested act different from those who are just being friendly. how does a guy get the vide that a girl is interested.

[Michelle ma Belle]

can explain more about the bold part.

 

I can easily distinguish between the typical girl who is just being nice, cause the ones who are just being friendly to be polite don't spend a lot of time with you, they basically have a short friendly chat then they are on their way, they also don't make a lot eye contact outside of conversations, you can occasionally even get the vibe that they aren't interested if you make eye contact and they don't seem all that enthusiastic.

 

I want to hear from you how you think girls who are interested act different from those who are just being friendly. how does a guy get the vide that a girl is interested.

 

Again, I can't speak for all women and especially for younger women since my perspective on things at my age now is more mature and perhaps a bit bolder than it was when I was in my twenties.

 

Having said that, I think you nailed it on a couple of points in terms of eye contact and the amount of time someone spends with you. I think if a girl is interested in you or sees you more as a prospect they will go out of their way to be near you, chat you up, strike up conversation.

 

Often times when a girl is interested in a guy they will remember the oddest details about something they've said or done or whatever. This shows that they've been paying attention. If we didn't care about you, we wouldn't have bothered to remember anything.

 

Another sign is how flirty the chats get. If I see you as a viable prospect I will make a point to elevate our banter which usually includes painting a picture for you of the both of us together. If I'm not interested, I'll keep it safe and very generic.

 

Body language is huge too. Like you said, eye contact, holding a gaze, smiling, laughing. If I'm into you, I'll stand close to you and will even find excuses to touch you especially when we're talking.

 

There is also a very healthy dose of intangibles that aren't seen with your eyes or heard with your ears but felt in your gut. Some call it chemistry or energy or vibe, whatever. That can't be explained easily and certainly not something that can be forced.

 

Again, these are just some of MY ways and it may not necessarily translate with other women or younger women but it should give you some idea.

 

Good luck.

[you_can_not_see_me]

I try to be nice to everyone, male or female, because I believe in being a friendly and approachable person. I've had men misinterpret my warm personality as romantic interest. But I hate the idea of becoming cold and distant towards all men just so they definitely know I don't like them.

 

 

Pay close attention to her behavior and you should be able to figure out if her feelings are platonic. There are certain things I do with a guy who I am romantically interested in that I don't do with a guy I like only as a friend:

 

 

1. Maintaining strong eye contact

2. Making excuses to touch him

3. Acting differently towards him than I do other men

4. Going out of my way to be near him

5. Giving him compliments

6. Making plans to hang out one-on-one

thanks for the input. I wasn't just talking about a girl being friendly that's the norm for most girls, I was talking about girls who are overly friendly and nice to a guy to an extent that is easily distinguishable for the normal friendliness.

 

now considering the girl I had in my mind relating to this topic and the points you listed:

1. check (lots of eye contact, occasional stare even)

2. kinda check (she has touched me on the shoulder and arms a bit, nothing that stood out as a sexual advance of sort)

3. check (she was consistently more focused on me, though I didn't really try to pay attention)

4. check (after a certain point she always sat beside me)

5. check (yep some of her compliment even seemed undeserved)

6. maybe not (we hung out one on one before but its just happened, there was no planning involved, and she mentioned a trip she was going and it kinda seemed like she was wondering if I d like to go as well, but she didn't ask directly

[you_can_not_see_me]

Again, I can't speak for all women and especially for younger women since my perspective on things at my age now is more mature and perhaps a bit bolder than it was when I was in my twenties.

 

Having said that, I think you nailed it on a couple of points in terms of eye contact and the amount of time someone spends with you. I think if a girl is interested in you or sees you more as a prospect they will go out of their way to be near you, chat you up, strike up conversation.

 

Often times when a girl is interested in a guy they will remember the oddest details about something they've said or done or whatever. This shows that they've been paying attention. If we didn't care about you, we wouldn't have bothered to remember anything.

 

Another sign is how flirty the chats get. If I see you as a viable prospect I will make a point to elevate our banter which usually includes painting a picture for you of the both of us together. If I'm not interested, I'll keep it safe and very generic.

 

Body language is huge too. Like you said, eye contact, holding a gaze, smiling, laughing. If I'm into you, I'll stand close to you and will even find excuses to touch you especially when we're talking.

 

There is also a very healthy dose of intangibles that aren't seen with your eyes or heard with your ears but felt in your gut. Some call it chemistry or energy or vibe, whatever. That can't be explained easily and certainly not something that can be forced.

 

Again, these are just some of MY ways and it may not necessarily translate with other women or younger women but it should give you some idea.

 

Good luck.

Thanks this is actually pretty in line with what I imagined and I guess I already can for the most part tell if a girl is interested or not. I guess what disappoints me is when a girl is by all means interested, but it doesn't work out in the end and it feels more disappointing than usual.

[LoneIsland]

They enjoy the emotional games and you are their toy. Quite simple. Friendly has nothing to do with interest. Also guys have positive emotional energy that girls love to sap on.

 

I'd exit the game.

Edited September 28, 2014 by LoneIsland

[No Limit]

No. Even if I had a crush on a guy I didn't like I wouldn't be anything but polite to him (already proved it irl - guy tried to put his arm around my shoulders, and just like that I was the first guy to pull away from his grip and push his arm aside; must have hurt his ego).

[varonny]

I like to think that I'm a friendly girl, so I generally try and treat everyone with the same amount of respect. I do tend to get along with guys better (which is coming in handy now that I'm in a male dominated workplace), but I try to make a conscious effort not to make it seem like I'm interested in anything other than friendship. Unfortunately I'm a natural giggler, so some people take my interaction with them the wrong way.

 

I think to a certain extent remembering details is a good sign of interest. If a girl is bringing up things she's remembered its most likely that she's keen. I tend to remember quite a bit of insignificant information, but I'll only comment on it down the track if I'm specifically asked something.

 

Bottom line is, if you ask a girl out, the worst she can do is turn you down, but it sounds like this girl is interested. Usually I'd be using small touches to the arm or shoulder to test out to see if HE is interested. You'll never know unless you ask.

[ktya]

The easiest way to put this is...

 

What women say and what they mean are two entirely different things.

 

So that girl who isnt being flirty at all might be secretly just dying inside hoping you notice her and ask her out. Or that girl who is being super flirty and fawning over you may just want you to go ga ga to boost her ego and buy her more drinks. Or everything and anything in between.

 

Dont bother trying to read women, its virtually impossible and even women usually cant do it. Just ask them out if you like them, be confident and direct, ensure to get their number.

[xxoo]

By Friendly I don't mean courteous or polite, I mean actually going out your way to be nice to a guy when its not really warranted, like acting really happy each time you see him or acting like the random uninteresting conversation he's having is really interesting, as well as making eye contact and smiling a lot even when not talking.

 

Is there any reason for a girl to behave that way other than her being romantically interested in some way?

 

I mean I understand a lot of people mix up a girl being friendly vs interested, but if a girl continues to act really friendly even after having met months ago, she kinda asking for the guy to interpret that as interest, isn't she?

 

 

I prefer girls' opinion on this, but guys can chip in too.

 

I can be super friendly and charming to someone that seems like he needs some help feeling welcome and comfortable in the setting. Big smiles, eye contact, etc. I'm trying to draw him out a bit.

[Mister Zen]

A lot of women like to "collect men" to boost their own ego. So they will flirt with men they have no interest in just to know they have that option if they want it. Some will string several men along and have large numbers of men orbiting them like little puppy dogs.

 

They have no interest in these men. They just like the attention.

 

If you are a man and you want to avoid this situation.. all you have to do is force the woman to make a decision. You do this by asking her out or trying to kiss her. You MUST put her in a situation where she has no choice but to come clean. But most men are too chicken to do it.