LoneIsland Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 Yes, seemed offended. Probably misinterpretation. In these kind of things, men know what they are doing. They know perfectly well how upset you can get. But believe it or not some women are not upset by it. Not because they like sex, but because they understand men better. They are who these men are seeking.
ThaWholigan Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 A bit off topic but this is actually something both men and women do in my experience, it's just that women are more often to be turned off by it than men, and also therefore likely to wait a tad longer (just a tad) to bust out the dirty talk. Every girl I've had some kind of intimacy with, were talking sex very quickly into the interactions. Back on topic, I reckon guys do it for a couple reasons: 1. He wants to bone as quickly as possible 2. He wants to determine on average how much you will bone him in the course of a potential relationship Neither of which excuse the inappropriateness of doing it early. As much as we may wish it weren't so, women aren't always going to respond positively to early sex talk - even being good looking won't save you in a lot of cases . 1
Author spiderowl Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 Thanks for interesting replies. Some things I hadn't thought of. So, if a woman rejects the idea of sex talk and calls the guy out on it, then is he going to give up on her?
LoneIsland Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Yes, an early talker will give up on you when you start calling him a creep because your response is expected. Also a woman who has zero or negative interest in sex is not sexy, more reason to run away from as if from a plague.
MissBee Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Ladies, would you consider a guy you met through online dating who started with the sex questions before you'd even spoken on the phone or met? Just wondering if there is any consensus on this. Is he just exploring whether you are likely to be compatible in that way or is it just too soon for comfort? Too soon for comfort. Immediate turn off and I'd end our communication personally. Leading off with sex is never a good idea. Get to know me first and then you'll have an opportunity to find out about my sexual proclivities and you'll still have time to leave if we're not compatible. However, starting off with it makes it seem like that is your main priority and that is a turn off for me. 1
whichwayisup Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Ladies, would you consider a guy you met through online dating who started with the sex questions before you'd even spoken on the phone or met? Just wondering if there is any consensus on this. Is he just exploring whether you are likely to be compatible in that way or is it just too soon for comfort? If I was single - I'd run the other way immediately. A guy who asks sex questions right off the bat would be very off putting and would make me wonder how shallow and empty he is. 2
No Limit Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Wouldn't matter to me. Would probably make me even more curious. 1
Snakechammah Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 I guess some guys do that in order to avoid being friendzoned. Maybe they think that by inserting sex into the girl's mind as early as possible will eliminate the likelihood of them being friendzoned. 2
ThaWholigan Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 I guess some guys do that in order to avoid being friendzoned. Maybe they think that by inserting sex into the girl's mind as early as possible will eliminate the likelihood of them being friendzoned. This is a good point. So much fuss made about "friendzones" that guys do anything to avoid it like its a trap .
LoneIsland Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Wouldn't matter to me. Would probably make me even more curious. It just occurred to me that younger women are probably more receptive to the early talker because they have yet to experience the full range of the sex talk and therefore not yet bored hearing the same perversions over and over. That is in fact an advantage to the early talkers because they get all the younger women while leaving the older bitter women to the "nice guys" or to sulk all by themselves.
CaliGuy Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Thanks for interesting replies. Some things I hadn't thought of. So, if a woman rejects the idea of sex talk and calls the guy out on it, then is he going to give up on her? If he gives up on her....well....if he starts with sex talk, he already made his agenda clear: "I want sex right now...don't care if you and I have a connection or not, I have a need that I want met -- are you going to do it or do I have to look elsewhere?" I mean, that is as clear and direct as I can be translating what a man's purpose is with sex talk right off the bat. 2
Author spiderowl Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 Probably misinterpretation. In these kind of things, men know what they are doing. They know perfectly well how upset you can get. But believe it or not some women are not upset by it. Not because they like sex, but because they understand men better. They are who these men are seeking. I agree, I think he was playing dumb by pretending to be offended. I am well rid!
Author spiderowl Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 Yes, an early talker will give up on you when you start calling him a creep because your response is expected. Also a woman who has zero or negative interest in sex is not sexy, more reason to run away from as if from a plague. Not wanting sex talk at the very start of a relationship does not mean a person dislikes sex. If that's what some guys assume, then they are making a mistake. But if a guy brings up sex talk so soon, it gives an indication of what his priority is and it's not getting to know you. It seems to me that some guys want to know what you like rather than who you are.
Author spiderowl Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 I guess some guys do that in order to avoid being friendzoned. Maybe they think that by inserting sex into the girl's mind as early as possible will eliminate the likelihood of them being friendzoned. Yes, I do think that's what some do, flagging it up to to speak But it may not have the desired effect. Who wants a guy without any self-control? Most decent women will want to know how he can behave in different situations. If he can't talk to her about anything else, then he's not likely to be a guy she's trust to appear in public with her.
LoneIsland Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 I agree, I think he was playing dumb by pretending to be offended. I am well rid! I don't know about the rid, it's more a lost. He's certainly good enough that you wanted to get internet advise for. Going by your past posts, you are losing good men left, right, and center, and all because you refuse to accept men for what they are.
Author spiderowl Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 This is a good point. So much fuss made about "friendzones" that guys do anything to avoid it like its a trap . A very efficient way to be friendzoned is to talk about sex with a woman you hardly know! The guys I have dated have known how to balance things so that you never feel that's all they care about. The eager ones who can't think of anything else just come across as desperate and creepy.
LoneIsland Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Not wanting sex talk at the very start of a relationship does not mean a person dislikes sex. If that's what some guys assume, then they are making a mistake. But if a guy brings up sex talk so soon, it gives an indication of what his priority is and it's not getting to know you. It seems to me that some guys want to know what you like rather than who you are. No guy will care what you are like if you are incapable of sex. If you intentionally or even unknowingly put yourself in the position, you can stay alone forever.
Author spiderowl Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 (edited) I don't know about the rid, it's more a lost. He's certainly good enough that you wanted to get internet advise for. Going by your past posts, you are losing good men left, right, and center, and all because you refuse to accept men for what they are. I respect your viewpoint LoneIsland. I don't find men I meet socially behave this way. They are more respectful and hint at meeting up or try to find opportunities to spend time together. They don't ask me if I like sex or if I enjoy oral sex! Why do guys think it's OK to do this online or by text? I really don't get that. It's so disrespectful. Edited September 28, 2014 by spiderowl
Author spiderowl Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 I don't know about the rid, it's more a lost. He's certainly good enough that you wanted to get internet advise for. Going by your past posts, you are losing good men left, right, and center, and all because you refuse to accept men for what they are. I did think he was a decent guy and he had a responsible job. It was all the more disappointing that he started asking such personal questions and thinking it was OK to do so. I did politely suggest maybe we should leave such questions for when we know each other better, but he differed. If he can't respond sensitively to that, then he's not the kind of guy I'm looking for. It all goes to show that having a responsible job doesn't make you a good guy.
Author spiderowl Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 No guy will care what you are like if you are incapable of sex. If you intentionally or even unknowingly put yourself in the position, you can stay alone forever. Who says anything about incapable? I was just talking about good manners. If a guy chooses to think I'm incapable, that's up to him. He can find someone else.
Priv Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Wouldn't matter to me. Would probably make me even more curious. That is probably because you are ODing on that magic mountain picture
LoneIsland Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 I respect your viewpoint LoneIsland. I don't find men I meet socially behave this way. They are more respectful and hint at meeting up or try to find opportunities to spend time together. They don't ask me if I like sex or if I enjoy oral sex! Why do guys think it's OK to do this online or by text? I really don't get that. It's so disrespectful. If you know a source of men who do exactly what you want, then I suggest you stick to that source. Internet men are generally at a distance. The cost for them is higher. So they need to know what they are getting for their money pretty quickly. Unlike for women, money doesn't grow on trees for men. So those distant men need to eliminate the unsuitable quickly. It is not in their interest to waste time or money on a "dud" or someone who gives the impression that they are a dud. Perhaps if you are willing to talk to men about things they consider important, they will be willing to talk about things you consider important. If you shut them down the minute they talk about things they want to talk about, why would they then want to know more about you. What purpose would it serve given that you hate them, hate their words, hate their ideas, and hate their perversions ? What so terrible about talking about oral sex ? If I were to talk to you about it, would you have trouble with it ? I am sure you wouldn't. You should treat other men no differently. When two people are having a conversation, both have control of it. It is up to you to move the conversation to areas you consider important. Instead, you run for the hills the moment sex is mentioned. Is that the behaviour of a rational adult ?
Priv Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 lol , i do this all the time when iam much younger and internet is barely new to me (mirc era) , i wonder if any guy here try to initiate sex chat with ladies via private messages on LC Nonsense, you don't need pm for that. So what are you lovely ladies wearing tonight? I think it kind of depends on the questions. Sexual compatibility is important, and any of the questions that come up on say the sexual health section are quite valid. And there is nothing shallow about that. Not more shallow than criteria you can screen for on OLD like education level, job, hobbies etc. I would argue sexual incompatibility is harder to overcome than disparities in those criteria mentioned. But OLD doesn't allow for needs like frequency or whether or not you like to dressup like a baby and be spoonfed.
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Nonsense, you don't need pm for that. So what are you lovely ladies wearing tonight? I think it kind of depends on the questions. Sexual compatibility is important, and any of the questions that come up on say the sexual health section are quite valid. And there is nothing shallow about that. Not more shallow than criteria you can screen for on OLD like education level, job, hobbies etc. I would argue sexual incompatibility is harder to overcome than disparities in those criteria mentioned. But OLD doesn't allow for needs like frequency or whether or not you like to dressup like a baby and be spoonfed. Indeed they do not. That's why they invented sex / fetish sites where people with very specific sexual tastes can play around on anonymously or not. I have a friend who met and married an online lover she met on fettish site (Fetlife.com). Most of those sites allow for perusing and chatting and meeting. You can be as involved or removed as you want. Hell, I met my man on an adult site not on a traditional OLD like we tell all our friends and family That's not to say you can't get everything you want from a traditional OLD but if sex or a particular fetish of yours is kind of paramount, you may be better off frequently sites that cater to those wants rather than running the risk of either not getting what you truly desire or freaking people out. 1
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