Author DiTat Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 I understand the principle and reasoning of no contact but struggle with carrying it out. I haven't managed to delete him from Facebook yet. I am not following him his posts don't come into my news feed but something just made me go and check out his page. He has posted a message in German. He does not speak German but one of the girls he is now dating is German. Oh...heart shattering into pieces again!
zen2475 Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 I think one thing that really worked for me in preventing myself from cyber stalking was to remind myself of the possibility I would be exposing myself to pain by stalking any of his social media. I, like you, found things that caused me pain and I decided I would no longer torture myself or cause myself more pain that way. I blocked him on FB and deleted my Twitter account. To be honest, since I quit checking out his social media, he is very much less on my mind and I have found more peace. I can say I'm really moving on now and much more happy. I sincerely wish the same for you. 1
mightycpa Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 The old "when things get hard, you'll bail" trick. It is self-fulfilling. Things are hard now, but he's bailing. Oldest excuse in the book. Agree with everybody, email too long, too much. Everybody realizes you want to say your piece, but in these matters, the dumpee does best giving no more than what they got. If you got squat for a reason, then your goodbye should be the same. If you got long and heartfelt, then maybe you can take an emotional dump. Having agreed to a "talk" before he left, then yes, you probably do need to close things out. Rupert, I've been thinking a lot about what you said, how we need to see other people. I think you're right. I don't need to discuss it with you. Please don't contact me at all for a while. When I'm ready, I'll get in touch with you. It was nice while it lasted. Take care. - MatildaThen lose his number, block the social media, take some time to mourn and move on. In the end, there's not much else you can do.
littleblacksubmarine Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 I understand the principle and reasoning of no contact but struggle with carrying it out. I haven't managed to delete him from Facebook yet. I am not following him his posts don't come into my news feed but something just made me go and check out his page. He has posted a message in German. He does not speak German but one of the girls he is now dating is German. Oh...heart shattering into pieces again! I think everybody needs to 'put their hand in the fire' at some point and realise how painful it is. It is really difficult to sever all ties with somebody that has been such a big part of your life, but it is a necessary evil. I tend to do it in stages, hide, unfriend, block, for me it seems less sudden and final. Just because you block doesn't mean they're out of your life forever though, it just gives you some distance. If they really want to be with you they'll find a way
Author DiTat Posted October 6, 2014 Author Posted October 6, 2014 Hey I think I'm close to being strong enough to send the email. I have changed it a little so it sounds like me...what do you think? "For my wellbeing and healing, I've decided enough is enough. I really thought we had something special, something worth working for but I understand you need other things and I respect that. Your decision hurt me deeply but I'll be ok. I will get over you. However in the short term I need nothing to do with you. Please do not contact me. I need time and space to heal. " Does this get across that I want to be with him still (I know I'm not meant to think like that)?
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