guy who really likes me stop texting because of my attitude

[liove]

So i've been dating this guy for several weeks. He really seems into me, he is sending me texts all the time, wants to see me, get angry if i do not answer really fast. he is king of overwhelming...reason for which i am not that into him and because i like another guy but this one is nice as well.

But, we went on our 5th date, we spent 7 hours together just talking and kissing on a bench (i knwo this seems creepy but we were both workign the next day and wanted to keep it short) and i felt a connection between us. I invited him to haavea drink at my place but itold him that i am not yet ready to spend the night together so i think he got upset because of this, he thought that i am not interested at all.

He always told me that I am too cold with him, that i am not that interested, i never propose to see each other, i dont answer to his texts etc..which was true because i wasnt into him, i was waiting for the other guy.

He also told me that iam very special, fun and interesting girl but very complicated as well.

When we saw each other last time, he told me jokingly that starting from tomorrow we will stop talking because iam really cold and always avoidign his kissings and cuddling. That we have to ignore the girls in order to get them etc etc etc. The problem is that i felt he was serious but iknow he likes me as well so i thought maybe i could make him change his mind, especially because he really likes me.

I wanted to get myself excused for my attitude so I sent him a text and an e-mail (to show him my interest) in which i ask him if he wants to come at my place for dinner (i love cooking) when he gets back (he went away this weekend at a friend). He still didnt answer! i was wondering whether he is playing hard to get or not. Should I insist more, maybe i can show him my interest or let him go?

Edited September 27, 2014 by liove

[liove]

I really i don't understand why I am in this situation. My self esteem is getting a big hit everytime.

I am a very attractive girl (model type), very smart and extremely funny (i swear i am not exagerating) but in he same time i am quite complicated and analyse-too-much type. i know i love challenges but why am i in the situation of chasing TWO guys now after they used to chase me?

[boilingpoint]

I have this problem - although I'm a guy and this is usually more of a guy problem.

 

It might be because you think too much (not busy enough doing other things), inexperienced so you become attached quickly or because you're a naturally caring/emotional person. I like the last one best :-)

 

I wouldn't worry too much about the who is chasing who issue. Of course it is nicer when the other person is chasing you but if you think about it caring about something and wanting to go for it are healthy, positive, proactive impulses. There's nothing wrong with it - if the guy hasn't texted you back then just wait and he might come around.

 

If you are an attractive girl then I find it unusual that the guys are ignoring you, and if these ones are, others won't so you're in a powerful position.

 

Just be optimistic. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

[HappyLove]

He's playing games. He's ignoring you now to get your attention, he even TOLD YOU THIS! Move on and find a man you're interested in and one who doesn't play games.

[liove]

I have this problem - although I'm a guy and this is usually more of a guy problem.

 

It might be because you think too much (not busy enough doing other things), inexperienced so you become attached quickly or because you're a naturally caring/emotional person. I like the last one best :-)

 

I wouldn't worry too much about the who is chasing who issue. Of course it is nicer when the other person is chasing you but if you think about it caring about something and wanting to go for it are healthy, positive, proactive impulses. There's nothing wrong with it - if the guy hasn't texted you back then just wait and he might come around.

 

If you are an attractive girl then I find it unusual that the guys are ignoring you, and if these ones are, others won't so you're in a powerful position.

 

Just be optimistic. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 

the one i chase that i really really like, ignored me for 10 days after i refused to spend the night with him, and then came around after 10 days (i have already deleted his number) but he is really not that quick, he takes days to send or reply to any of my texts (i do the same though). the problem is that i looove to play games but not with the ones i like.

the other one who just stopped talking to me, likes me A LOT! but he ignores me maybe to play hard to get and because i am too self-centered and dont care enough about him.

but if not, yes i am quite an attractive girl, never got the time to get rejected because i never needed to do the first step with a guy in the first place.

Now i begin to ask myself some questions, even though i am very attractive, i might be extremely crazy so the guys prefer to avoid me...

[CharlieFox]

the problem is that i looove to play games but not with the ones i like.

 

Instead of telling them you're not interested you love to play games with them and hurt them for fun? People like you deserve to be ignored, and for the right reason.

[liove]

Instead of telling them you're not interested you love to play games with them and hurt them for fun? People like you deserve to be ignored, and for the right reason.

 

 

no no no it's not like that! english is not my native language, i completely didnt mean that

i wanted to say that i like to play games (by playing games i mean hard to get) with everyone (at the beginning) but after a moment when i begin to like them (get attached to) i would like the games to stop.

[HappyLove]

no no no it's not like that! english is not my native language, i completely didnt mean that

i wanted to say that i like to play games (by playing games i mean hard to get) with everyone (at the beginning) but after a moment when i begin to like them (get attached to) i would like the games to stop.

 

Well guess that backfired!

[LoneIsland]

You have rejected his advances and now he isn't sure if you are playing games. You can turn him around if your intention is to yield to his advances in the dinner date at your place. Unless you have some way of conveying your receptiveness, he's going to be suspicious of what you are playing at. If you text him "come dressed sexy", he should get the idea, lol.

 

Are you really interested in him or you just want to string him along until you find the right man ? Most men are not that easy to string along unless they are quite inexperienced or that you are a beauty queen. Alternatively, you can offer to pay for all future dates. Most men should find this way of stringing along very acceptable.

[Diezel]

no no no it's not like that! english is not my native language, i completely didnt mean that

i wanted to say that i like to play games (by playing games i mean hard to get) with everyone (at the beginning) but after a moment when i begin to like them (get attached to) i would like the games to stop.

 

Grow up and stop playing games.

[quidproquo89]

this pursuing men/women is an awkward, emotionally challenging business in itself, there is absolutely no need to play games for any reason what so ever. Awful people do this sort of thing!

[d0nnivain]

This guy sounds like a pushy jerk.

 

On your "short" 5th date you spent seen hours with him including kissing on a romantic beach. That doesn't sound like rejection at all. If he thinks that you not wanting to sleep with him this early on before you are exclusive makes you uninterested & cold, he needs a wake up call. You can't judge some body's level of interest by how fast they text back. High school is over.

 

If you don't set boundaries with this guy & soon any future interactions promise to be disasters. He'll probably go off the rails if you talk to a male co-worker or smile too wide at the guy who sells you your morning coffee.

[liove]

You have rejected his advances and now he isn't sure if you are playing games. You can turn him around if your intention is to yield to his advances in the dinner date at your place. Unless you have some way of conveying your receptiveness, he's going to be suspicious of what you are playing at. If you text him "come dressed sexy", he should get the idea, lol.

 

Are you really interested in him or you just want to string him along until you find the right man ? Most men are not that easy to string along unless they are quite inexperienced or that you are a beauty queen. Alternatively, you can offer to pay for all future dates. Most men should find this way of stringing along very acceptable.

 

after our 5th date i understood that he is a very special man and really intelligent so yes i do that because i am intersted in him.

the thing with paying for all future dates wont work for two reasons: 1. i will never do that because he earn 5 times more than me and 2. everytime i tell him i want to pay he refuses and dont want to hear about it at all!

he is not the kind of guy who loves "things planned" like "dress sexy". so this wont work either.

iwill turn around him for several days and if he still doesnt answer, i will let him go.

[liove]

This guy sounds like a pushy jerk.

 

On your "short" 5th date you spent seen hours with him including kissing on a romantic beach. That doesn't sound like rejection at all. If he thinks that you not wanting to sleep with him this early on before you are exclusive makes you uninterested & cold, he needs a wake up call. You can't judge some body's level of interest by how fast they text back. High school is over.

 

If you don't set boundaries with this guy & soon any future interactions promise to be disasters. He'll probably go off the rails if you talk to a male co-worker or smile too wide at the guy who sells you your morning coffee.

 

it's not at all on aromantic beach ! it was on a BENCH!!!! loool in front of my home. actually we went out eating and get a drink and when he accompanied to my house, we stayed on a bench 3 hours more and eventually i invited him to have a drink at my place.

 

how can i set boundaries if he doesnt even want to return my texts...

[LoneIsland]

he is not the kind of guy who loves "things planned" like "dress sexy". so this wont work either.

 

Sure it will. "dress sexy" means "sexy time" for guys. It has nothing to do with dressing sexy.

[d0nnivain]

If he is no longer returning your texts, he has set boundaries -- he doesn't want to see you anymore.

 

Since you were lukewarm to begin with, he was overwhelming you & he seems like a push jerk, be happy he's moved on & concentrate on the other fellow you were seeing.

[liove]

Sure it will. "dress sexy" means "sexy time" for guys. It has nothing to do with dressing sexy.

 

he is not turned on by girls who put themselves like that

he wants a little bit of mistery etc

is funny i've seen him 5 times and ithink i know him like forever

[LoneIsland]

he is not turned on by girls who put themselves like that

he wants a little bit of mistery etc

is funny i've seen him 5 times and ithink i know him like forever

 

No, you think he wants "a little bit of mistery etc". But what he really wants is all naked out in the open. Since you can't give him what he wants, now he doesn't care, or at least feeling badly rejected. Unless you do something drastic, he is going to swim away. A man who earns 5 times your money will surely catch plenty more fishes in the sea.

 

If you look at people's posts here, most girls had to yield sex after 3 dates. This guy has gone 5. You might say he has gone the extra mile for you.

Edited September 27, 2014 by LoneIsland

[liove]

No, you think he wants "a little bit of mistery etc". But what he really wants is all naked out in the open. Since you can't give him what he wants, now he doesn't care, or at least feeling badly rejected. Unless you do something drastic, he is going to swim away. A man who earns 5 times your money will surely catch plenty more fishes in the sea.

 

If you look at people's posts here, most girls had to yield sex after 3 dates. This guy has gone 5. You might say he has gone the extra mile for you.

 

you define men very shallow and women very easy with your post. i dont agree at all!

he surely can catch plenty more fishes, the difference is he wlil catch the fishes that are all the same, not the special one and indeed thoses fishses wlil sleep with him very fast. A true man is not llooking for sex right away, he knows he will have plenty of it in the future if he targets the good woman.

 

it gets me really angry all this stuff with 3 dates and the girl must sleep with you. why is that?! if i do not feel confortable yet, why do i have to sleep with him after 3 dates?! why do we have to invent numbers ? i'm sorry i am not like that. i am an independent very attractive smart and funny women who doesnt sleep after 3 dates. I prefer being forever single than meet shallow guys that think like you!

[Gaeta]

 

*So i've been dating this guy for several weeks.

 

 

*He always told me that I am too cold with him, that i am not that interested, i never propose to see each other, i dont answer to his texts etc..which was true because i wasnt into him

 

So if this is true the man got tired of you not reciprocating his interest and he decided to move on. How can you blame him?

 

Also, if you have this attitude with a man for weeks, how do you think you will keep him around? Men are like us, they want to feel we are interested in them.

 

You being a model type of cutie is not enough to keep a man coming back for WEEKS without you putting any efforts into it.

[LoneIsland]

you define men very shallow and women very easy with your post. i dont agree at all!

he surely can catch plenty more fishes, the difference is he wlil catch the fishes that are all the same, not the special one and indeed thoses fishses wlil sleep with him very fast. A true man is not llooking for sex right away, he knows he will have plenty of it in the future if he targets the good woman.

 

it gets me really angry all this stuff with 3 dates and the girl must sleep with you. why is that?! if i do not feel confortable yet, why do i have to sleep with him after 3 dates?! why do we have to invent numbers ? i'm sorry i am not like that. i am an independent very attractive smart and funny women who doesnt sleep after 3 dates. I prefer being forever single than meet shallow guys that think like you!

 

Guys are not shallow. Guys need connection. They need to know why they are spending their hard earned cash on this "friend" who would happily soak it all up without ever batting an eyelid.

 

Also guys fear a woman who has no sexual desires to be a medical, or biological condition. They are not going to risk finding out far down the line they have a "dud" on their hands.

 

Do you feel you are wiser than those girls reporting sex after 3 dates ? Do you ever wonder how they arrived at that figure ? It maybe possible they are wise than you because they have worked out the meaning of a "guy".

[quidproquo89]

you don't need to sleep with anyone until you are ready just show interest

[CharlieFox]

you define men very shallow and women very easy with your post. i dont agree at all!

he surely can catch plenty more fishes, the difference is he wlil catch the fishes that are all the same, not the special one and indeed thoses fishses wlil sleep with him very fast. A true man is not llooking for sex right away, he knows he will have plenty of it in the future if he targets the good woman.

 

it gets me really angry all this stuff with 3 dates and the girl must sleep with you. why is that?! if i do not feel confortable yet, why do i have to sleep with him after 3 dates?! why do we have to invent numbers ? i'm sorry i am not like that. i am an independent very attractive smart and funny women who doesnt sleep after 3 dates. I prefer being forever single than meet shallow guys that think like you!

 

What is special for you might not be special for someone else. This is all really, and I mean REALLY, subjective. You are acting almost offended that a man wants to sleep with you, yet you point out how you look like a model and how attractive you are... What do you expect, of course he would like to sleep with you as soon as possible.

 

And your definition of a true man is very murky... Of course a man is not looking for sex right away, but he is looking to receive some attention and see the woman is showing some interest. And judging by your stories, it seems like you're very comfortable showing him none. When you play like that, you get played, and eventually lose the game.

[liove]

So if this is true the man got tired of you not reciprocating his interest and he decided to move on. How can you blame him?

 

Also, if you have this attitude with a man for weeks, how do you think you will keep him around? Men are like us, they want to feel we are interested in them.

 

You being a model type of cutie is not enough to keep a man coming back for WEEKS without you putting any efforts into it.

 

i dont blame him at all!! i completely understand him that is why i give him a lot of attention now! (i hope only that it's not too late)

 

@loneisland: please stop judgning me. you dont know what you're talking about. how can you say that "men need to make sure they are not spending their money on someone who dont deserve it"jesus, i dont want to know with what kind of guys you went out (i am sure you are a girl)

i dont need his money!

and this proves a lot;the other guy i like a lot, he never paid for me and if he called me today to ask me out i wlil say yes without a glimpse! so yeah, will chose the other one without a second thought even though he never paid for me and i will give him sex also, because i want it not because i have to.

I am sensitive person, i like the cnonection as well and I dont want to have sex with someone who doesnt care in knowing me better. i am old school i know!

And yes, the girls who do the "3 dates sex rule" just for the rule and not because they want so, they are not smarter than a sack! the law has been invented by the guys in desperate need to get laid, i guess!

but i will never give a man sex juste because he offers to pay me dinner! that's legal prostitution! ps: in europe prostitution is still illegal!

[liove]

What is special for you might not be special for someone else. This is all really, and I mean REALLY, subjective. You are acting almost offended that a man wants to sleep with you, yet you point out how you look like a model and how attractive you are... What do you expect, of course he would like to sleep with you as soon as possible.

 

And your definition of a true man is very murky... Of course a man is not looking for sex right away, but he is looking to receive some attention and see the woman is showing some interest. And judging by your stories, it seems like you're very comfortable showing him none. When you play like that, you get played, and eventually lose the game.

 

i know! i was a stupid ho' ... hope he will come around though...