YssaBoo Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Well I finally did it and lost my ex...I learned he took a girl to Chicago for 4 days and still wants me to call his cell...loser. On a happy note I need advice on this other situation...I have known my friend for 6 months while he was in a relationship...we did alot together and than he would not call for weeks and than he would call out of the blue and talk..He was very unhappy and kept asking me if he should break up with his g/f...I said it's not my place to tell you...but if you are unhappy why stay with her. well he called me a few weeks ago and talked ,right after valentine's day...about a week later he called me late at night and wanted me to come over...he told me he had just broken up with her.. He asked me to prom and somedays are really good other days I don't know where I stand...He now has the freedom to be with the guys and I guess she constantly nagged him and complained about him and he dumped her..He says he doesn't want another serious relationship at this point...but then when we are together it is so good...we kissed for the first time on friday and he called me in the middle of the night and said he was glad he did it and he really enjoyed that night ...we had a party and had so much fun. He said he would call me the next day,which he didn't and he has a bad habit of doing it alot...I can't count on him to call...His friends are great and they said he has always liked me and really does now and don't give up ...the people where he work ask if there is something going on because he talks about me and tells them that he really likes me... sometimes though I don't know how to take him...not calling ...asking me to come over and than calling and said he is going to play poker and than acting really weird about going to prom...I know money is really tight and he has a not so good dad..but I really like him..how do I deal with this..do I hang on..we are having a party together in a week and he is staying the night...just us..I don't want to get into another relationship that will rip my heart out eventually...please I need advice!
HokeyReligions Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 He told you that he doesn't want a serious relationship. He seems to be enjoying his life right now. If you can't deal with casual dating then maybe you should stop seeing him. Talk to him, if you want a commitment then tell him. Chances are he will end the relationship and you don't need to worry about it. If you force him into a committed relationship because you manipulate his fears and uh, 'horniness' the relationship will end eventually anyway and neither of you will be really happy. Why not just relax and when you two get together, you get together. Hang out with your friends more and have fun.
bebegal Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 I was in the same situation. GUy gives mixed signals but i have learned that when a guy says he doesnt want to be in serious relationship he means it. (usually means i dont want to be in a serious relationship with you) You are NOT going to change their mind. They feel that once they drop the that line.... and you still hang out wiht them... they think that you have agreed to this/consented. You become a FWB. I always thought actions are louder then words BUT:: if you start hitting them with the why dont you call more, or call when you say.. hang out more, etc they will give you the "I told oyu I didnt want a relationship.. I thought you agreed" line... Be careful,,, you are setting yourself up to getting hurt. You have to move on, let him go completely.. he will then know that you want relationship or nothing. If he comes back or calls you then its under your terms. If he doesnt then you saved yourself alot of hurt. It took me 3 months to get over a guy I dated for 5 weeks. Its not worth it. Please believe me. When they say they do not want a relationship they mean it. They are not playing hard to get. I find that is almost impossible to change their minds. Its even worse when you get that line and a few weeks later you hear about them in a relationship with another girl. save yourself the trouble. find someone who is crazy about you. Its so much easier that way
Author YssaBoo Posted March 11, 2005 Author Posted March 11, 2005 I agree with you guys...I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship when I started this with him and we both seem to be changing...I was at his work last week and never mentioned dating him..I don't work there anymore...A coworker came up to me and said,so what is going on with you and ***...I said we just hang out together..I guess he is showing everyone my pic and telling them that I am so different from his last girlfriend. I found out the reason he wasn't calling is that he has taken on alot of debt and has no money and can't take me out...when I asked his best friend what was wrong with him and that he didn't talk...*** called me that night and talked and told me money was very tight...now he's fine. I said it didn't matter and we see each other when we can. I am very careful after the last guy and will not get into an intimate relationship with a guy unless it is going to last...I am not that type of person..I start college in June and he is stil in HS..but he doesn't look it.. I will take this day by day and we are having a party next sat and that will tell me what he really is feeling and I will let you guys know the outcome...wish me luck!!
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