Don22 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Most of the time when I'm dating someone new it is so ambiguous. I tend to give up if don't think there is a strong mutual connection. I have a difficult time in telling the difference between lack of interest and playing hard to get. I wonder if I might have better results if I changed my strategy. A few questions. I tend to take awhile to get to know someone but it seems with OLD I'll meet meet a woman for an hour and then make a snap decision if I want to see her again. How long do you think it would take when meeting someone to get good idea if they are a good match for you? In the cases were I find that I'm interested in them but they not showing much interest. Would be better to give up then or go for broke?
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Clarity & not making assumptions are important. If you instantly don't like somebody take a moment to think about why. Most times those initial reactions may be accurate. If you are pursuing but they are a bit cold, gently force the issue. Say something long the lines of I'd like to get to know you better but I'm getting the sense that you may be hesitant about me or just not feel the same way. I don't want to crowd you or force the issue. So, I'd just like to know if you'd prefer I back off? 1
Jules Dash Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 In those ambigous situations, I almost never say anything. I usually will just back off or continue to pursue. If I back off and she pursues, she is interested. If I continue to push forward, the ambiguity will eventually clear up. What I found that if the ambiguity is specifically addressed, it puts immediate pressure on the situation, things become awkward and the romance and excitement really takes a hit. You then wonder if maybe you just slit your on throat and that ambiguity is more bothersome and tends to linger longer.
angel.eyes Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I don't think I've ever had a one or two hour date, but then again, I'm fairly outgoing and they naturally extend. The longer the date, the more you learn about the other person. You don't have to have all the answers at the end of a first date. Sometimes, it's all you need to decide. Other times, it's not. Just relax and enjoy getting to know the person. If I'm definitely not interested at the end of the date, I'll say no. If, I'm not sure, I'll give the guy a second chance. Often you get a much better picture of the person on the second date. Some people are very nervous on first dates and you don't get a good sense of their personality. Deciding to go on another date isn't a promise to marry the person or become BF/GF. It's just an attempt to learn a little bit more about the person. When you ask for a second date, all you're committing to is a second date. Nothing more. 1
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