Jame22 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Kind of a dumb question, mostly asked out of boredom but there is some substance here. A week ago a girl messaged me on tinder. She seemed interested so I told her we should hang out and I asked for her number. Only problem is that I was about to leave on business for two weeks. I told her I'd shoot her a text when I get back in town. It's been a week and I'm sure she's thinking she'll never hear from me again. Should I keep my word and wait until next week or should I send her a little something to let her know I'm still interested?
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Text her. She's on Tinder, she got men lined up to talk to her, c'mon. Two weeks with no news would be enough for me to forget your name.
Author Jame22 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 Text her. She's on Tinder, she got men lined up to talk to her, c'mon. Two weeks with no news would be enough for me to forget your name. Yeah but I told her a couple of weeks. That has to count for something. Plus I want to avoid turning into a pen pal.
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 The longer you wait, the more likely she is to believe that she is second choice at best.
Author Jame22 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 The longer you wait, the more likely she is to believe that she is second choice at best. That's not always a bad thing, is it?
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 That's not always a bad thing, is it? It is in my book. If I think you came to me only because some other women rejected you I'm not about to be your consolation prize. You may think it's some kind of power play, playing hard to get etc It's not. It's game playing & it's mean.
Author Jame22 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 It is in my book. If I think you came to me only because some other women rejected you I'm not about to be your consolation prize. You may think it's some kind of power play, playing hard to get etc It's not. It's game playing & it's mean. The thing is I have no prospects right now. I'm out in the middle of nowhere. But she doesn't know this so I guess it doesn't matter.
boilingpoint Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 It is in my book. If I think you came to me only because some other women rejected you I'm not about to be your consolation prize. You may think it's some kind of power play, playing hard to get etc It's not. It's game playing & it's mean. See this is what I hate - the assumptions that it's game playing or because the girl is second choice, when in fact the truth is that more likely it's the guy who is 2nd choice... or 3rd or 4th or 5th. The guy doesn't have to be infatuated with you to potentially want to date and get to know you!!! And anyway, why doesn't SHE text within that 2 week time frame?? There are many reasons a guy won't text for 2 weeks and it's not necessarily because he's her 2nd choice, even if he's dating other women and getting rejected by them in the process. He could MAYBE just be unsure about her at that particular moment and has other things on his mind until that text finally comes through.
Gaeta Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 He could MAYBE just be unsure about her at that particular moment and has other things on his mind until that text finally comes through. Yep! and guys that are unsure and busy with things on their mind usually lose the girl.
boilingpoint Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Yep! and guys that are unsure and busy with things on their mind usually lose the girl. Yeah, she's already ****ing 2 other guys by that point, and the other guy 'missed his chance'. It's bull****.
Omei Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 If you wait weeks consider yourself gone with her, as another poster said id forget your name not gonna wait weeks to see if a guy maybe likes me enough to do a text? A text? Lol 1
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 See this is what I hate - the assumptions that it's game playing or because the girl is second choice, when in fact the truth is that more likely it's the guy who is 2nd choice... or 3rd or 4th or 5th. The guy doesn't have to be infatuated with you to potentially want to date and get to know you!!! And anyway, why doesn't SHE text within that 2 week time frame?? She didn't text because he said he was going to be away. I would not interrupt a new person's business travels. The reason I called it game playing is that the OP said he'd call when he got home. He's been a home a while & he still hasn't called. I initially said that the longer he waits the more she will think that she is his 2nd choice. He then indicated that he thought making her feel that was a good thing. That's where & why I advised no game playing.
angel.eyes Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Most guys made sure they stayed top of mind, even when they traveled overseas before our first date. Do what you want OP, but if a guy waited more than a couple of days, I took that as a low level of interest and declined politely whenever he got back to me. Scrambling and pulling out the stops then...I'm not interested anymore. Honestly, it didn't make sense to waste my time with a guy who was lukewarm for whatever reason when there were other guys who were very interested and treated me well. Worked for me! Figure out what works for you, but expect a LOT flakes if you wait weeks to communicate.
angel.eyes Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 One of my friends logged on to his girlfriend's online dating account for fun one day and there was literally close to ONE HUNDRED message in her mailbox from just ONE DAY of not checking her messages. His girlfriend has an active OLD account while she's with your friend??? My boyfriend would leave me so fast if I actively sought out other guys in our relationship that my head would be spinning! Sorry to be blunt, but your friend needs some self-respect...and to grow a spine.
Author Jame22 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 Yep! and guys that are unsure and busy with things on their mind usually lose the girl. haha I thought it was the exact opposite? People want what they can't have.
Author Jame22 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 She didn't text because he said he was going to be away. I would not interrupt a new person's business travels. The reason I called it game playing is that the OP said he'd call when he got home. He's been a home a while & he still hasn't called. I initially said that the longer he waits the more she will think that she is his 2nd choice. He then indicated that he thought making her feel that was a good thing. That's where & why I advised no game playing. I never gave her my number so she doesn't even have it yet. I just said I'd shoot her a text when I got back. I'm not home..when did I ever say I was home?
Author Jame22 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) Most guys made sure they stayed top of mind, even when they traveled overseas before our first date. Do what you want OP, but if a guy waited more than a couple of days, I took that as a low level of interest and declined politely whenever he got back to me. Scrambling and pulling out the stops then...I'm not interested anymore. Honestly, it didn't make sense to waste my time with a guy who was lukewarm for whatever reason when there were other guys who were very interested and treated me well. Worked for me! Figure out what works for you, but expect a LOT flakes if you wait weeks to communicate. In my last romantic pursuit I showed a lot of interest and got my ass handed too me. Probably because I was too available. I can never win with women lol. Edited September 26, 2014 by Jame22
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