ThisisIt606 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I met this guy on an online dating site, he's 36 and I'm 26. He's well established (good job, salary, money, owns home). Also seems nice and respectable so far. We've been on 3 dates which he paid for. #1 Dinner at a nice restaurant and cafe after. #2 Bowling and drinks #3 Drinks and convo. at a lounge. I suggested the bowling idea and thanked him when he paid for things and for a nice/fun night each date. We've made out a few times but that's as far as it's gotten. He keeps his hands on my face/ they don't wander. We are moving slow in terms of being able to see each other bc he has been away visiting family. There was a whole week in between date #2 and date #3. He first kissed me at the end of date #2. So approaching date #3 I was tentative to greet him with a kiss and just hugged instead, and he kissed my forehead. Later in the car he initated making out again before we got to the lounge. At the lounge we talked more and discovered me both like horror movies. He invited me over this weekend to watch some that he owned. Click for image of text convo. Did i seem too rude shut him down he didn t reply if so how | HeTexted Did I seem too rude /shut him down? He didn't reply. If so, how can I fix it? The date is Sat. night at his place. If I don't hear from him I was thinking of texting Saturday late AM " Excited for our horror movie night! What time were you thinking?" In general he is a pretty formal texter ( always puncuation/capitalization, corrects any missspellings, etc.
Poppygoodwill Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 You weren't rude, you were saying goodnight. If he hasn't gotten back in touch, then there's a reason, but who knows what it is? Only him. Don't assume anything. Just call the guy for god's sake and say hi and how's your week going and what time are we meeting on Saturday? YOu can't learn much by trying to parse out a text. You'll know a lot more by the tone of his voice and how he handles the phone call. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Well, I certainly didn't interpret it as rude. I think he was trying to ramp things up a bit given that you've been on three dates and admittedly are taking things slow. His attempt at being extra flirty seems pretty textbook to me. As far as you are concerned, you appeared to be keeping things in check but still came across warm and inviting. I mean, I didn't get the feeling you were shutting him down necessarily. But who knows what HE's thinking. He could be used to women throwing themselves at him and jumping into full on sexting the second he turned on his texting charm. I don't know. If he doesn't respond, connect with him about your date and see what happens. If he's going to act like a baby about this then perhaps count yourself lucky that you found this out sooner rather than later. Good luck. 2
ddc579 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Even from a guy's perspective, I see absolutely zero wrong with what you wrote! Again, we don't know what he's thinking, but there's nothing bad about your text at all.
Fondue Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I don't see the problem here. You're over-thinking it. Proceed as you were before . EDIT: Oh yah, I forgot to mention. If you're going over his house (or him to yours), it pretty much signals that sexy time will be happening. DON'T go to someone's place if you're not ready. You'd be sending very, very mixed signals. If you're not ready for sex, then please suggest another activity. 2
cif Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 No you weren't rude. You do know he's expecting sex right? He probably tried to initiate some sex talk when he mentioned "holding each other at scary parts". But you didn't take the bait. Maybe that seemed like a blow off to him. If you don't hear from him before the date drop him a line.
start at the end Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Don't think you have anything to worry about, you weren't rude at all. Have fun cuddling during scary movie night
Author ThisisIt606 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 This is good feedback to hear. It wasn't my intention to be rude/blow him off but I didn't really know how to handle that comment. Yes, cuddling is what I envisioned happening but I just found it a bit awk/ hard to text a response to him spelling it out like that. I know he told me he was busy tonight/Friday night. I'll just text him tomorrow asking what time. I have a feeling he will respond or get it contact with me first though rather than just halting this relationship/dating in it's tracks before it really even started.
Jules Dash Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I don't see the problem here. You're over-thinking it. Proceed as you were before . EDIT: Oh yah, I forgot to mention. If you're going over his house (or him to yours), it pretty much signals that sexy time will be happening. DON'T go to someone's place if you're not ready. You'd be sending very, very mixed signals. If you're not ready for sex, then please suggest another activity. Date #3 is about the average point sex occurs anyway so at least some heavy making out is in order.
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