freebird31 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I have been broken up with my ex for a year and a half now. Last form of contact was very brief over a FB message 6 months ago. But before that it's been a year now since we have really talked. I have been moving on with my life, finally started feeling better a few months ago. Been ready to date. I'm dating this new guy now. We met online have been talking for a month and went on our first day yesterday. Things got heated and we started full on kissing/making out. I got so caught up in the moment , the moment felt so familiar...brought me so many flash backs to those passionate kisses I used to share with my ex, I got choked up and tears flooded my eyes. I obviously didn't let my date see. I buried my head in his shoulders and wiped them off before he could notice. The moment kissing him just made me remember the memory of kissing my ex. I haven't kissed anyone or dated anyone since my ex. Is this normal to feel this way?
Raena Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Well, it could be worse. You could have had full on sub subs tears after having sex with him for the first time. Trust me, that's a pretty tough one to explain away. I do think it's normal that it makes you think of the person. But it also means that you aren't quite ready to move on just yet. Poor guy, probably has no idea and doesn't deserve to know that your special first moment kiss with him made you cry because it reminded you of your ex. 2
Author freebird31 Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 Idk what to do. I do still care for my ex very much so even after all this time. This new guy is different than my ex completely, he's fun and exciting. Idk :| kinda just want to b single
guest569 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I have had the same reaction, only he picked up on it and asked me what was wrong.. He also just happened to mention the last place my ex and I went. I started sobbing like crazy! If you really like this guy, just take things slowly and see what happens.
JDPT Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I recall the first time I kissed a girl after my ex. We went out on a date and similar to your situations things got heated and we started to kiss/touch each other. It almost felt like I wasn't supposed to be doing that. I clearly enjoyed the touch and scent of a woman specially after such a long time but something inside me felt weird about the whole situation, I just couldn't explain. I supposed it was my heart still stuck in the past. My mind kept pushing me to move forward with the moment and enjoy it as anyone would but my heart kept holding me back. I stayed away from the dating scene for a while after that as I took it as a sign of me not being ready. But then again when will we know we are ready? The only way, at least for me to find out is to go out and do it, immerse myself again and see what happens. I feel stronger now regardless of all the crap that has been going on lately. There is no way to go but forward.
Arient Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I think it's pretty normal to feel this way. I myself felt so weird and even disgusted when I started to chat with some guys online. I guess it just takes time. But I also agree that we should just keep going out there and start dating, because if not, we never know for sure if we are ready. If it makes us feel too bad, then stop, if it's just a little bit bad or acceptably bad, keep going on. Because I personally think it will take very very long until we can claim to be 100% over our ex to start dating, and new dates are actually one type of 'cures' for our recovery. I will jump into the dating pool soon and hopefully things will not be too bad
Lalocket Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 don't worry, i have had something similar (minus the tears). It takes a lot of getting used to and I don't think the first time you do something with another person is ever going to feel 'right' unless you are totally over it. It almost feels like cheating which is ridiculous, especially when you know the other person is doing the same and probably feeling none of this (in my case).
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