mongo Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 this is going to sound a little weird. theres a girl who works at a store near where i live. when our eyes really met something hit me like a ton of bricks. she keeps looking at me, then when i catch her, she looks in my eyes with this look i cant describe and then just looks down. then i would catch her looking at me again. it feels like theres a big connection, i cant explain it. it wasnt sexual...i mean she is beautiful but it was more than that. im not sure if she felt it too but something tells me she did. i dont know her i only know her name from a receipt. we have only made small talk. this girl is a bit younger than me but seems very nice and mature. we like the same music and seem to have a lot in common. i dont really buy all this soulmate junk...we guys just dont talk about that. i know i want the right girl for me. during the past few years i had all but given up, i just stopped caring and didnt pay women much attention. im 33 and still very unsettled. every single girl i ever wanted did not want me. it got screwed up for me everytime. i became rather bitter over it and developed a rejection complex but i changed when i realized i was causing a lot of it myself. now im struck by this girl...i dont know what to do. honestly im afraid ill screw it up again. i do this everytime, i fall for somebody hard then get stomped on. but i never before experienced quite what i did with her. it would seem she likes me but i cant be sure of that. i know i need to sack up and walk in there and talk to her. i just dont want to make another mistake. and i have no idea what to say.
LoneIsland Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 She likes you and you should ask her out for a drink, meal or movie. Can't see how you can mess this up. But if you mess up afterwords, then its tough luck. If you keep messing up, eventually you will learn to not mess up. There's no way around this. 1
Arieswoman Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Mongo, There is no easy way to do this but if you are really interested in this girl, you're going to have to bite the bullet and ask her out. You say that you like the same music so why not find a venue that puts on bands/groups/whatever of that genre and ask if she'd like to meet you there sometime for a drink/coffee etc. If she shows interest tell her that you'll get a programme/find out what's on, and get back to her. Then a couple of days later go and see her again and tell her that Joe90 and the Spacefreaks are playing and would she like to see the band? If she agrees then ask her if she would like to meet you outside there at x time and you'll get the tickets or you could pick her up. Keep it casual and friendly and see how she reacts. Good luck.
Assasda Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Think of the fact, that none of this thinking that youre thinking right now will matter in 10 years. So walk up to her and talk to her. You need to find out what she's about. If she's not for you, so be it. But you need to approach her right now and find ut 1
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 You say you are 33 & she's a "bit younger" yet you call her a girl. To me, girls are under 18 & over 30 you have no business dating a child. Assuming she's in her 20s, you are right. You do need to find your courage & go ask her on a date. If you are polite & sincere, even if she declines you will not have screwed anything up. 2
Author mongo Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 well i went in there earlier and talked to her for a min. i still caught her looking at me 3 times. but she looked down and tired. i guessed she was having a bad day. it went like this... me:hey her: hey me: you look really tired are you having a rough day? her: yeah just a little bit me: hehe i didnt know what to say cuz she looked mad and tired so i just chuckled and kept walking. she looked at me at first then kinda turned away and looked down and started messing with a plastic bag as i was talking to her. seemed disinterested. i guess i was wrong.
Author mongo Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 You say you are 33 & she's a "bit younger" yet you call her a girl. To me, girls are under 18 & over 30 you have no business dating a child. Assuming she's in her 20s, you are right. You do need to find your courage & go ask her on a date. If you are polite & sincere, even if she declines you will not have screwed anything up. yes she is over 18.
Author mongo Posted September 28, 2014 Author Posted September 28, 2014 i honestly cant tell if that was a dismissal or shes being shy.
FitChick Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 You are still shooting yourself in the foot, so it seems. You blew your chance for a date when she said she wasn't happy. You could have said, "Hey, I've got something that might cheer you up. Why don't we...." then offered an alternative like one of the suggestions mentioned above. 2
quidproquo89 Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 just be relaxed and chatty with her. Smile and don't think about expectations just go in there and do your best. You'll be fine whatever happens, at least you wont have the regret of not trying
quidproquo89 Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 i honestly cant tell if that was a dismissal or shes being shy. you can just have another go next time 1
Assasda Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 that exchange was hilarious!! hahahahahaha Very good though - At least you talked to her. If you didnt feel anything, I dont think you should continue. If you did. Talk to her again
mightycpa Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 (edited) well i went in there earlier and talked to her for a min. i still caught her looking at me 3 times. but she looked down and tired. i guessed she was having a bad day. it went like this... me:hey her: hey me: you look really tired are you having a rough day? her: yeah just a little bit me: hehe i didnt know what to say cuz she looked mad and tired so i just chuckled and kept walking. she looked at me at first then kinda turned away and looked down and started messing with a plastic bag as i was talking to her. seemed disinterested. i guess i was wrong. Way to buck her up, mongo! UFB. Do you know why most people who get into a sales position fail? You should, because you committed the exact mistake that they do. Let me step into your shoes, and finish that up for you the mightycpa way: me:hey her: hey me: you look really tired are you having a rough day? her: yeah just a little bit mightycpa: you know what would make you feel a lot better? her: what? mightycpa: you'd feel a lot better if right after you get off work, you and I can go over to Matilda's Tavern, and get a bite to eat and and something to wash it down with. We can relax, and you can tell me all about it, or I can help you forget all about it. Your choice. Would you like to do that? her: oh, that sounds goodWho knows what she would have said? But I'll tell you this... one way or another, I would know right now. You're guessing she didn't like you because she was mad and tired about something else entirely. One thing she does know about you right now... you're no help. Cowardly people come across as mean and selfish. It's not because they are, but it is because they are too afraid to think about what other people might actually be thinking. Instead, they always think about what the other person thinks about them. News Flash: They don't think about you until you come across as mean and selfish. So feed those little California Raisins of yours and turn them into grapes and be bold, but nice. Not doormat nice... but considerate and helpful. You'll get a lot farther with people that way. Edited September 28, 2014 by mightycpa
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