NJ123 Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 Confidence and charm are two personality traits that can be developed. You could have them too if you'd take the time to develop them. In my opinion, it's not a good idea to discuss exes on a first date to begin with, but I agree that a woman that was previously in an abusive relationship CAN be a red flag (depending on the circumstances, how long ago it was, what she has done to fix herself since then, etc.). But there are also varying degrees of bad boy. For example, I know an awesome girl that is 21 right now. Her ex is a bad boy. Basically, he came from a low income family and joined the marines. He had her going out of her way constantly for him and basically treated her like crap. He never abused her, but he ended up cheating. She broke up with him. She's not bitter about it and has a really bubbly personality. She no baggage (physical or emotional) from it. So, while she DID date a bad boy, it really wasn't so bad. Well, there's definitely exceptions. But lots of young women keep repeating the same behavior over & over & keep falling for the jerks until they want a good guy just to start a family with & be secure before they get too old to have kids. I feel bad for those guys who fall for those women who have been used up by tons of trashy guys in the past. Why be with someone you know deep down would have never given you the time of day in the past & likely will cheat on you anyways when they have the chance. A lot of those types of women don't change.
mightycpa Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 Ha. And this isn't the only thread that I've read that's been like this after being on here for only 2 weeks. I really don't get how some people could be so blind & clueless than come on here to bitch about being treated like ****. I never got the sense that she was seriously bitching about it. Even her complaints read like she thought it was kinda cute.
Cristo Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 Well, there's definitely exceptions. But lots of young women keep repeating the same behavior over & over & keep falling for the jerks until they want a good guy just to start a family with & be secure before they get too old to have kids. I feel bad for those guys who fall for those women who have been used up by tons of trashy guys in the past. Why be with someone you know deep down would have never given you the time of day in the past & likely will cheat on you anyways when they have the chance. A lot of those types of women don't change. There are some women like this, for sure, but, based on my observations, it's not as bad as you seem to think. In my experience, there are some really messed up women out there, but you can see them from a mile away. If you spend the time to get to know a woman without your blinders on and with enough experience to differentiate, you should be fine. Of course, there are no guarantees in life.
NJ123 Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 I never got the sense that she was seriously bitching about it. Even her complaints read like she thought it was kinda cute. You could be right on that, but she's still blind & clueless not to see this guys a piece of **** just using her for sex.
NJ123 Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 There are some women like this, for sure, but, based on my observations, it's not as bad as you seem to think. In my experience, there are some really messed up women out there, but you can see them from a mile away. If you spend the time to get to know a woman without your blinders on and with enough experience to differentiate, you should be fine. Of course, there are no guarantees in life. Agreed. But a lot of guys can't seem to do that, and still fall in for the trap. The women probably tell them they've changed & all the other crap, and the guys believe it. Than later on they see what they got themselves into.
Cristo Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 Agreed. But a lot of guys can't seem to do that, and still fall in for the trap. The women probably tell them they've changed & all the other crap, and the guys believe it. Than later on they see what they got themselves into. In all honesty, man, I haven't seen much of this in real life (only online). I've seen both women and men cheaters, but I don't think it's as common as people seem to think on LS and elsewhere. I know MANY couples and I don't know many that cheat. However, here are two examples: Female cheating on male: I know this couple from work. Basically, the female is a single mother with an extremely bad reputation at work. She slept with multiple people and even used sex to get favors from men. To be fair, she's pretty cool and a good friend, but I would never date her in a million years. Enter the virgin that was formerly a fat kid and got no attention from women previously. He ended up marrying her. I think you can see that the writing was on the wall here from the beginning. He is too inexperienced and she is too promiscuous for a solid relationship. Male cheating on female: I know this couple through friends. Basically, this girl was also promiscuous for a while and met her equal, a promiscuous male. They got married and had 3 kids. They seemed like a good couple until she filed for divorce. I came to find out that this guy not only was cheating with multiple women and prostitutes, but he gave her an STD while she was pregnant. All the while, she didn't cheat on him at all. Now, he left her, moved to a different state, and is not paying child support. Unfortunately, there are scum bags of both genders. We notice the trashy girls more and the guys that get screwed over because we can relate to it. It's selection bias. But, make no mistake, for every crappy girl out there, there is a crappy guy.
NJ123 Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 In all honesty, man, I haven't seen much of this in real life (only online). I've seen both women and men cheaters, but I don't think it's as common as people seem to think on LS and elsewhere. I know MANY couples and I don't know many that cheat. However, here are two examples: Female cheating on male: I know this couple from work. Basically, the female is a single mother with an extremely bad reputation at work. She slept with multiple people and even used sex to get favors from men. To be fair, she's pretty cool and a good friend, but I would never date her in a million years. Enter the virgin that was formerly a fat kid and got no attention from women previously. He ended up marrying her. I think you can see that the writing was on the wall here from the beginning. He is too inexperienced and she is too promiscuous for a solid relationship. Male cheating on female: I know this couple through friends. Basically, this girl was also promiscuous for a while and met her equal, a promiscuous male. They got married and had 3 kids. They seemed like a good couple until she filed for divorce. I came to find out that this guy not only was cheating with multiple women and prostitutes, but he gave her an STD while she was pregnant. All the while, she didn't cheat on him at all. Now, he left her, moved to a different state, and is not paying child support. Unfortunately, there are scum bags of both genders. We notice the trashy girls more and the guys that get screwed over because we can relate to it. It's selection bias. But, make no mistake, for every crappy girl out there, there is a crappy guy. Yeah, I do agree that people on online sites like this think people cheat more often than not since people are always posting their horror stories online. And you rarely hear anyone post about their relationships going good because there's really nothing to post about since there's no concerns. But my post had to do with the women who go for the a-hole type of guys though that want to settle down with a good guy as they get older. I'm sure in those situations the women is at a much higher risk of cheating due to her awful relationship history than a woman who's had good relationships in the past.
Natsu21 Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 This...hurt...my...eyes watching this. And women wonder why men want to be *******s. 1
ascendotum Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 lol most likely. And yeah, a lot of gym rats are a-holes so it's no surprise so many come on here to bitch about how they got treated like ****. Where I train there are a bunch of bros like this. Some are genuine jerks/d-bags, some are not but but see the other guys they look up get away with this stuff so act like that too, and others are not full on jerks/d-bags but pull off the act when out for fun for the kicks/power trip/see what they can get away with, because lots of young women lap it up and they experiment and see what they can get away with. I'm not saying the later is a whole lot better because when you are on the receiving end of it from women who get off of pulling stunts on guys simply because they can because of the power of their beauty - it sucks. Now if cocky full of themselves guys did this to stuck up full themselves girls then they're fair game. Its probably not as troll post. I've seen it numerous times hanging out with these sorts of guys and also been sometimes been disappointed that girls I really liked go for these guys like moths to a flame because of their good looks & over the top confidence. Probably some of the older savvy sage advice women on here got p&d'd by guys like this back in their 20s and can spot them easy now and despise them.
SleeplessIn Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 Myself, I think he's a riot -- I'd be rolling on the floor laughing! I will add, though, that I wouldn't take him seriously until he showed me some serious. Banter like this is used by many as a kind of "wall" to keep the other person on the outside, and often they are protecting some real vulnerabilities.
Andy_K Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 I'm not entirely convinced he's a jerk. I mean he might well be, but she's acting like just as much of an ass to him and it sounds like he is just playing along because he knows exactly how to. Could just be a defence mechanism. I wonder if he would take her more seriously if she stopped acting like a bratty b***h herself. 3
Cristo Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 Yeah, I do agree that people on online sites like this think people cheat more often than not since people are always posting their horror stories online. And you rarely hear anyone post about their relationships going good because there's really nothing to post about since there's no concerns. But my post had to do with the women who go for the a-hole type of guys though that want to settle down with a good guy as they get older. I'm sure in those situations the women is at a much higher risk of cheating due to her awful relationship history than a woman who's had good relationships in the past. Yeah true. I did realize I went off-topic a bit, but I felt that the point was still good enough to post.
veggirl Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 omfg girl. you're young so I'll be gentle and just say this: end this NOW. you will end up in this push / pull dramatic bullsh*t with this guy for YEARS if you don't. have some self-respect! that crap about getting turned on when he was being a jerk and watching you cry was seriously cringe-worthy and when you are tempted by him, you need to re-read what you wrote here about him. I'm serious, print out your posts here and put them in your purse if you need to. or screenshot them on your phone and if he tries to get in touch or you wanna call him, read back the sh*t he has done to you. ps: you don't freaking TELL the person you aren't going to talk to them anymore--that's just asking for attention. if you SERIOUSLY don't want to be involved with this anymore just stop calling / texting him and don't answer if he reaches out to you. quit inviting the drama by making grand tearful announcements.
lino Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 Well, there's definitely exceptions. But lots of young women keep repeating the same behavior over & over & keep falling for the jerks until they want a good guy just to start a family with & be secure before they get too old to have kids. I feel bad for those guys who fall for those women who have been used up by tons of trashy guys in the past. Why be with someone you know deep down would have never given you the time of day in the past & likely will cheat on you anyways when they have the chance. A lot of those types of women don't change. Yep. Women like this are one of the main reasons why dating is the sh*t fight it is today. They aren't uncommon either. Poor bastard the guy who ends up marrying this.
Diezel Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 OP seems more like she is 12. He knows how to play her game, which is why she is frustrated. Kids these days.
dispatch3d Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 lol wow so much hate. I loved him accusing you of being a player after you accused him. That is some hilarious **** and I will have to use that one. Anyhow its just playful banter. You keep trying to introduce some suck into the relationship and he's denying you. If you want to have a serious conversation I guess go for it, but really I don't blame him for his responses. I don't think he's "treating you like crap" and to be honest you are treating him worse than he's treating you. You banged an ex boyfriend while seeing him and then told him about it. That seems pretty bad. All he's done is cleverly gotten out of ****ty conversations that you try to initiate.
Gloria25 Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 I don't know why the OP gets into a back/forth banter with him...Not sure if she's trying to play like she's not that into him - yet, he can see she is - so, he zings her back... Over all, I think that trying to "knock him off his pedestal" isn't working for you.... So, either (1) Stop with the back and forth zinging and just enjoy the casual sex with him, cuz he knows you like him already...or, (2) Leave him and date a guy who isn't so arrogant. Reminds me of myself, I need to stop getting attracted to/involved with to smug jerks
Father'sGentleFlower Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 (edited) Um, so he's a professional douchebag. I wouldn't get involved with him, he sounds like an extremely fickle guy. Also, dispatch3d is right, you're really just playing him back. You two are just in a casual, open relationship as far as I can tell. Edited September 27, 2014 by Father'sGentleFlower
Natsu21 Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 I repeat...this is why guys end up confident d-bags.
SomeDude16 Posted September 27, 2014 Posted September 27, 2014 You're mistaking him being an ******* for him being confident. Take it from a guy, End it now or you will 100% regret it later.
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