BrightEyes8527 Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Well I've been spending a lot of time with this guy who I've known for about 6 months now. From the beginning it was obvious that there was a mutual attraction but we took it pretty slow. About 2 months ago we started holding hands and about a month ago we had our first kiss. We talk on the phone almost every day and see each other at least 3 times a week. He pays for me when we go places and makes sure I'm comfortable or warm enough or whatever I might need. It seems like we're dating but we've never discussed it. I know that he's not the kind of guy that would date around or do the whole "friend with benefits" thing, but I just don't know if I should assume we are dating or if I should bring it up. And if I do bring it up, I don't know what to say without sounding stupid because everything points to us already being a couple. So my question is, should I bring our status up, (and if so, how?) or should I just assume that we're dating?
laRubiaBonita Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 ask him straight up. Goodness, if you talk on the phone, like every day, bring it up. ask him how you should introduce him to a friend of yours. should you say "this is bob, a friend of mine" or this is my boyfriend, bob"? something like that.
iceisles Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Never assume anything, though it sounds like you're dating to me. I personally think he should bring it up, but if he won't, just come out and ask if you both are exclusive. There's nothing to be shy about asking this - you obviously know him well. I'm sure you would like to know what he's thinking.
alphamale Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Originally posted by BrightEyes8527 So my question is, should I bring our status up, (and if so, how?) or should I just assume that we're dating? It is the females job to bring up these issues and to ask for exclusivity from the man. Don't assume anything cause if i've been seeing a woman and she hasn't brought up "the TALK" then we are not exclusive and I can do whatever I want. I never bring up the "TALK", it is her responsibility.
iceisles Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale It is the females job to bring up these issues and to ask for exclusivity from the man. Don't assume anything cause if i've been seeing a woman and she hasn't brought up "the TALK" then we are not exclusive and I can do whatever I want. I never bring up the "TALK", it is her responsibility. Why is it her responsibility? I've always thought it was the man's duty to take the lead with this.
The_Fool Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles I personally think he should bring it up, but if he won't, just come out and ask if you both are exclusive. There's nothing to be shy about asking this... If it's been going on like this for this long, I'm willing to bet that he hasn't said anything yet because he's kind of scared of messing up a good thing. I've acted like that in the past for the very same reason. If you ask him whether you're exclusive, he'll probably start by trying to "hedge his bets"--not saying anything for sure one way or another until he knows what you're thinking. Instead, why don't you tell him that you want to be exclusive. It's a sure bet that he'll be absolutely ecstatic.
alphamale Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles Why is it her responsibility? I've always thought it was the man's duty to take the lead with this. For same reason why men are usually tasked with responsibliity of asking woman to get married. Women choose the man they want to be with so it is their resp to ask him to "be hers". If you have not noticed ICEISLES, men don't have much say in which woman they get to be with.
iceisles Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale If you have not noticed ICEISLES, men don't have much say in which woman they get to be with. Ain't that the truth. We are just buoys at the the mercy of love's waves.
laRubiaBonita Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale For same reason why men are usually tasked with responsibliity of asking woman to get married. Women choose the man they want to be with so it is their resp to ask him to "be hers". If you have not noticed ICEISLES, men don't have much say in which woman they get to be with. Originally posted by iceisles Ain't that the truth. We are just buoys at the the mercy of love's waves. Whew! You two must live in some single man's fantasy land!
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