jadeddd Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 It has been about 3 months now that my boyfriend of 3 years has left me for another woman. He basically started fights all the time and was always angry with me. He would break up with me then we would get back together. This last time however he never contacted me. After giving him some space for a few weeks when I contacted him to work things out, he lays the bomb on me. He has a new girlfriend. Fast forward 3 months to where we are now... He is posting new pictures of them on social media and really embarassing me. It hurts so much to see it. I looked at his social media only once after a mutual friend was telling me how often he posts pictures and how infatuated he seems. He talks about how much he loves her and how pretty she is. I cannot explain the amount of heartbreak I have felt these months... I have had this mans back from day 1. Does no one value loyalty anymore? I have been a really good girlfriend to him... I can't help but take this personally and my self esteem has really taken a hit. I have gone NC since the moment he told me. No begging or pleading from my end. Just left with my head held high. It is so hard to continue this journey respectfully. I can easily post pictures with a new guy or do things like that but I have chosen not to. What would it prove? That I allowed him to get to me and that I cannot be alone? It is hard to see the man you love, loving someone else. I would never take this man back, but sheesh, does he have to try to make it so public and really stick it to me? He has already left me for another woman and literally jumped into a new realtionship in a matter of days... There was no down time between me and this new woman... And yes I am sure he was talking to her while we were together... I just need some words of advice or encouragement on how to continue this high road as it is increasingly getting more difficult. He seems really infatuated with this new rebound and it hurts so much. 1
Dontfindme Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Do yourself a favor, and block him on everything. And politely ask your friends not to give you updates on his life. Focus on yourself - distract yourself, work out - helps with the endorphins, hang out with close friends, give yourself plenty of time to recover. Everything else will fall into place in due time.
Author jadeddd Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 Thank you for your response. I have blocked him on everything and moving forward I have told my mutual friends. Being human, I did look when I was informed of his constant posts and outpour of showing her off. I have been trying to do the right things and move forward. I have been doing everything the right way... I just makes me feel so sad. Why does he get to be happy? While I am feeling rejected, alone and abandoned... Life feels so unfair.
SoThatHappened Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Do yourself a favor, and block him on everything. And politely ask your friends not to give you updates on his life. Focus on yourself - distract yourself, work out - helps with the endorphins, hang out with close friends, give yourself plenty of time to recover. Everything else will fall into place in due time. This. And more of the advice you'll get on here. I can spend a lot of time giving you advice, but you'll get plenty of that soon. What I can do is maybe help you out with this: I jumped into a relationship after ending a long-term one, only to be busted up twice. It didn't last. Vine-swinging relationships rarely last. Karma, or whatever, bit me in the @ss. I hope you find some solace in that his new relationship, especially since he's broadcasting it all over the internet, probably won't last.
Author jadeddd Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 This. And more of the advice you'll get on here. I can spend a lot of time giving you advice, but you'll get plenty of that soon. What I can do is maybe help you out with this: I jumped into a relationship after ending a long-term one, only to be busted up twice. It didn't last. Vine-swinging relationships rarely last. Karma, or whatever, bit me in the @ss. I hope you find some solace in that his new relationship, especially since he's broadcasting it all over the internet, probably won't last. Thank you for taking the time to chime in, I appreciate it. I know the stories of men leaving their partner for another woman only for the rebound to fall apart. Then again, there are stories of men leaving for the rebound only to end up marrying them. I have not held on to any hope that he will return as it wouldn't matter anymore to me at this point. I would never have him back. I would however love it if he came crawling back realizing how horrible he was to me... It would only be for my ego and kind of just to know the world had come full circle. That karma did get him. I do find solace in your response as it does give me hope in the karma aspect. As stated... I would never take him back after this kind of betrayal and embarassment.
Phoe Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I'm so sorry. All my exes except for one, left me for another woman. I know how badly it hurts. All I can tell you is that I am better now. I am okay. More than okay. Take it one day at a time. It's okay to feel emotional. Then it's okay to feel nothing. Then you might feel emotional again. Do whatever you can each day to put a smile on your face. Make yourself happy. Even if you don't really want to, try to.
mightycpa Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 all that up above, I second it. One more thing though. He's not doing it to you. Your frame of reference is how it affects him. His frame of reference is NOT how it affects you. He's not doing this to you. He's just doing it.
me85 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 You and I were left the same way. Literally, word for word. I know the pain you feel. It is very hard to be left this way. Like others have said, you need to block him from everything. Please please make it so you don't see or hear about anything he's up to. Tell friends not to tell you stuff. It does get better, I promise you that. Ask me anything. I can help.
Author jadeddd Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 I'm so sorry. All my exes except for one, left me for another woman. I know how badly it hurts. All I can tell you is that I am better now. I am okay. More than okay. Take it one day at a time. It's okay to feel emotional. Then it's okay to feel nothing. Then you might feel emotional again. Do whatever you can each day to put a smile on your face. Make yourself happy. Even if you don't really want to, try to. It gives me some comfort to know I am not alone. Thank you for your advice. I am trying my best everyday. One moment at a time. 1
Author jadeddd Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 all that up above, I second it. One more thing though. He's not doing it to you. Your frame of reference is how it affects him. His frame of reference is NOT how it affects you. He's not doing this to you. He's just doing it. I get what you are saying. I suppose it is just that I would never do what he is doing to me to someone else. I would try to keep the outward posts and bragging to myself as to spare my ex partners feelings. But I suppose that is just me. You are right that he is not doing this to me, he is just doing it.
Author jadeddd Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 You and I were left the same way. Literally, word for word. I know the pain you feel. It is very hard to be left this way. Like others have said, you need to block him from everything. Please please make it so you don't see or hear about anything he's up to. Tell friends not to tell you stuff. It does get better, I promise you that. Ask me anything. I can help. It has gotten better these past few weeks, slowly... It feels like a rollercoaster. It comes in waves. One day I feel okay, the next day is horrible. I just want the pain to stop. I just want to feel normal again... It has been months of pure agony and I feel like I am just faking it until I make it. I want to make it.
AbandonedHeart Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Girl, I feel you 100% and am going through the same thing. My ex who I was with for almost 5 years just told me he has a new girlfriend, and it absolutely crushes me, and I still don't want to believe it. In your situation, it is likely that she is a rebound and it may not last too long. He may just not know how to be alone. I don't understand how someone can go from dating one person for many years to dating someone new right away. I feel like a lot of the unresolved issues from the old relationship usually subconsciously spills into the new one. I have no doubt that in time, he will miss you and may even try to come back. Stay strong, and realize that you don't need him in order to be happy or fulfilled (even though it seems that way now). In actuality - his new rebound girlfriend got the short end of the stick, not you.
Elle1975 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Stop checking his social media, for one. Add him to your block list, and ask your friend not to talk about him. Once you've done that, keep up with the real NC. As you know now, there is a reason why people advocate the no contact. I hope you feel better soon.
me85 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Well, my ex has been with his rebound after me for more than 9 months now... Best thing she can do for herself is block him from her social media.
Bella2 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I cannot explain the amount of heartbreak I have felt these months... I have had this mans back from day 1. Does no one value loyalty anymore? I have been a really good girlfriend to him... I can't help but take this personally and my self esteem has really taken a hit. I have gone NC since the moment he told me. No begging or pleading from my end. Just left with my head held high. This shows that you're a strong person! You're hurting now, but seeing how you reacted, so dignified, says a lot about you It is hard to see the man you love, loving someone else. I would never take this man back, but sheesh, does he have to try to make it so public and really stick it to me? He has already left me for another woman and literally jumped into a new realtionship in a matter of days... There was no down time between me and this new woman... And yes I am sure he was talking to her while we were together... I was only 1 year with my last boyfriend, but the same happened. Two weeks ago, that was three weeks after the BU, he started a relationship with this woman he was apparently already attracted to before he broke up with me. Yep, it hurts. But you have to try to remember that YOU didn't change as a person. It doesn't have to damage your self-esteem. You are still YOU. The same loving person you were before. You did nothing wrong. I just need some words of advice or encouragement on how to continue this high road as it is increasingly getting more difficult. He seems really infatuated with this new rebound and it hurts so much. I understand a 100%. But you know? In the end it has nothing to do with YOU. As I said: you're still the same wonderful person you were! That it hurts because he is with someone else, is because we humans don't like to be rejected/thrown away, and that is basically all because of our ego....
No Limit Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 You dodged a bullet. No need to be sad, he's her problem now. Besides, they all smile on Facebook. It's fake and show.
me85 Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 You dodged a bullet. No need to be sad, he's her problem now. Besides, they all smile on Facebook. It's fake and show. Yea, it's really something when you just don't give a damn about them or who they're with or what they're doing anymore. Great for them! She's just his next ex. Even if they get married...even if he knocks her up...it still won't last! Unless she's just as effed up as he is. LOL (I am referring to my ex)
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