Destined2B Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I'm dating a wonderful person who has been most kind and caring towards me than anyone else has. We're both in our mid 20's and really enjoy each others company. The problem is that I have a hard time envisioning an LTR with this girl because of her health. She is only 25 and always complains about back pain, joint discomfort and food allergies. She refuses to eat anything I offer because she's afraid she's gonna have a reaction to it. She can't take emergency contraception because it gives her immense pain. She does keep herself in shape though, mostly by a restrictive diet. I can understand that she didn't choose her health to be that way, but looking at some of her lifestyle factors she is certainly making it worse- smoking, stress, poor sleep. I never met a person who looked so healthy on the surface ( and who I was so physically attracted to) yet had all those underlying health issues. I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling all those things because I care for her. Also, seems like to most men just want a pretty woman, so I feel weird for even thinking about her health. Any feedback or similar experiences?
mammasita Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Looks aren't everything. IMO you're letting that blind you. All that glitters ain't gold. The complaining would annoy me to no end. 2
deathandtaxes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 If you want a woman who can't take care of her own health, then here she is. Maintaining weight through a restrictive diet is asinine. Her other issues might resolve themselves if she led an active life and ate a proper diet. Not sure about the food allergies, though. She may need to see a doc about that stuff. She's a time bomb. 1
LoneIsland Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 She's a princess who needs a prince with a princely sum, unless of course she has her own royal mint. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Why would she need emergency contraception? What prevented you both from using birth control up front in a responsible manner? Based on what you described, I don't see this hypochondriac's temperament about her health improving as she ages. Can you really imagine her pregnant? Watch out world! 2
Ruby Slippers Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Not good. If she complains this much at 25, imagine her in 20 years. She might be bed-ridden by then! 2
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I hope this doesn't sound too insensitive: Are these real problems or is she a hypochondriac? 2
mightycpa Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I would counsel that you get over HER, rather than her health issues. It's one thing to find yourself in a pile of ****. It is quite another to go looking for it. 1
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Can you really imagine her pregnant? Watch out world! ...or actually ill? 1
lollipopspot Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 (edited) I'm surprised that people are jumping to the idea that she's a hypochondriac and a "princess." Lots of people have medical issues that cause them joint discomfort, have skeletal or muscular issues that give them back pain, and have digestive issues. Whether you want to be with someone with health challenges is one thing, but it seems to me to be extremely insensitive to jump to the assumption, from so little information given, that she doesn't have legitimate health issues. But for the grace of god go you folks. Lucky for you you were given healthy bodies at a young age. Not everyone is so fortunate. Edited September 25, 2014 by lollipopspot 4
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I but it seems to me to be extremely insensitive to jump to the assumption, from so little information given, that she doesn't have legitimate health issues. Her refusal to try new foods is what makes me suspect she's not legitimately ill. If she said I can't eat XY&Z that would be one thing but a restrictive diet with no explanation & no seeming desire to change adds up to something is off. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 When you want to be with someone with health challenges is one thing, but it seems to me to be extremely insensitive to jump to the assumption, from so little information given, that she doesn't have legitimate health issues. The OP said: She is only 25 and always complains about back pain, joint discomfort and food allergies. It's one thing to have food allergies and health problems that cause back pain and joint discomfort. It's another thing to "always complain" about it. She would be a much more attractive partner if she dealt with her health issues and found ways to cope with them, rather than burdening her boyfriend with a litany of complaints about them. I'm sure he would be understanding of the facts, but it's very draining to deal with a constant complainer. 1
lollipopspot Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Her refusal to try new foods is what makes me suspect she's not legitimately ill. If she said I can't eat XY&Z that would be one thing but a restrictive diet with no explanation & no seeming desire to change adds up to something is off. He wrote: She refuses to eat anything I offer because she's afraid she's gonna have a reaction to it. That is an explanation, and it sounds like someone who has reactions to different foods, so she is trying to control those foods and reactions. Based on the reactions in this thread, she's probably had plenty of doubt and irritation thrown her way for her digestive issues. She may not even know exactly what causes the reactions, and some digestive issues are just that difficult to diagnose and control. For all we know she has IBS or undiagnosed Crohn's or something. Man, I find these reactions stunning. I don't yet see much in his posts that indicates she's faking it or overreacting or whatever. For all I know at this point, she's actually in a lot of distress and is tempering her behavior. I'd want more information, but if she gets anything like the reaction here, she probably keeps specifics to herself. 1
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Her refusal to try new foods is what makes me suspect she's not legitimately ill. If she said I can't eat XY&Z that would be one thing but a restrictive diet with no explanation & no seeming desire to change adds up to something is off. Add in her smoking and her refusal to stick to a better sleep regimen...among other things.
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 He wrote: That is an explanation, and it sounds like someone who has reactions to different foods, so she is trying to control those foods and reactions. Based on the reactions in this thread, she's probably had plenty of doubt and irritation thrown her way for her digestive issues. She may not even know exactly what causes the reactions, and some digestive issues are just that difficult to diagnose and control. For all we know she has IBS or undiagnosed Crohn's or something. Man, I find these reactions stunning. I don't yet see much in his posts that indicates she's faking it or overreacting or whatever. For all I know at this point, she's actually in a lot of distress and is tempering her behavior. I'd want more information, but if she gets anything like the reaction here, she probably keeps specifics to herself. It's a bit of a leap to claim she has digestive issues, Crohn's, or IBS because she has food allergies. Maybe I just missed the diarrhea, bloating, etc. in his post.
Author Destined2B Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 Why would she need emergency contraception? What prevented you both from using birth control up front in a responsible manner? Based on what you described, I don't see this hypochondriac's temperament about her health improving as she ages. Can you really imagine her pregnant? Watch out world! She doesn't take BC because it makes her sick. I even asked her if we gonna be using condoms all the time and she said yes. She is afraid of getting pregnant yet cant take precautionary measures on her end. Fair? She talked to me about pregnancy. Her doctor said because of her pelvic structure it will be hard labour. And your comment about my hypochondriac temperament made me chuckle
lollipopspot Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 It's a bit of a leap to claim she has digestive issues, Crohn's, or IBS because she has food allergies. Maybe I just missed the diarrhea, bloating, etc. in his post. He wrote: She refuses to eat anything I offer because she's afraid she's gonna have a reaction to it. We don't know what her "reactions" are. I didn't "claim" she had anything, but that for all we know at this point, it's possible she has some undiagnosed or difficult to diagnose issue. With so little information given, I find it surprising that people are leaping to hypochondria etc.
Gaeta Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 She is only 25 and always complains about back pain, joint discomfort and food allergies. As she seen a doctor concerning those? She refuses to eat anything I offer because she's afraid she's gonna have a reaction to it.. At the age of 25 I am sure she ate food of all groups. She knows what she has reactions to. What food could you possibly be offering her that she has not eaten yet? beef? chicken? pasta? ALL the food you offer her is new food to her? She can't take emergency contraception because it gives her immense pain. . Emergency contraceptive is NOT a contraceptive, it's not to be taken on regular basis. You need a real contraceptive. If the pill makes her sick then she has another variety of contraceptive she can use such as IUD, the patch, the shots, condoms. She does keep herself in shape though, mostly by a restrictive diet.. This, combined with the fact she never wants to eat what you give her, to me screams eating disorder. To me she sounds like someone that likes to complains but never does anything about it. Get used to it.
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I didn't "claim" she had anything, but that for all we know at this point, it's possible she has some undiagnosed or difficult to diagnose issue. With so little information given, I find it surprising that people are leaping to hypochondria etc. Fine. You suggested those may be issues. Others suggested she may be a hypochondriac, things may progress to the point that she's debilitated while still relatively young, etc. Why are your suggestions acceptable, but those of other posters "stunning" or "insensitive" (your words)?
Gaeta Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 It just dawn on me, she does not want to take the pills because there is a gain of weight associated with the pills. Your girlfriend is showing symptoms of eating disorder, I wouldn't be surprised she is on her way to anorexia city. Joint discomfort and back pain can be caused my deficiency in important vitamins and minerals. 1
lollipopspot Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Fine. You suggested those may be issues. Others suggested she may be a hypochondriac, things may progress to the point that she's debilitated while still relatively young, etc. Why are your suggestions acceptable, but those of other posters "stunning" or "insensitive" (your words)? Because mine were in reaction to accusations about her based on little information, and were possible suggestions of other things that could be happening, since we don't actually know what's happening. I suggested getting more information before jumping to ANY conclusions - good or bad. But I think the resolution is clear: you and anyone who is not sympathetic or doesn't want to explore more before jumping to the conclusion that someone is a hypochondriac and faker should not be with anyone who has medical issues. If your first impulse is thinking the negative about someone with health issues, you'd do them a favor by passing. 2
mightycpa Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Wow. Look at the ****storm just posting about her caused. I can't imagine the level of drama associated with actually knowing her. Wait! Yes I can. I have a sister-in-law like that. Some things are imagined, some are real. She's a pain in the ass either way, and everybody has an opinion. None of them are good. I stand by my earlier advice.
Maleficent Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 She doesn't take BC because it makes her sick. I even asked her if we gonna be using condoms all the time and she said yes. She is afraid of getting pregnant yet cant take precautionary measures on her end. Fair? She talked to me about pregnancy. Her doctor said because of her pelvic structure it will be hard labour. And your comment about my hypochondriac temperament made me chuckle Wait. The pill makes her sick. How is it unfair that you will be using a condom all the time? Do you think it's fair that she should endure the bad side effects of the pill just so you don't have to use a condom? 6
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 (edited) Because mine were in reaction to accusations about her based on little information, and were possible suggestions of other things that could be happening, since we don't actually know what's happening. I suggested getting more information before jumping to ANY conclusions - good or bad. But I think the resolution is clear: you and anyone who is not sympathetic or doesn't want to explore more before jumping to the conclusion that someone is a hypochondriac and faker should not be with anyone who has medical issues. If your first impulse is thinking the negative about someone with health issues, you'd do them a favor by passing. Accusations? Wow! You offer suggestions and everyone else is unsympathetic and accusatory. A lot of presumptions in your post. I mentally flipped through about fifty possibilities about the constellation he described before posting a simple question. Take your emotion out of it and re-read the thread. And for the record, there is a big difference between a hypochondriac and someone suffering from Munchausen's syndrome! Edited September 25, 2014 by angel.eyes
Maleficent Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 It's a bit of a leap to claim she has digestive issues, Crohn's, or IBS because she has food allergies. Maybe I just missed the diarrhea, bloating, etc. in his post. It's a bit of a leap to claim she has anything (or not) at this point... 2
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